Vasectomy

[The Mass]

Don't do it!

EOM

:crutches:

[Mr Toad]

not got the "pair of aubergines the day after syndrome" have you :lol:

[Razor]

*Crosses legs*
No chance of that nobody touches the twins but specially invited guests!

[timwilky]

get this missus done, it is less traumatic

[Ed]

best 2cms of my anatomy I ever lost, no regrets whatsoever :D

[Cloggsy]

best 2cms of my anatomy I ever lost, no regrets whatsoever :D

Ditto mate, ditto... Otherwise my missus would have had an army :roll:

[Anonymous]

Erm... perhaps its just me.. but surely its FAR easier just to use condoms (or pull out and spray it ove...... :oops:) rather than have your nads fiddled with by some sadistic surgeon??!? :shock: :?

[The Mass]

Sore...very sore, and this is a whole week later.


Riddle with pain on Sunday, sat in casualty for 5 hours, as the erm...
Don't read any further if you are going to boff.

Stitches starting to bleed. I have a bulge of skin on one side where the stitches are pulled waaaay too tight.
My plums are all the colours of the rainbow, and my only pain releif was when the lovely female nurse gave me some fantastic drugs to ease the pain for a couple of hours.

Over this period of 7 days, I have had more women look at my nadgers than ever before..sounds fantastic don't it? but not when your balls look like a sack of rotten spuds and your "lad" is looking sorry for himself. :cry:

And just my luck that the weather has turned nice this week, and I have to resort to using the four wheeled vehicle...bugga :roll:

[Cloggsy]

Sore...very sore, and this is a whole week later.

Richie1743 was out riding the day after him Op :!: :shock:

[Mr Toad]

Try a 'sports support' or whatever they call jockstraps these days
I had similar problems - never realised the damn things could be so heavy :shock:

[The Mass]

Mate, beleive me...

I felt every snip, pull, drag, and feel. I near passed out with the pain.
And pull...jeeeeses me, I thought he'd caught a 20lb fish.

on a 1 to 10 of pain it went like this.

Walk in to Operating theatre - 2/10 :?
Sit on bed pull your kecks down - 3/10 :oops:
Doc wipes your bits with some funny fluid 3/10 :shock:
Doc has a good feel of your plums 4/10 :oops:
Doc pulls on your nadger strings 11/10 :sick:
Doc inserts needle in plum area 12/10
You see the glint of light off the scalpel 12/10 :shock: :shock:
Doc cuts your sack 5/10
Doc pulls even harder now that he has your nadger strings 20/10 :shock: :sick:
Mass near passes out with pain (Slight releif maybe)
Doc does first side and throws a few knots in your sack 6/10 :?
Doc then tells you he has to repeat above on other side 10 /10:shock: :shock: :shock:
Repeat above procedure.

Mass lays on table going greener by the second 20/10
Nurse gets concerned and tilts table down so that blood goes to my head.

Mass gets up very sore, and wife standing at door with coat. :oops:

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

7 days later, bruised ego, and very bruised and sore plums.
Ibuprofen has not effect, neither does paracetamol..

[Cloggsy]

Mate, beleive me...

I felt every snip, pull, drag, and feel. I near passed out with the pain.
And pull...jeeeeses me, I thought he'd caught a 20lb fish.

on a 1 to 10 of pain it went like this.

Walk in to Operating theatre - 2/10 :?
Sit on bed pull your kecks down - 3/10 :oops:
Doc wipes your bits with some funny fluid 3/10 :shock:
Doc has a good feel of your plums 4/10 :oops:
Doc pulls on your nadger strings 11/10 :sick:
Doc inserts needle in plum area 12/10
You see the glint of light off the scalpel 12/10 :shock: :shock:
Doc cuts your sack 5/10
Doc pulls even harder now that he has your nadger strings 20/10 :shock: :sick:
Mass near passes out with pain (Slight releif maybe)
Doc does first side and throws a few knots in your sack 6/10 :?
Doc then tells you he has to repeat above on other side 10 /10:shock: :shock: :shock:
Repeat above procedure.

Mass lays on table going greener by the second 20/10
Nurse gets concerned and tilts table down so that blood goes to my head.

Mass gets up very sore, and wife standing at door with coat. :oops:

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

7 days later, bruised ego, and very bruised and sore plums.
Ibuprofen has not effect, neither does paracetamol..

Brings back all the memories :shock:

Reading that caused me to laugh outloud and have major 'nad shrinkage :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Anonymous]

DUDE ITS JUST WRONG! WRONG I TELL YOU!

:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

Cloggsy - that made you LAUGH! It made my balls hurt, and me feel exceptionally ill.

:shock:

[Jelster]

That's it... I was due in in a couple of weeks... Not any more :sick:

,

[Cloggsy]

Cloggsy - that made you LAUGH! It made my balls hurt, and me feel exceptionally ill.

You have to have one to know what he's talkin' about :!: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[T0mm0]

Sorry hear about your discomfort.

I had it done a short while ago and couldn't believe the amount of fuss some people make over it. :o

I must have been one of the lucky ones :D

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

[Mogs]

True you have to experience it to fully appreciate how funny it is.

I'll go to wipe the tears from my eyes, No pain killers work but copious amount of whiskey does.

[Mr Toad]

I found it wasn't too bad :^o

I was 'done' with about half a dozen other blokes - all prepared & sat on hospital beds, and were then wheeled one by one down the corridor, returning about 10 mins later looking a bit groggy.

The worst bit was when the surgeon had finished - "I'm just going to spray you with some antiseptic - it might sting a bit". Too bloody right it did :hackedoff:
As I was wheeled back into the waiting area, tears streaming from my eyes, I said to the next bloke "Don't let him spray you". 10 mins later he was back saying "you were right"

The Chinese have apparently developed a variation, whereby they inject something like superglue into the tube to plug it. A lot less invasive by all accounts

[thor]

Owwwww!!!!


Hoping you feel better soon!

[cuffy]

OOhhh me sides :lol: :lol:
I guess i must've been lucky when i had mine done, no pain, no discomfort.
Had it done on a Tuesday and played rugby on the Saturday. :D

I did milk the pain side of it when i got home so i could get waited on hand n foot :wink:

[Ward8124]

Owwwww!!!!


Hoping you feel better soon!

:stupid:

What he said!!! Im holding me nuts just thinking about it!

[tricky]

Mate, beleive me...

I felt every snip, pull, drag, and feel. I near passed out with the pain.
And pull...jeeeeses me, I thought he'd caught a 20lb fish.

on a 1 to 10 of pain it went like this.

Walk in to Operating theatre - 2/10 :?
Sit on bed pull your kecks down - 3/10 :oops:
Doc wipes your bits with some funny fluid 3/10 :shock:
Doc has a good feel of your plums 4/10 :oops:
Doc pulls on your nadger strings 11/10 :sick:
Doc inserts needle in plum area 12/10
You see the glint of light off the scalpel 12/10 :shock: :shock:
Doc cuts your sack 5/10
Doc pulls even harder now that he has your nadger strings 20/10 :shock: :sick:
Mass near passes out with pain (Slight releif maybe)
Doc does first side and throws a few knots in your sack 6/10 :?
Doc then tells you he has to repeat above on other side 10 /10:shock: :shock: :shock:
Repeat above procedure.

Mass lays on table going greener by the second 20/10
Nurse gets concerned and tilts table down so that blood goes to my head.

Mass gets up very sore, and wife standing at door with coat. :oops:

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

7 days later, bruised ego, and very bruised and sore plums.
Ibuprofen has not effect, neither does paracetamol..

Reading that made mine retract to just below my ribcage :D
Mate of mine had his done in his lunch break :shock:

[Lou M]

Are us girls allowed to join in on this?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[sharriso74]

Are us girls allowed to join in on this?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


As long as you promise not to laugh :shock:

[Ping]

... Or we could relate stories about our last smear tests...

[Ward8124]

... Or we could relate stories about our last smear tests...

I've just lost my lunch. :sick:

[Lou M]

But promise not to say that child birth is worse - ahh too late!

[Ping]

... Or we could relate stories about our last smear tests...

I've just lost my lunch. :sick:
Reading about vasectomies and blokes talking about their plums is SO much better?... :lol:

[Ward8124]

... Or we could relate stories about our last smear tests...

I've just lost my lunch. :sick:
Reading about vasectomies and blokes talking about their plums is SO much better?... :lol:

Alas this is true but your comment was the last straw that broke the camels back! :lol:

[Ping]

... Or we could relate stories about our last smear tests...

I've just lost my lunch. :sick:
Reading about vasectomies and blokes talking about their plums is SO much better?... :lol:

Alas this is true but your comment was the last straw that broke the camels back! :lol:
**KSSSSHT!!** Rogue Leader to Base, Rogue Leader to Base... Mission successful, returning home... repeat, mission success, returning home. Over. **KSSSSHT!**
;)

[Lou M]

Funniest thread I've read in ages. :lol:


Sadist Nutty x

[Filipe M.]

Funniest thread I've read in ages. :lol:


Sadist Nutty x

No it isn't!!! :sick:

[Anonymous]

Cloggsy - that made you LAUGH! It made my balls hurt, and me feel exceptionally ill.

You have to have one to know what he's talkin' about :!: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Id rather not to be honest Cloggsy. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Besides, i dont really have a requirement for it.. :wink:

See!

[sharriso74]

http://upload3.postimage.org/177181/300px_Plums.jpg (http://upload3.postimage.org/177181/photo_hosting.html)

[Ward8124]

http://upload3.postimage.org/177181/300px_Plums.jpg (http://upload3.postimage.org/177181/photo_hosting.html)


Nice plums mate ;)

[tinpants]

Mate, beleive me...

I felt every snip, pull, drag, and feel. I near passed out with the pain.
And pull...jeeeeses me, I thought he'd caught a 20lb fish.

on a 1 to 10 of pain it went like this.

Walk in to Operating theatre - 2/10 :?
Sit on bed pull your kecks down - 3/10 :oops:
Doc wipes your bits with some funny fluid 3/10 :shock:
Doc has a good feel of your plums 4/10 :oops:
Doc pulls on your nadger strings 11/10 :sick:
Doc inserts needle in plum area 12/10
You see the glint of light off the scalpel 12/10 :shock: :shock:
Doc cuts your sack 5/10
Doc pulls even harder now that he has your nadger strings 20/10 :shock: :sick:
Mass near passes out with pain (Slight releif maybe)
Doc does first side and throws a few knots in your sack 6/10 :?
Doc then tells you he has to repeat above on other side 10 /10:shock: :shock: :shock:
Repeat above procedure.

Mass lays on table going greener by the second 20/10
Nurse gets concerned and tilts table down so that blood goes to my head.

Mass gets up very sore, and wife standing at door with coat. :oops:

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

7 days later, bruised ego, and very bruised and sore plums.
Ibuprofen has not effect, neither does paracetamol..

Jeez!! I haven't laughed so much in ages. Bought back memories though :shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Anonymous]

http://upload3.postimage.org/177181/300px_Plums.jpg (http://upload3.postimage.org/177181/photo_hosting.html)

ROFL!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Classic.. cracked me up!

[tinpants]

But promise not to say that child birth is worse - ahh too late!


Utter bollix! (no pun intended) If it was that difficult a bloke would have to do it! :roll: :-dd




* runs and hides from Ping and Nutty * :shock: :lol:

[dirtydog]

all i can say is bo*$*cks to having that done!!!


:lol: :lol:

[Ping]

But promise not to say that child birth is worse - ahh too late!


Utter bollix! (no pun intended) If it was that difficult a bloke would have to do it! :roll: :-dd




* runs and hides from Ping and Nutty * :shock: :lol:
You can run but you can't hide.

Anyhoo, back to plums...

[falc]

Ow ow ow, hope you get better soon Mass and maybe get a gel seat for your bike :shock:

[The Mass]

Nope more like this:

http://www.paddysworld.co.uk/Files/Videos/BusterGonad.mpeg


Sorry!

I'll get me coat........ If I could reach the peg wihout the gravitational pull of my plums.

[tricky]

Nope more like this:

http://www.paddysworld.co.uk/Files/Videos/BusterGonad.mpeg


Sorry!

I'll get me coat........ If I could reach the peg wihout the gravitational pull of my plums.

:shock: :sick: :shock: :sick: :shock: :sick: :shock: :sick:

[Lou M]

Ha ha, nah Child birth is a doddle.

it's the next 18 years that kills you.

What you poor men have to suffer :roll:

:lol: :lol:

[BILLY]

Had it done 10 years ago I was back at work the next day :!: (we are tough up north you know!!!!!

[BILLY]

Buy the way i'm a manual worker. Just think of the money you will have to spend on you bike when the kids are grown up and left home!!!

[Akula]

I dunno whats wrong with you, i had mine done about 3 years ago.

Went in chat to the quack, told me about the procedure. :shock:
Got my kit off. :roll:
Into Operating theater (very cold theater)
Led down
Asked the quack if i could watch. Sat up but not to far as it pulls ur nads up.. 8)
A startled surprise of "ermmm very unusual, but yes if u want" :shock:
needle (ouch)
Sat back and watched him pull the tubes out 8)
one by one slice the tubesdown the middle 8)
Had what was like a soldering iron and burnt (melted) the tubes. Smelt like ermm burning flesh i spose. 8)
Sew up

Job done

Bobs your uncle fannys ur aunt done.

Theater was a tad chilly tho could have been a tad embarresing :oops:


No probs after either, just put a tight pair of the wifes undies on to keep ma plums tightly packaged. :oops: 8)

[Anonymous]

Looked at growing family and dwindling income.
Went to Doctor who explained procedure.
Watched video.
Spoke with two friends who described the pain.
Discussed with wife.
Had next-door neighbour done instead.

[BILLY]

They did supply a jock strap for support!!!!!!!!!!!

[Well Oiled]

No pain in the snip for me, apart from when they stuck the needle in to freeze 'em in the first place :x . Only bad things during the op were the snippety snip sounds and the smell when they cauterised the ends :sick:

Everyone at the clinic where I was done had a couple of sample jars ( :toss: ) and a set of instructions in a carrier bag with the name of some medical company on it. Might as well have said 'I've just been snipped' in big letters as everyone sniggered at the poor blokes walking very gingerly back through the waiting room every 15 mins, bag in hand (carrier bag that is). :laughat:

Cheers Keith

[the_runt69]

Had no trouble with the op until they sprayed the antiseptic on at the end, god that stuff stings like hell thought someone was holding a lighter under me nuts. Got home and son was just under waist high and managed to run into them about twice a day. Found that cool salt water baths helped the healing process as well.
H

[BILLY]

When I turned up a the hospital for the opp the nurse said I hope you remembered to shave (Ididn't) I thought wayhay she's going to do it for me , she just handed me a razor and directed me to the cubical (damm)

[the_runt69]

Shaved before I arrived but the nurse still had to cut the bush back a lttle. Didnt like the way the razor when a bit close to the Od chap at all. Forgot the other agro of growing the old pubes back, it itches like ****.
H

[BILLY]

Just keep it shaved no itching!!!!!

[Warthog]

wow so loads of people have had it done?! I didn't realise that. It seems like it totally depends on what doctor and a lot of luck.

[Well Oiled]

wow so loads of people have had it done?! I didn't realise that. It seems like it totally depends on what doctor and a lot of luck.

..........and whether or not you're a big softy.

Surprise no-one's chipped in with the old 'Here doc, can you take away the pain but leave the swelling?' gem in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Here doc, can you take away the pain but leave the swelling?

:wink: :lol: