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cuffy
03-05-06, 08:32 AM
After long months of cold & winter, we are finally coming up to summer
& BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on
the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type
of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element
of danger involved.


When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events
are put into motion:


Routine...


1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, & makes
dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray
along with the necessary cooking utensils & sauces, & takes it to
the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.


Here comes the important part:


4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.


More routine....


5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates & cutlery.

6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her & asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with
the situation.


Important again:


7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL & HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.


More routine.....

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces & brings them to the table.

9) After eating, the woman clears the table & does the dishes.


And most important of all:


10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN & THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And,
upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no
pleasing some women....

jim@55
03-05-06, 08:51 AM
very true :lol: :lol:

Warthog
03-05-06, 09:11 AM
hahaha, I do beleive I turn over the meat as well at some point, its not as easy as it sounds! :P

the_runt69
03-05-06, 09:59 AM
I do the shopping prepare the salad then prepare the meat and cook it. cant leave that up to the wife otherwise we get finely chopped bits instead of the thick tasty bits of meat us men are used to.

H

and i very rarely burn anything either

Ping
03-05-06, 10:21 AM
mmmm, i love bbq-ing... :D

As bbq's have been our family tradition since I was a kid (we lived in Canada and were known to bbq in all weathers :lol:), in my house I do the flaming or it gets burnt.

I'm great, me. 8)

:lol:

Ceri JC
03-05-06, 10:28 AM
You forgot steps -2, -1 and 0...


-2. Man douses charcoal in lighter fluid and sets alight to it, nearly sustaining second degree burns in the process.
-1. Man prods the flaming charcoal with his wife's best fish slice for 10 minutes, as thought this will in any way speed up the "heating up of the fire".
0. Man gets bored of waiting and puts calls to his wife that the barbeque is "ready".

Don't downplay our role! :D

Moo
03-05-06, 04:51 PM
true only you need a few more beers adding in. :lol:

Razor
03-05-06, 05:08 PM
And the last step?

Everybody who ate the undercooked chicken, burgers and sausages gets the next day off work with the squirts!

BILLY
03-05-06, 06:40 PM
And the last step?

Everybody who ate the undercooked chicken, burgers and sausages gets the next day off work with the squirts! My wife has banned me from cooking on the BBQ for that same reason :lol: :lol:

BILLY
03-05-06, 06:41 PM
So I do all of the preperation and cleaning up afterwards and she drinks all my beer!!!!!!!!!!!!

Richie
03-05-06, 07:22 PM
I never cook at the BBQ.. I always ask a budding lower rank to show off there Culinary Skills.... as I'm far to busy getting the drinks passed round for everyone....( Kids paddleing pool, filled with cold water + Ice, 3-4 crates of the odvious) and everybody brings there own meat + bottle... Everyone a winner. :wink:

Godikus
03-05-06, 07:35 PM
i had a BBQ on sunday there, and this is how it went.

i done the shopping for it. i got 5 crates of miller, couple of bottles of whiskey, 1 BBQ, 1 Bag of charcholy stuff, and 4 burgers. i invited all my mates round and got them fairly tanked up. Then i build the BBQ, put the litle black firey rocks in it, and soaked them in petrol (freshly syphoned from the SV) We spent the next 20 minuts trying to keep the bugger lit. put the 4 burgers on the grill... and phoned a take away


Was the best BBQ i've ever had.

Professor
03-05-06, 08:02 PM
I am writing on behalf of Mrs Professor who has read the original post
and approved all points except 11: she always praises me at the end.

Anonymous
03-05-06, 08:33 PM
I am writing on behalf of Mrs Professor who has read the original post
and approved all points except 11: she always praises me at the end.

Prof, this thread was about barbecuing :wink:


:lol: :lol:

madmal
03-05-06, 09:31 PM
And the last step?

Everybody who ate the undercooked chicken, burgers and sausages gets the next day off work with the squirts!

lmao :D

TEL
03-05-06, 09:41 PM
Too close to the truth for my liking...... :shock: :D