View Full Version : Keep in touch with ex's?
A question for you all. Do you keep in touch with ex boyfriends/girlfriends?
An ex of mine keeps emailing/messaging me every now and again. I really can't be arsed to answer but that feels rather rude so I end up sending a polite reply but that just encourages him. So I was wondering what other people do?
If you're also includes ex husbands then, NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,
Carsick
19-04-05, 10:04 AM
Only if I'm still friends with them.
Usually by the time I break up with somebody, neither of us have any pressing need to talk to the other, so it's ok.
I only have 3! 1st one i see every now and again as she cuts my mums hair and lives localy so now choice really.
Second one, well, nope. I used to still see her mum and dad a lot, then thought this wasnt heathly and stopped going round.
The 3rd. We sort of got on ok after we split then it got a bit wierd, then one day i got a fantastic message telling me that she had found someone new etc...so i took the hint!
In an ideal world, it would be nice if you caould remain friends, but its not just like that.
Nope, but then my last ex was at least 6 years ago!
Ceri JC
19-04-05, 10:07 AM
I only stay in touch with one ex. That finished comparatively amicably (given that we were engaged) and we get on well now. Only see her a couple of times a year now, but stay in touch with email.
It's nice, as she's getting less and less like me (and I'm getting less and less like her), so if anything, it kills off those "what if" feelings. I view her as an old friend now, someone you can see every once in a while and get along with, but not someone you'd make the effort to see all the time, you wouldn't be upset if they moved abroad, etc.
One girl kept ringing/txting, even once I was going out with someone else (and I'd told her). I stopped replying and she got the message after a few weeks.
I keep in touch with mine, but you gradually tend to grow apart anyway over time, new partners etc
Usually by the time I break up with somebody, neither of us have any pressing need to talk to the other, so it's ok.
Thats just it, I really don't have any pressing need to speak to him but he seems to feel the need to 'check up' on me. He's an ex from about 7 years ago, he got back in contact last year.
I've already given him the hint that I'm extremely busy and have a boyfriend etc and he still wants to chat.
Ceri JC
19-04-05, 10:09 AM
Second one, well, nope. I used to still see her mum and dad a lot, then thought this wasnt heathly and stopped going round.
Yeah, I was really good friends with my ex's mum (get your mind out of the gutter :D ). Seemed a bit of a pain to stop seeing her too, but it's a bit weird to keep seeing them- it could always be mistaken for you wanted to see your ex "by chance" over their house, etc.
I guess that would depend on the ex...
I'm good mates with an ex boyfriend from school.
As for my ex-hubby I'd rather not (although I've got to arrange getting the last of my stuff from his place). We run into each other at various 'do's' as our social circles still clash but I'm happier if he's not around.
If you don't want to, don't. :)
Itching 2 go
19-04-05, 10:11 AM
what should you do if your ex is good frends with your best mates then? Ignore them? Block them off msn? Should you feel the need to shut them off in the interest of your new/current partner?
diamond
19-04-05, 10:11 AM
It certainly depends on the ex, the last one no way in hell would i want to speak to him but the one before that i see at least once a week and when he got married in January i was invited to the wedding, i've spent many an evening with his now wife discussng his many flaws whilst watching him play football.
Carsick
19-04-05, 10:11 AM
Usually by the time I break up with somebody, neither of us have any pressing need to talk to the other, so it's ok.
Thats just it, I really don't have any pressing need to speak to him but he seems to feel the need to 'check up' on me. He's an ex from about 7 years ago, he got back in contact last year.
Do what I did to a girl from 4 years ago who wanted to start talking to me again, ignore the messages.
She came out with stuff like "You might think I was a bitch but the time we had together is still special to me" f**king crazy bunny boiler.
Second one, well, nope. I used to still see her mum and dad a lot, then thought this wasnt heathly and stopped going round.
Yeah, I was really good friends with my ex's mum (get your mind out of the gutter :D ). Seemed a bit of a pain to stop seeing her too, but it's a bit weird to keep seeing them- it could always be mistaken for you wanted to see your ex "by chance" over their house, etc.
I have always found it difficult to 'split p' form the families, except my last ex. Her mum was dead wired and thought she was running 'The Family' in a Don Calieone(sp?) type way!!
If you're also includes ex husbands then, NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO,
Is that a 'No' then? :? :lol:
No chance!!! :twisted:
I struggle to remember their names let alone trying to keep in touch with them! :wink: :lol:
Nope, dont stay in contact with any of my exes, last couple havent been the most amicable of breakups! :shock:
Happy now with current g/f, so why spoil it by digging up the past....
It certainly depends on the ex, the last one no way in hell would i want to speak to him but the one before that i see at least once a week and when he got married in January i was invited to the wedding, i've spent many an evening with his now wife discussng his many flaws whilst watching him play football.
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Generally I haven't had to see my ex's as they've been somewhere else in the country or with a different group of friends when we've split up. I do think it's possible to be friends with an Ex but you shouldn't speak to them for a bit after the split so that you can find your own space.
Itching 2 go
19-04-05, 10:37 AM
what should you do if your ex is good frends with your best mates then? Ignore them? Block them off msn? Should you feel the need to shut them off in the interest of your new/current partner?well, anybody?
Carsick
19-04-05, 10:40 AM
what should you do if your ex is good frends with your best mates then? Ignore them? Block them off msn? Should you feel the need to shut them off in the interest of your new/current partner?well, anybody?
Get new mates?
Flamin_Squirrel
19-04-05, 10:41 AM
what should you do if your ex is good frends with your best mates then? Ignore them? Block them off msn? Should you feel the need to shut them off in the interest of your new/current partner?well, anybody?
