Things you should never never do

[Dicky Ticker]

Blow bubbles with your bubble gum/chewing gun while wearing your crash helmet

I know its me but it ain't half hard to get off the inside of the visor and lining :oops:

[carelesschucca]

You shouldn't really be eating it in the first place not when your riding the bike!!! Its a nice choking hazard if you have an off!!!

:rant: I'm off it now!!!

[anna]

.. sneeze whilst riding ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

[Peter Henry]

Pull your visor down when having a cigarette as you ride? :P

[Dicky Ticker]

Quick quick phone the fire brigade-------------------made me chuckle

[Peter Henry]

Sending a text message whilst negotiating a roundabout? :P

[falc]

Take a naughty wee while riding just like in a swimming pool while pulled up next to a stranger in a bmw :shock: :lol:

[Peter Henry]

Wave to someone you know with your right hand when leaned into a bend. :?

[pingu]

Image Rossi is in front and you got him on the next corner!

[Peter Henry]

Attempt to ride any distance cross handed.

[Filipe M.]

Run your front brake lever into Loris Capirossi's bike. In fact, into any bike.

[Filipe M.]

Attempt to ride any distance cross handed.

Peter, that might help counter-steering for the non-believers out there.

edit: forgot to add the "disclaimer": :P :P

[Red ones]

Fart in an all-in-one leather suit

[Peter Henry]

Trump when wearing full leathers as you will get a reminder when undoing them later! :? (So I am told!)

[Peter Henry]

Red ones! Great minds! :P :P

[Filipe M.]

Red ones! Great minds! :P :P

... stink alike. :roll: :wink:

[Peter Henry]

Attempt to remove the cling film wrapping from your sandwich and then to eat your snack when fully kitted up.

Filipe you might be right but there could be soime real dangerous control actions going on![/quote]

[pingu]

f*rt in an all-in-one leather suit

Or subsequently follow through

[Filipe M.]

Attempt to remove the cling film wrapping from your sandwich and then to eat your snack when fully kitted up.

Helmets and gloves too?

[mattSV]

Forget to check your kill switch when your bike won't start :-dd

[Peter Henry]

Attempt to search every pocket when speeding along to check if you brought your handkerchief.

[Stingo]

Try to get your helmet on whilst still wearing your sunglasses. 8)

[Peter Henry]

Try a Valentino type dismount in a crowded biker park if the highest you normally lift your leg is for a stair.

[Filipe M.]

Try to get your helmet on whilst still wearing your sunglasses. 8)

You can do it with some open faced helmets 8)

[Peter Henry]

Sit there red faced when you just stalled at a busy set of traffic lights. Always immediately lean to start looking for a mystical mechanical problem below the tank. :wink:

[Filipe M.]

Sit there red faced when you just stalled at a busy set of traffic lights. Always immediately lean to start looking for a mystical mechanical problem below the tank. :wink:

You're already riding one, Peter... :roll:









:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Peter Henry]

Try to grill a sausage using a toasting fork over the camping stove attached to your petrol tank.

[Jabba]

Cough up/spit out a "grolly" when ridng an ST1300 Pan European.

My mate did this and the vortex caused by the screen caused said "grolly" to be sucked in behind him, whereupon it hit him on the back of the neck between jacket and helmet before sliding slowly down..................

[Conrad Poons]

...Always immediately lean to start looking for a mystical mechanical problem below the tank. :wink:

Glad it's not just me then!!!!!1!!1!!!!!ONE!!!

[Peter Henry]

Never forget to perform a perfectly executed judo roll following a brief tip toe hop on right leg when attempting to ride off with disc lock still in place.

[tricky]

Wipe your runny nose with your gloves whilst riding along and then inadvertantly smear snot all over your visor when closing it again. :oops:

[Peter Henry]

Do not remove the padding of the speed hump on your leathers and use this as a cunningly devised method of carrying home your Indian meal. Those sauces sting!

[Jabba]

Do not use shampoo/conditioner to clean the inside of your anti-fog visor as this will remove the coating :oops:

[Peter Henry]

When going on a cold weather bike weekend,it might be best to advise your friends that you have found wearing ladies tights a perfect answer to your circulation problems.

Rather that than trying to explain yourself later as your all getting ready to kip down.

[Demonz]

Get your left lace stuck in the footpeg whilst hurredly putting the side stand down.

[Balky001]

attempted to do your chin strap up on the move wilthout slowing down - a few lacerations later you decide to pull over anyway

clean the chain whilst the bike is on a paddock stand running in first gear :oops:

[Iansv]

.. sneeze whilst riding ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

Thats why i'm not riding the bike much atm, hayfever really bad this yr :cry:

[Peter Henry]

Never keep both feet on foot pegs when you have come to a full stop at a junction or set of traffic lights.

[mudge32]

Cough up/spit out a "grolly" when ridng an ST1300 Pan European.

My mate did this and the vortex caused by the screen caused said "grolly" to be sucked in behind him, whereupon it hit him on the back of the neck between jacket and helmet before sliding slowly down..................

:shock: I can't get that image out of my mind now :laughat:

[Balky001]

Never keep your visor cracked open at dusk, the little midges get trapped in your lid and make your face swell

[mudge32]

Never try to get a wasp outta yer jacket before you've come to a complete stop :oops:

Damn thing flew through my open visor, right into my Belstaff. I've never moved so quick in my life!! :lol: Luckily it was me 125, so I wasn't too concerned about its slide :roll:

[Peter Henry]

Never try to eat an ice cream cornet with your visor down. :lol:

[tricky]

Deliberately jump hire cars off hump back bridges and then concoct fictitious accident reports as to why the sump is all smashed in and there is about 4 inches of plastic ground away from the bottom of the front bumper.

[Jabba]

clean the chain whilst the bike is on a paddock stand running in first gear :oops:

Is that a case of :thumbsup: ......NOT?

[ArtyLady]

keep trying to kick start a bike without the ignition turned on so in the end you're so exhausted - the kick start shoots you up in the air and you land in a heap with the bike on the floor next to you :oops: :lol: :lol:

[Quedos]

... talk to riding partner with his helmet on so that he leans over forgetting he ain't got his side stand down and proceeds to knocks you off your bike when he loses his balance!! :shock:

Much to the hilarity of the rest of the car park and my bike came of worse than his cos i ain't got crash bungs!!!

[the_runt69]

Tell the wife that someone else was a better lay

H

[Quedos]

Tell the wife that someone else was a better lay

H

ouch!
pls don't tell me you did

[the_runt69]

Nope not that stupid, but know of one bloke that did and one who told his missus that his bit on the side was a better lay.
Very expensive for both of them
H

[Rog]

Watch a shopping channel when you are drunk !!

Ive always wanted a limited edition divers watch. :oops:

[Quedos]

Watch a shopping channel when you are drunk !!

Ive always wanted a limited edition divers watch. :oops:

Tell me about it I'm watching gems tv .com nasty! :oops:

[Peter Henry]

Try to do a stunt in front of a crowd, that you have never even tried before.

[didge]

try and put your bike into gear with the side stand down and wonder why it keeps stalling :roll:

[mac]

Always take your glasses off before you remove your lid (did it the day i got the SV - cost me 300 quid :oops: )

[sharriso74]

Never put your sidestand down on a drain cover in front of a pub :oops:

[tricky]

try and put your bike into gear with the side stand down and wonder why it keeps stalling :roll:

Nope, never done this, not ever :^o

Pulling the clutch in before you put it in first is always a good idea too.

[timwilky]

Follow Mark Davidsons directions to the letter

[Peter Henry]

Never when suffering from a dodgy tum think it a good idea to don several layers of difficult to remove bike gear and head off for a long ride. :?

[Kilted Ginger]

:oops: Never laugh when your mate gets off his brand new Bandit and walks over to you without putting the side stand down :twisted: He didnt see the funny side for a long time :lol:

[sharriso74]

Never laugh at your bride to be a week before your wedding when she dyes her hair and it goes ginger!!!! She still doesn't see the funny side

[Jabba]

When putting up shelves, drill into a wall without first checking where the power leads run.



I guarantee that, provided you survive, you will only do this once :oops:

[creamerybutter]

Never forget to leave the bike in gear whilt it is on a steep drive nose down while you open the back gate. :oops:

[Biker Biggles]

Eat yellow snow.

I love the Grolly in a vortex on a Pan BTW :lol: :lol:

[Quiff Wichard]

Forget to check your kill switch when your bike won't start :-dd




upset a new mate who has already done time for GBH !!!!!! :twisted:

[Peter Henry]

Accept a drink of flat looking cream soda from a known practical joker!

[anna]

try to ride off with sidestand down and wonder why it cuts out!!

[tricky]

Do a handbrake turn on a public road espeacially when there is a police car behind you

[Law]

Walk round your back garden with a realistic looking BB sub-machine gun and pistol.

[amarko5]

take mac over hardknot and wrynose passes on a 200kg tourer on a **** wet day after all the sunshine when the roads are greasy :lol: :lol: :lol:




























mac all said in jest mate I enjoyed it imensely :wink:

[fizzwheel]

Not read amarko's instructions properly when he is warning of a jump in the road.

:oops: :twisted:

[Jelster]

Remeber the instructions that say turn right AT the mini-roundabout, not the junction up the road.... :oops: :oops: :oops:

(bah, it was a decent road none the less!!)

.

[Peter Henry]

Never sit down to watch an England match in the hope that it will be as relaxing an experience as listening to whale music in a darkened room.

[Scooby Drew]

When putting up shelves, drill into a wall without first checking where the power leads run.



I guarantee that, provided you survive, you will only do this once :oops:

Something like a tazering? :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Jabba]

When putting up shelves, drill into a wall without first checking where the power leads run.



I guarantee that, provided you survive, you will only do this once :oops:

Something like a tazering? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Almost............but that wasn't a deliberate act of stupidity, unlike Scoobs' self-tasering :lol: