Log in

View Full Version : IT joke....


Stingo
07-03-06, 07:57 AM
Apologies if this has been posted before...

IT CUSTOMER SERVICES

Dear IT Support

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2 which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try to run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 2.0 and Playboy 6.1. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware beta-programme, PartyGirl 2.1 which I tried had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 and Girlfriend 2.1 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiancé 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to because, whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all of my available resources, it comes bundled with FreeSex Plus, Cleanhouse 2000 and WashUp XP. Shortly after this upgrade however, I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run; for example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0’s memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-Mail Pornfilter and can, without warning launch PhotoStrop and WhingeZip! These latter products have no help files and I have to try and guess what the problem is myself. Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShopBrowser for new attachments and also HairstyleExpress which needs to be re-installed every other week.

Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that also drain my resources; it also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT programme it often crashes or runs the system dry. Furthermore, Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can’t be turned off. Recently I have attempted to install Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, as a friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it tends to delete all the MSMoney files before permanently un-installing itself!

Any ideas to assist me with these software problems?

mysteryjimbo
07-03-06, 08:16 AM
grooooannnn

how many more? :lol:

philipMac
07-03-06, 05:50 PM
Here, I have a good IT joke.
This one is a classic.


Ok, here goes, ahem:

The Windows Operating System.




Thank you, thank you. I am here all week.

mysteryjimbo
07-03-06, 06:26 PM
Here, I have a good IT joke.
This one is a classic.


Ok, here goes, ahem:

The Windows Operating System.




Thank you, thank you. I am here all week.

Another.... Mac OS X

http://software.silicon.com/security/0,39024655,39157023,00.htm

Microsoft just publishes

Filipe M.
07-03-06, 06:35 PM
Here, I have a good IT joke.
This one is a classic.


Ok, here goes, ahem:

The Windows Operating System.




Thank you, thank you. I am here all week.

Another.... Mac OS X

http://software.silicon.com/security/0,39024655,39157023,00.htm

Microsoft just publishes


Oops... so much for the "unbreakable OS"... :?

philipMac
07-03-06, 06:40 PM
Here, I have a good IT joke.
This one is a classic.


Ok, here goes, ahem:

The Windows Operating System.




Thank you, thank you. I am here all week.

Another.... Mac OS X

http://software.silicon.com/security/0,39024655,39157023,00.htm

Microsoft just publishes

I am not a big fan of Mac OSX, and i dont use it when possible. But, it is a UNIX OS, and it is a real OS. The GUI is not as great as everyone goes on with though.

No OS is perfect, and I wouldnt take any swipes at OSX, but thats just me. (Even though there are a couple of really annoying parts to OSX. ie, standard carraige returns???)

valleyboy
07-03-06, 06:46 PM
No matter how many times I read that.. I still chuckle! :lol:

mysteryjimbo
07-03-06, 07:48 PM
Here, I have a good IT joke.
This one is a classic.


Ok, here goes, ahem:

The Windows Operating System.




Thank you, thank you. I am here all week.

Another.... Mac OS X

http://software.silicon.com/security/0,39024655,39157023,00.htm

Microsoft just publishes

I am not a big fan of Mac OSX, and i dont use it when possible. But, it is a UNIX OS, and it is a real OS. The GUI is not as great as everyone goes on with though.

No OS is perfect, and I wouldnt take any swipes at OSX, but thats just me. (Even though there are a couple of really annoying parts to OSX. ie, standard carraige returns???)

Microsoft is just the easy target for the jabs then..... :wink: :lol:

Vista is the future! :lol:

philipMac
07-03-06, 08:05 PM
Microsoft is just the easy target for the jabs then..... :wink: :lol:

Vista is the future! :lol:

Thats because its really bad. DOS is a really really poor OS. Every OS MS has come out with has been poor. OSX (Mach) is a far better OS than DOS, I just dont like the GUI.

I see no reason why Vista will not be poor too.

Linux, (say Ubuntu for desktop) is a superior OS to Vista. (Whenever they actually release it for real.)

Whether or not people use it is another question. If people at least know there is something vastly better out there, this is a good thing I think.

philipMac
07-03-06, 08:18 PM
I should be clearer.
There are operating systems.
And there is how easy, or usable that OS is... there are interfaces to the OS.

Windows is (IMO) a very good interface. I think it might (just) be the best one, on average.
BUT, the OS itself, the actual bits that look after the computer, this is bad. Really really bad.

MacOSX is a good interface. (I just dont like it). The actual OS, is good also.

Linux is also a good OS. On average though, its less usable then Windows. But, at this point in time, its only slightly less usable. And, with practice it becomes far more usable than windows, or OSX. (Depending on what you are using if for.)

You have to separate the OS with the interface in your head.

Say_Cheese
09-03-06, 12:42 AM
I run Mac OS X on my new intel iMac and I run Win XP on my Laptop. That way I get the best of both worlds.

Oh and on the IT Jokes............

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

philipMac
09-03-06, 03:00 AM
I run Mac OS X on my new intel iMac and I run Win XP on my Laptop. That way I get the best of both worlds.

Oh and on the IT Jokes............

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Oh really? Hows that working out for you then? What is actually the chip in those boxes then? Special secret chip only for apples?

No, I mean, its totally horses for courses. If you get the Mac interface, cool and the gang. If you get the Windows interface... ehhh, ok. Its a really good GUI. Its just all the other bits that suck horribley.

People know that Windows is not secure, and is a liability. They see that the machine just gets slower and slower. But, the problem is, they think the only option is Mac OSX.

And, its not.
Just lash Ubuntu onto your laptop/desktop, and its perfect. **** easy to install it, admin it. People think that you have to be super nerdy to deal with Linux, and its not really true.
At the same time, they are patching the living crap out of a windows box, running all sorts of virus checkers, spyware checkers, and maybe root kit removers.
All of this is not needed at the moment with Linux. Once in a while, I get a little red
:!: in the corner, I click, and it updates the machine for a second. Thats it. Thats as nerdy as I have to get with my desktop / laptop.

mysteryjimbo
09-03-06, 08:08 AM
And, its not.
Just lash Ubuntu onto your laptop/desktop, and its perfect. p*ss easy to install it, admin it. People think that you have to be super nerdy to deal with Linux, and its not really true.
At the same time, they are patching the living crap out of a windows box, running all sorts of virus checkers, spyware checkers, and maybe root kit removers.
All of this is not needed at the moment with Linux. Once in a while, I get a little red
:!: in the corner, I click, and it updates the machine for a second. Thats it. Thats as nerdy as I have to get with my desktop / laptop.

Actually, i've got Ubuntu at home. They sent me the installation disks (eventually :lol: ). I might get round to installing it soon as i'm starting to move away from my PC games a little.

If they produced games for Linux i'd probably switch without hesitation.

philipMac
09-03-06, 03:26 PM
If they produced games for Linux i'd probably switch without hesitation.

Ahh. Yes. Games. I always forget about Linux games being poor :oops: