View Full Version : Impressing birds by any means whatsoever
northwind
23-02-06, 12:58 PM
Any suggestions? All the ones so far have been ****.
Look you risk yourself being banned quicker than guyowen, who has yet to be banned.
i use charm, sophistication, humour, charisma and a lot of style to get myself a laydeee
and a dash of rohypnol
northwind
23-02-06, 01:05 PM
Perhaps if I rode through town doing tankstands, I could run down and cripple a young lady, and keep her in a box?
stewboy
23-02-06, 01:06 PM
i use luck and charm ....along with help of hypnosis :lol:
and a dash of rohypnol
That's honestly a bit out of order Keith, joking aside.
,
Well this thread is realy intresting, way better than the others. :roll:
wyrdness
23-02-06, 01:11 PM
Northy, you're from Scotoilerland - so wear a kilt. They attract women like nothing else I've ever experienced. You'll be fighting them off. I can speak from a lot of experience of this :D :D :D
Join the fire brigade, women seem to swoon over fireman whatever they look like.
Plus you'll be doing a worthwhile job and helping people. :D
and a dash of rohypnol
That's honestly a bit out of order Keith, joking aside.
,
even if the post is quite evidently a joke?
mysteryjimbo
23-02-06, 01:40 PM
I do my elephant impression.
*lob*
:lol:
and a dash of rohypnol
That's honestly a bit out of order Keith, joking aside.
,
even if the post is quite evidently a joke?
'fraid so Keith IMO. I'm not convinced that humour is justifiable for something like that.
.
and a dash of rohypnol
That's honestly a bit out of order Keith, joking aside.
,
even if the post is quite evidently a joke?
'fraid so Keith IMO. I'm not convinced that humour is justifiable for something like that.
.
i guess that is your right to express your displeasure at my post. if i offended you i apologise, however i shant make any promises i'll not post something of bad taste in the future.
one mans meat is another mans poison, as the saying goes
Anonymous
23-02-06, 01:52 PM
Guaranteed to get the tits out
http://www.tuppenceabag.co.uk/images/products/giant_suet_ball.jpg
scooby2102
23-02-06, 01:57 PM
why not ask the ladies themselves what would impress them, surely they could give us some clues as to how to woo them
since iv'e been single 3 years, I definitely need some tips
all tips gratefully appreciated :D
:lol: :lol: what about the nuthatches?
i guess that is your right to express your displeasure at my post. if i offended you i apologise, however i shant make any promises i'll not post something of bad taste in the future.
one mans meat is another mans poison, as the saying goes
Fair enough, I wouldn't wish to censure you, I just think that although all subjects in life can be discussed, applying humour to them isn't always valid or indeed acceptable.
.
Anonymous
23-02-06, 04:11 PM
:lol: :lol: what about the nuthatches?
One of these does the trick
http://www.125west.com/images/Whitehall_SuetFeeder_Nuthatch.jpg
philipMac
23-02-06, 04:30 PM
and a dash of rohypnol
That's honestly a bit out of order Keith, joking aside.
,
even if the post is quite evidently a joke?
Hold on... you were joking there?
Bugger.
Great. Anyone know where I can unload three liters of Rohypnol...
_Stretchie_
23-02-06, 04:31 PM
In the words of Chubby Brown, I have found that there are three special words that get the ladies going....
NATIONAL
LOTTERY
WINNER
Then when you have finally won them over you admit you only got 3 numbers... Technically not a lie
hall13uk
23-02-06, 04:36 PM
i have errrrm aquired £40m do reckon that will impress the women :?:
northwind
23-02-06, 04:38 PM
Northy, you're from Scotoilerland - so wear a kilt. They attract women like nothing else I've ever experienced. You'll be fighting them off. I can speak from a lot of experience of this :D :D :D
With my right leg? All I'd get is "Why is your left leg twice the size as the left?" :roll: :wink:
Perhaps if I rode through town doing tankstands, I could run down a crippled young lady, and keep her in a box?
Only in Northampton mate! :wink: And only if it was a really nice box, with TV, ensuite and a garage!
Guaranteed to get the t*ts out
http://www.tuppenceabag.co.uk/images/products/giant_suet_ball.jpg
LMAO :lol: :lol: :lol:
I just go for the tried & tested route............................................. .......get em drunk. :wink:
wyrdness
23-02-06, 04:41 PM
Northy, you're from Scotoilerland - so wear a kilt. They attract women like nothing else I've ever experienced. You'll be fighting them off. I can speak from a lot of experience of this :D :D :D
With my right leg? All I'd get is "Why is your left leg twice the size as the left?" :roll: :wink:
Is that from your bike accident? Got any scars to show them? In the words of James Tosleand, 'Chicks dig scars'.
Flamin_Squirrel
23-02-06, 04:44 PM
Northy, you're from Scotoilerland - so wear a kilt. They attract women like nothing else I've ever experienced. You'll be fighting them off. I can speak from a lot of experience of this :D :D :D
With my right leg? All I'd get is "Why is your left leg twice the size as the left?" :roll: :wink:
Is that from your bike accident? Got any scars to show them? In the words of James Tosleand, 'Chicks dig scars'.
That, and he's got a good chisled jaw look going on. Oh, and the fact he's a world super bike champ probably doesnt hurt his chances either :lol:
Northy, you're from Scotoilerland - so wear a kilt. They attract women like nothing else I've ever experienced. You'll be fighting them off. I can speak from a lot of experience of this :D :D :D
With my right leg? All I'd get is "Why is your left leg twice the size as the left?" :roll: :wink:
They may even be asking why you've got two left legs! :shock:
northwind
23-02-06, 04:58 PM
Whoops.
In bike accidents, the worst I've had was a slight burn on my knee. But I've maneged to demolish my right leg twice, fractured my hip by slipping on some ice while walking, and then tore ligaments in my knee by cunningly having 20 4x8 wooden boards fall on me.
Whoops.
In bike accidents, the worst I've had was a slight burn on my knee. But I've maneged to demolish my right leg twice, fractured my hip by slipping on some ice while walking, and then tore ligaments in my knee by cunningly having 20 4x8 wooden boards fall on me.
So you have got a right leg... but, but... does that mean you've got THREE legs! :shock:
Don't knock it - it worked for Rolf Harris, you just need to sing a silly song and dance about a bit! :wink: :twisted:
Biker Biggles
23-02-06, 05:24 PM
I daresay some birds would be impressed by a good third leg. :lol:
I'm impressed by a man who'll ride as hard and fast with me as pillion as he would one up.
If I wanted to pootle I'd go on a Harley!
(White lilies and Ferrero Rocher don't hurt, either :D )
philipMac
23-02-06, 05:34 PM
If I wanted to pootle I'd go on a Harley!
:shock: Well. Is that what the kids are calling it these days.
I shall make a note of this.
If I wanted to pootle I'd go on a Harley!
:shock: Well. Is that what the kids are calling it these days.
I shall make a note of this.
:D :D :D :D
Thank you................made me laugh out loud after a sh*tty day at work.
just need a big brick in my experience :D
or have money, that always works too, when did you last see an ugly rich guy without a decent looking bird
philipMac
23-02-06, 06:27 PM
have money, that always works too, when did you last see an ugly rich guy without a decent looking bird
Have you seen the state of the small rodent that Donald Trump scraped up off the side of the road, rinsed off, and applied to his head?
I have seen more realistic hair on Cabbage Patch Dolls.
And, have you seen the chick he is knocking about with??
So, it must be his delightful personality.
BWAAAHHH HAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHA. :lol: :lol:
Yes. Must be.
Exactly..... There's a few old geezers with ferrari's round here and they always have some bird about 20-30 years younger with em.... :roll:
I want to be rich :cry:
philipMac
23-02-06, 06:41 PM
Exactly..... There's a few old geezers with ferrari's round here and they always have some bird about 20-30 years younger with em.... :roll:
I want to be rich :cry:
Thing is though... old geezers... young birds with lots of time on their hands...
hmm. There might be a market niche there for, how do we put this, a more responsive sort of a chap.
Anonymous
23-02-06, 06:50 PM
I want to be rich :cry:
I know mate, but its not so easy for me either :lol:
Warthog
24-02-06, 02:15 PM
I want to be rich :cry:
I know mate, but its not so easy for me either :lol:
LOL
Just try being really happy with your life, that usually causes a chick to come swanning in and ruin it all for you.
(Misanthropic, me??)
sharriso74
24-02-06, 02:19 PM
:winner:
I want to be rich :cry:
I know mate, but its not so easy for me either :lol:
Trust me money aint everything - just make sure your leathers are tight!
