Famous Last Words

[Lissa]

As the 'Things They Would Never Say' thread has had me laughing out loud many times, I thought I'd see what you clever lot can come up with for this thread.

As the title suggests, it's famous last words that people in history might have come out with.

For example..

Captain of the Titanic 'Full speed ahead and f*ck the icebergs'

Pharoah at the Red Sea 'Sod the bridge, let's take the short cut'


Well, it's over to you!

[Supervox]

Jesus Christ - "What a way to spend Easter !!"

[Biker Biggles]

Spike Milligan---"I told you I was ill"

Robert Maxwell---"Is this the deep end?"

General Paton---"I'd rather have a German division in front of me than two French ones backing me up"

Me---"So they were out to get me"

[Dicky Ticker]

Mary to Joseph " But honest I'm still a virgin"

Emperor of Japan " What the F**K was that big bang"

[northwind]

"Sod the sledge, I wish I had more money"

[pegasus]

Captain of the titanic -------- "who let her drive?"

[pegasus]

marc bolan -------- "what tree!!!"

[Dicky Ticker]

Never has so much been owed by so many to so few My Bank Manager

[Lissa]

General Custer 'There are no indians around here'


Goliath 'What a short @rse! This'll be easy!'

[pegasus]

jesus ------ "see you judas you're getting on my t*ts"

[***Steve***]

"Sod the sledge, I wish I had more money"

:lol:

"Sorry Ilsa luv, I've only got enough frequent flyer miles for me and Laszlo."

[Red ones]

The guy in the white van infront of me this morning, "Ah, this speed camera never works" :lol: :lol:

[Sudoxe]

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900

[UlsterSV]

'Ah, one more won't hurt."

George Best.

[Biker Biggles]

This Poll Tax lark,they will come round to it you know.-----Maggie Thatcher.

[Balky001]

'just a quick game on the lawn, what harm can come of it?' John Prescott

''there's only one team that can win it now, England' - Kev

[Jdubya]

"I'm sure courtenay emptied this on the rage yesterday..." Curt Cobain

[UlsterSV]

"That new diet plan has worked wonders."

Bobby Sands.

:laughat: :toss:

[Peter Henry]

"I tell you when I sit down with Mr. The BIG I AM Honda,he'll sh+t his pants!" Max Biaggi.

"Do you know who I am? They'd never hit me with a penalty over a little thing like that." Schumey.

"Bullet proof car my ass, get that top down Jackie let the good folks of Texas see how handsome I am." JFK.

"There is no way your a Police officer." George Michael.

[Biker Biggles]

I'm going out now.If I'm longer than two minutes come and rescue me---Lieutenant Oates.


One less mouth to feed.----Captain Scott.


How was I supposed to know they would'nt like us----G Bush.


G Bush? Never heard of him.----T Blair.

[Peter Henry]

"Hell's fire if only I had squeezed that zit when I first saw it! Elephant Man.

"Ha I could ride this bike down these lanes with my eyes shut." Lawrence of Arabia.

"You wouldn't dare!" Julius Caeser.

"Oh look,there's a golf course." Graham Hill.

"An ice pick? Great idea, break a couple of pieces off for my vodka will you? Leon Trotsky.

"That was a salt tablet, right?" Adolf Hitler.

"hee,heee,hee those dumb American f+ckwits will never think of looking in here." Sadam Husein.

[Jdubya]

"sorry dear...the machine in the toilets doesnt have any more condoms left but you're still on the pill aren't you" - .................(insert name)

[Peter Henry]

"What a view, from here it seems like I could reach out and touch the waves."Phuket holiday maker.

"Wouldn't it be great if we didn't have to trudge all the way up the valley to fetch a bit of coal?" Aberffan resident.

"You carry on with what your doing lass,this copper won't bother us." Peter Sutcliffe.

[UlsterSV]

"You sure this plane's safe?"

Buddy Holly.

[Quiff Wichard]

pete - u need to work more...!!!









