View Full Version : Spider murderer confesses!
Jon from Bristol
23-06-06, 09:31 PM
Hi all,
Today i sucked up yet another of those pesky spiders in my house, in my good'ol reliable Henry vacuum cleaner. The thing is i think that is the 6th this week. I'm now wondering if i should have just squished them than to submit them to 3000mph winds in the inside of my vac everytime. I am also wondering what happens when i put Henry to bed at night. Do they all meet in the middle of the vac bag and plan an escape? Are they all running around frantically asking everyone and anyone for a paracetamol? Will i pick up the vac pipe tomorrow morning and see them all making a break for it out the brush end?
I used to be a 'get them under a glass' man and throw them out the window, but thats a bit slow and tricky, especially if there fast little blighters.
Spiders would be ok if they didnt leave their messy webs around the place. So if i see a web i just suck it with good 'ol Henry.
I hope this isnt going to turn into an obsession.
Do you think i should get help before this gets worse? Or is this normal behaviour?
Signed. Anon.
http://upload4.postimage.org/464412/spider03.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/464412/photo_hosting.html)
Marshall
23-06-06, 09:38 PM
Kill them
Kill them all, frikken hate spiders
Apart from spiderman that is
Jon from Bristol
23-06-06, 09:45 PM
The worst is when you wake up in the middle of the night, turn the bedside light on...only to see one of them on the carpet running away from you at high speed. You then wonder if he craftily made a tempory home under your bed clothes or worse explored the inside of your nose while you were in dream land.
:D We've got nukes...we got sharp knives...we even got pointy sticks.... :smt106!! :lol: :lol:
Jon from Bristol
23-06-06, 09:58 PM
Nukes?
Bit excessive innit?.........ere.......where did you get hold of a Nuke?
MI5 is getting this all down you know....You just wait for the knock on the door.
Im terrified of spiders, my other half didnt realise how scared i am until he tried chasing me with one he'd caught in a pint glass, i burst into tears and liocked myself in the bathroom. Even the cat doesnt like them!
Only good spider is a dead/hoovered up one.
Jon from Bristol
23-06-06, 10:05 PM
Tuh
And we call ourselves BIKERS..
Talking of spiders I too hate the b*ggers! Terrified of them. :smt087 My sister told me a story about she a woman she used to work with and spiders.
This lady bought a plant from her local garden centre and took it home. (Can't remember what it's called) Couple of days later she sees a tarantula walking across her floor. She catches it and calls London Zoo who call and collect said spider. They ask her how it came to be there and if she had changed anything recently. She told them about her plant. They take the plant away and examine it. They then come back and tell her the good news. The one we have is a male. They come in pairs. Females are bigger. You have a female tarantula somewhere in your house! They hunt her house. To no avail. No spider. The next day she gets the fumigaters in her house. They are now looking for a dead tarantula. Couple of weeks later she's changing her quilt cover and what do you think she finds?? Exactly! Dead female terantula with about 30 baby ones!!! IN HER BED!! :shock:
true story.
21QUEST
23-06-06, 11:22 PM
Thanks for that I shall be sleeping on the sofa tonight :x
Cheers
Ben
:wink:
I just catch them by hand and stick 'em outside where they belong.
They're helpful creatures and don't deserve to die just because you find them ugly/scary. Poisonous spiders, fine.. get them before they get you (although there is only one species native to britain that can pierce human flesh and they're not poisonous) but common house spiders.... pah.
You're a bunch of meanies. Big fat meanies, I tell you. (Or big wusses.... you can choose :lol:)
:P
ArtyLady
24-06-06, 12:10 AM
I used to be terrified of spiders but dont mind them now - I cant pick them up but I would never kill them - theyre better than them orrible long leggy thingys that dive bomb your head and get caught in your hair - cant stand them yuukkk! :x :smt067
Don't kill them!
Other than the pint glass over them n slide the beer mat under (or other card) to move them outside they are OK to move.