As for kilts the guys don't need them they are fine as they are they just haven't met a good bad women yet! :roll:
Anonymous
27-02-06, 02:00 PM
and a dash of rohypnol
That's honestly a bit out of order Keith, joking aside.
,
even if the post is quite evidently a joke?
'fraid so Keith IMO. I'm not convinced that humour is justifiable for something like that.
.
Jonboy - you think that post was bad?
take a looky at these:
These are TOTALLY GENUINE posters designed by the guys who do marketing for the NHS to try and create awareness for the new HELP campaign...
http://upload3.postimage.org/11086/cancer.jpg (http://upload3.postimage.org/11086/photo_hosting.html)
http://upload3.postimage.org/11081/abuse3.jpg (http://upload3.postimage.org/11081/photo_hosting.html)
:shock: :shock:
philipMac
27-02-06, 08:17 PM
Jonboy - you think that post was bad?
take a looky at these:
These are TOTALLY GENUINE posters designed by the guys who do marketing for the NHS to try and create awareness for the new HELP campaign...
:lol: Classic stuff. Dont believe they are real though...
Having said that, I know that the BHS came up with some adverts in the 70s that were supposed to ring bells with schizophrenics, and let them know that they have the disease. However, these adverts ended up being so disturbing that they were never shown. (And, Doves found this footage, and used it in one of their videos :) )
I am personally quite drawn to the new weight loss craze: Ayds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4msd47S0LQ&search=pill
Sid Squid
27-02-06, 09:27 PM
Having said that, I know that the BHS came up with some adverts in the 70s that were supposed to ring bells with schizophrenics...
Why were British Home Stores making ads for schizophrenics?
I'm confused :? (I know, I know - nothing new).
Well Oiled
27-02-06, 09:38 PM
Having said that, I know that the BHS came up with some adverts in the 70s that were supposed to ring bells with schizophrenics...
Why were British Home Stores making ads for schizophrenics?
I'm confused :? (I know, I know - nothing new).
Simple: Two personalities = two tastes in clothes, furnishings etc. Appeal to both sides and double your sales :P
getting back to the subject. :?
being able to dance or at least hold time does it for me :oops:
you would think by that that i'm not fussy, but in reality a bloke with rhythum is very hard to find :cry:
philipMac
27-02-06, 10:22 PM
Having said that, I know that the BHS came up with some adverts in the 70s that were supposed to ring bells with schizophrenics...
Why were British Home Stores making ads for schizophrenics?
I'm confused :? (I know, I know - nothing new).
Ha ha. Bugger. That would be me not being from the UK.
Your health service. I just thought, British Health Service, BHS, rings a bell, lash it in there.
I am a muppet. What can I say. Probably no one will notice out here, given their president cannot wave and ride a bike at the same time. :oops:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4756054.stm
When you talk to girls do more listening than talking. That does the trick. Ladies want guys to listen to them. That makes them feel good. You'll feel good as a by product but you'll have to be patient and "understanding" :)
Wise words from an old git :)
fizzwheel
28-02-06, 12:05 AM
The best way to impress a girl is not to try and impress them, just be yourself, if you try to be anything else you just end up looking like a d*ckhead.
northwind
28-02-06, 12:09 AM
But what if you are a d*ckhead? Could I not at least pretend to just be an a*seh*le?
fizzwheel
28-02-06, 12:11 AM
But what if you are a d*ckhead? Could I not at least pretend to just be an a*seh*le?
You could try that I cant guarantee you'll get results though, but maybe it would work. You should try it an post up how you get on :lol:
philipMac
28-02-06, 12:12 AM
The best way to impress a girl is not to try and impress them, just be yourself, if you try to be anything else you just end up looking like a d*ckhead.
Which is all very well. But, say if you are a ********.
Where does that leave you?
Then you have to try and be someone else. Some one witty and charming and avant garde.
Like Morrissey.
And Just hope they dont notice.
Ah no, seriously, girls only care about one thing: are you going out with someone.
If you are, then you are hot stuff. If you are not, then you are a social retard loser.
However, if you are going out with someon, and you would do the bold thing with them, then they realise they have just dodged a bullet. And are better off without scum like you.
So, this leaves you with...
older married women. :twisted:
philipMac
28-02-06, 12:19 AM
But what if you are a d*ckhead? Could I not at least pretend to just be an a*seh*le?
Bleeding northwind with his rapid responses. You GMTers should be all off in bed now and I should have full reign of the sv650.org forums. To myself. :P
vBulletin® , Copyright ©2000-2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.