"these bloody papparazzi will kill someone one day " .... Diana

" So I told the accountant he can look at whatever he wants I arent bovvered".. Nick leeson


" whoooo this car will be the death of me" james Dean


" I amj ust of for a small ride babe" >>>>> me tomoz at 3pm. on way to the north meets south .. and not back til Monday ...( she knows she knows )




" snot far is it 26 milometres/?"- jade goody

[philipMac]

"I do not have to forgive my enemies. I have had them all shot."

General Ramon.

"I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used."
Dominique Bouhours,

"And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you're about to see another first--an attempted suicide."
Chris Hubbock,

"Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here."
Nostradamus

[Quiff Wichard]

" yea a nice tattoo of a butterfly on me ass please--- whatever you do I dont want a dragon ! ......... anon

[Peter Henry]

"Right next lap I'm gonna floor it." Ayrton Senna.

[Quiff Wichard]

"Ok... lets give it some beans and se if this thing can really take off "......



Donald Campbell

[Peter Henry]

"There's no way Joe is sharing my sleeping bag!" Quiff.

"I know, I'll buy a BBQ and cook dinner. I'll show her...useless? Tut!" Ed.

"It would be impossible for any airliner to hit the Twin Tower Buildings. NYPA Official.

"My boy Rossi will p+ss it, just like he did last year." Supervox.

"I'm getting dead good at this bike fixing game me." Quiff.

"Who said to jump this distance on a bike was impossible.....whoa...whooooaaaa." Evel Knievel.

[Lissa]

" yea a nice tattoo of a butterfly on me ass please--- whatever you do I dont want a dragon ! ......... anon

:D :D :D :D

[Peter Henry]

"We'll go over there, slap a few heads and be home before the end of the month." George Bush.

"Im sick of carrying these guys,I'll show them when I go solo." Gary Barlow.

"Why would anyone object to me staying in this gaff?" John Prescott.

"Go on then Mike I'll just have a tenner on Red Rum,that's my lot though." Wayne Rooney.

[pingu]

'How's the signal now?' Rod Hull

[sharriso74]

"I don't need a prenup" Paul Macartney

[Peter Henry]

"Elvis you still in there? We got confirmation of your european gig dates." Graceland aide.

"I love NY here I can walk around and no-one ever bothers me."John Lennon.

"Riding round a loop circuit,is a piece of p*ss compared to what I am used to." Barry Sheene.

"For the last time,if you don't take your hand out of my ass i'm gonna throw you off this roof." Emu.

[tricky]

"What a view, from here it seems like I could reach out and touch the waves."Phuket holiday maker.

"Wouldn't it be great if we didn't have to trudge all the way up the valley to fetch a bit of coal?" Aberffan resident.

"You carry on with what your doing lass,this copper won't bother us." Peter Sutcliffe.

[-X Bit close to the knuckle there Peter :wink:

[Peter Henry]

"We have never lost one penny." Brinks Matt security chief.

"I'll offer to do a few free shows, no way they'll put me inside." Gary Glitter.

"The C5 will change the world of commuting as we now know it." Clive Sinclair.

"These shares are the best, i'm gonna keep hold of them a while longer." Polly Peck investor.

[Mr Toad]

Anonymous ones are some of the best


"Cut the red one"

"Don't shoot . . . it's me"

"Of course it's bulletproof"

"Don't worry, it's not loaded"

"What a cute little baby bear. I wonder where his mother is"

[wyrdness]

A very famous one:

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... " Last words of General John Sedgwick, Battle of Spotsylvania, 1864

[mattSV]

'He'll have some feckers eye out with that in a minute' - King Harold

[Peter Henry]

"Sh+t I think my flask has broken under my jacket." Admiral Nelson.

[Filipe M.]

"Me, me, me!" - GYKD

[wyrdness]

A few more good real ones:

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis - Humphrey Bogart

Channel 5 is all ****, isn't it? Christ, the crap they put on there. It's a waste of space. - Adam Faith (apparently)

Bugger Bognor - King George V

Die my dear, why that's the last thing I'll do - Graucho Marx

One or the other of us has to go - Oscar Wilde (remarking about his wallpaper)

[Biker Biggles]

Any chance of some rum?----Admiral Nelson.

Life means life.---Home Secretary.