Why should it be a problem? Just act like you were never together. If you're with someone new, that shouldn't be difficult.
Itching 2 go
19-04-05, 10:41 AM
what should you do if your ex is good frends with your best mates then? Ignore them? Block them off msn? Should you feel the need to shut them off in the interest of your new/current partner?well, anybody?
Get new mates?ok :D jambo move out! :lol: :lol:
well, anybody?
ok :D jambo move out! :lol: :lol:
I have already covered this in an MSN conversation as I didn't feel the board was a place for specifics of your dilema.
In summary: You never see her anyway and none of your mates have been dumb enough to invite everyone's ex's out without consulting relevant parties.
*Also I can change the locks before you get back :wink:
Itching 2 go
19-04-05, 10:57 AM
well, anybody?
ok :D jambo move out! :lol: :lol:
I have already covered this in an MSN conversation as I didn't feel the board was a place for specifics of your dilema.
In summary: You never see her anyway and none of your mates have been dumb enough to invite everyone's ex's out without consulting relevant parties.
*Also I can change the locks before you get back :wink:lol no :!: :lol:
yes i keep in touch with two or three ex's
its more for them really :wink:
Itching 2 go
19-04-05, 11:26 AM
yes i keep in touch with two or three ex's
its more for them really :wink:If its just for them y bother?
yes i keep in touch with two or three ex's
its more for them really :wink:If its just for them y bother?
good point.....
:twisted:
If I wanted to contact an ex it would be for one of three reasons;
a, to pi$$ off my wife
b, to be smug about my current circumstances or
c, try hit it again....
just being brutaly honest from a blurks pov.
b, to be smug about my current circumstances or
c, try hit it again....
This is what I've assumed. Lol, I really don't give a ****! I've answered his last few emails politely enough, I think thats enough. Hopefully with time he will get the message.
Itching 2 go
19-04-05, 11:58 AM
b, to be smug about my current circumstances or
c, try hit it again....
This is what I've assumed. Lol, I really don't give a sh*t! I've answered his last few emails politely enough, I think thats enough. Hopefully with time he will get the message.just tell him you will set your new boyfriend on him! :lol:
a, to pi$$ off my wife
b, to be smug about my current circumstances or
c, try hit it again....
LOL, and totally correct....
Now regarding point c, where did I put those numbers? :lol:
Itching 2 go
19-04-05, 12:04 PM
a, to pi$$ off my wife
b, to be smug about my current circumstances or
c, try hit it again....
LOL, and totally correct....
Now regarding point c, where did I put those numbers? :lol:now, now james thats not the man I knew yesterday is it?!!?!?!
A couple of my ex's are good friends these days so I guess it can be a good thing as long as both parties are clear on the boundaries of friendship. 8)
I left the country - does that count as not talking anymore?
On the other hand my wife was at uni with her ex so they stayed friends. They seem to get along OK. He just comes out with patronising comments occasionally making me want to lamp him... Is that an okay feeling to have about your wifes ex trying to make her feel small or am I just being violent?
Stu
Itching 2 go
19-04-05, 01:53 PM
I left the country - does that count as not talking anymore?
On the other hand my wife was at uni with her ex so they stayed friends. They seem to get along OK. He just comes out with patronising comments occasionally making me want to lamp him... Is that an okay feeling to have about your wifes ex trying to make her feel small or am I just being violent?
Stunot at all thats perfectly fine, shows you care
No its all usally gone far to wrong by then of course never my fault. :lol:
Couerdelion
19-04-05, 02:51 PM
Just for reason (c) as above.
You never know when you might be going through a barren period and an ex might come in useful for the night :-)
Hmmm, I've only actually got two ex's and two completely opposing views on the subject.
The first I'd quite happily cross the street for, run through a crowded pub to and generally make a great deal of effort to connect with if I ever saw him again...
... but only if that connection was being made between his face and my boot.
I am actually very non-violent. Pretty much a pacifist on behalf of myself, he however, is the one person I can honestly say that I would take great pleasure in inflicting physical harm upon by any and all means neccessary. Lucky for my morals I haven't seen him since we split up really.
My second ex and I still stay in touch kinda, mainly through his parents, as they look after my dog whenever I go away. Got the wee beastie when we were going out, when they also had two dogs. Theirs died shortly after Carl and I split up (amicably) and so they wanted to continue looking after Kodo rather than get another dog themselves.
Besides, it's great therapy for Carl's Dad whose suffers from ME and doesn't get out much. Kodo just infects everyone with energy wherever he goes - my dog's special. :oops:
Besides, Carl and I didn't so much split up as drift apart, eventually we drifted as far apart as Berkshire and Bedfordshire! :P
As for the circle of friends thing, both Carl and Adam (my current other half of seven years) attended many of the same social/club events, as did I, and we've always all just got on together as mates. At first it was a little difficult, but no really for the three of us but for our friends. They had a bit of trouble some of them coming to terms with the fact there were simply no 'sides' to choose.
Eventually they got the message though. :D
ArtyLady
19-04-05, 06:42 PM
All of my ex's are from over 20 years ago so I cant remember whether we parted on bad terms or not and a couple of them are in the same social circle, we get on ok and my old man doesnt mind. 8)
northwind
19-04-05, 09:43 PM
I'm still in touch with my last serious ex, but we were close before we were ever a couple. If I'm honest, the only reason I didn't just walk away after we split was because I was fairly sure we'd end up getting back together, didn't work out like that but I'm glad we made the effort to stay in touch.
I'm still looking for an excuse to murder the s****hawk she's going out with now, mind, but that's purely coincidental :)
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