[Peter Henry]

"Is that reactor supposed to glow like that?" Chernobyl visitor.

[anna]

"it's alright no one will ever know that i bunked off work today" - Chris Evans

[Mr Toad]

Actually, Baldrick, I'm not dead. You see, I too had a cigarette case ... oh, damn, I must have left it on the dresser.

Prince George (Blackadder)

[Peter Henry]

"He.he just round this last corner and I have the little Italian **** beat." Sete Gibernau.

[Peter Henry]

"Don't worry,it won't smell." Scoobs.

[Law]

"Short back and sides please" - Samson

[Peter Henry]

"I made up a couple of places there, I'm in a great position for this first corner." Marco.

[Balky001]

'Should settle for second or push Rossi in to making a mistake' - Casey Stoner

[Peter Henry]

"The free world will not stand by and watch me be executed." Sadam Husein.

[Peter Henry]

"I'll just show you one of my old break dancing moves." Michael Owen.

[sharriso74]

"We have the best backline in the world" Sven

[Peter Henry]

"I'm dead chuffed like, cos I think I just won us the game." Steven Gerrard

"We're alright Sven it ¡s only a throw in." Steve McClaren.

[Biker Biggles]

If I'd been running the footie team I'd have moved the goalposts ---Tony Blair.

[Peter Henry]

"he,he...a day off, think I'll go for a swift blast on the bike." Hally.

[sharriso74]

"he,he...a day off, think I'll go for a swift blast on the bike." Hally.

"What a nice Volvo behind me"

[Filipe M.]

"he,he...a day off, think I'll go for a swift blast on the bike." Hally.

"What a nice Volvo behind me"

"Oops, that wasn't Viney's Volvo..."

[Peter Henry]

"Listen Hally,just follow my rap beating guidelines to the letter and you will have them thanking you for being a good citizen." Daimo.

[Filipe M.]

"SMIDSY!" - Sete Gibernau

[Jase22]

"England can win the World Cup" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/rugby_union/international/5093852.stm) - Andy Robinson, England RU Head Coach

[sharriso74]

"England can win the World Cup" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/rugby_union/international/5093852.stm) - Andy Robinson, England RU Head Coach

Put me down for some of whatever he's on :toss:

[Peter Henry]

"I think I've got one last good Wimbledon in me." Tim Henman.

[Filipe M.]

"I just need to brake a little bit later and I'll show that Kentucky Kid how a Texan Tornado flies......................" Colin Edwards

[Peter Henry]

"The French side is full of players past their best." Spanish press.

"Ha kentucky knob,in to the gravel,now to just flick around this last corner." Colin Edwards.

"We'll grab one of their boys, they wouldn't dare coming in after him."Palestinian.

"I think I'm a good bet as far as the semi's." Tim Henman.

[BILLY]

Stop throwing those bloody spears at me (Micheal cain zooloo) :lol:

[Biker Biggles]

Phew,what a scorcher.






Joan of Arc.

[Peter Henry]

"I love the theatre."Abraham Lincoln.

[Peter Henry]

"ooh nice one,right in his nuts. Glad the ref didn't see it." Wayne Rooney.

[Peter Henry]

"Watch me burst the net with this f*cker!" Lampard.

[Peter Henry]

"I can't wait to try the new bits,I hope they are as good as the last one's." Nicky Hayden.

[_Stretchie_]

"Oh yeah?!?! What are YOU gonna do about it?" - Captain William Bligh, HMS Bounty

[Biker Biggles]

Ve shall be in Berlin by Sunday-------Jurgan Klinsman

For you Italians ze vorld cup is over.------Jurgan Klinsman.


We'd have beaten either of them-----Sven.

[Peter Henry]

It's ok, I know who my penalty takers will be. Klinsman.

.

[Moo]

"Lets try and make it three Serie A titles in a row" Juventus FC :lol:

[Peter Henry]

Run away from a bull? Peace of p*ss. Foreigner in Pamplona.

[Biker Biggles]

Stitch that.No one's looking-------Zidan

Leave the dosh in a brown envelope under the speaker's chair.---Lord Levy.