They get rid of bugs (think lid visor/bike splats) and that is good right?
My missus is very scared of spiders, not the tiny ones, just every other size, Last night she was filling out the Kids World Cup Footie wall chart when I spyed one of the offenders walking across the living room carpet, So with the reactions and speed of 1000 gazelles (sorry Hall13_UK) I stamped on it, Well that scared the missus half to death, then when I took my foot of, the Super Spider made a break for It, (New trainers and it found a Gap in the tread) , Cought it in my hand and put it outside and told it "Not to come back"...
Strangely, I seem to have a phobia of anything that has more than four legs.
My mother thought I should face my fears and got me to hold a taranchula in my hand. That bugger was so big that only its body fit on the palm of my hand. I have to say I was 30 ish when I did this. The spider could sense that I was nervous and my hand started to shake. Well the spider naturally tensed up to make sure it wasn't going to fall. Well I could have sworn that this damn spider was going to bite me and freaked.
It was all I could do to stay still while the spider was removed. Mothers can be so stupid at times. :roll:
Also, I got married in Sri Lanka and one evening we decided to go for a romantic midnight walk down the beach. I was fine until we got to the edge of the hotel lights. We walked into the darkness enjoying the nice cool soft sand. After a few steps into the darkness the next few steps were met with not the nice soft step onto the cool dark sand, but rather a hard and cold type of stone ground that gave a crunching sound. Looked down and realised that we had walked into "thousands" of crabs that had swarmed the beach. Jo had to guide me to safety and make a path free of crabs so that I could get back to the hotel. :oops:
Jelster
24-06-06, 08:33 AM
theyre better than them orrible long leggy thingys that dive bomb your head and get caught in your hair - cant stand them yuukkk! :x :smt067
Maybug ???
.
Strangely, I seem to have a phobia of anything that has more than four legs.
My mother thought I should face my fears and got me to hold a taranchula in my hand. That bugger was so big that only its body fit on the palm of my hand. I have to say I was 30 ish when I did this. The spider could sense that I was nervous and my hand started to shake. Well the spider naturally tensed up to make sure it wasn't going to fall. Well I could have sworn that this damn spider was going to bite me and freaked.
It was all I could do to stay still while the spider was removed. Mothers can be so stupid at times. :roll:
Also, I got married in Sri Lanka and one evening we decided to go for a romantic midnight walk down the beach. I was fine until we got to the edge of the hotel lights. We walked into the darkness enjoying the nice cool soft sand. After a few steps into the darkness the next few steps were met with not the nice soft step onto the cool dark sand, but rather a hard and cold type of stone ground that gave a crunching sound. Looked down and realised that we had walked into "thousands" of crabs that had swarmed the beach. Jo had to guide me to safety and make a path free of crabs so that I could get back to the hotel. :oops:
AArrrrrgggghhhh!!!!! How terrifying!?!?!?! Just reading that has given me goosebumps!! EEeeekk!! I can imagine how you were feeling. I know you say you've got to be cruel to be kind but that was just abuse from your mother!! :wink:
Maybug ???
I think she was talking about the Dragonfly or Cranefly whatever they are called. I hate them too!! Bloody things!! I'm sure they know you're terrified of them so they dive bomb you just to scare you even more!! :wink: :D
Maybug ???
Daddy long legs? Mayfly?
Spiders are alright, wouldn't want one (or any insect) running across my skin as I don't like the feeling. Recently been getting baby ones making webs on my bike in the morning.
gavhogg
24-06-06, 11:52 AM
Talking of spiders I too hate the b*ggers! Terrified of them. :smt087 My sister told me a story about she a woman she used to work with and spiders.
This lady bought a plant from her local garden centre and took it home. (Can't remember what it's called) Couple of days later she sees a tarantula walking across her floor. She catches it and calls London Zoo who call and collect said spider. They ask her how it came to be there and if she had changed anything recently. She told them about her plant. They take the plant away and examine it. They then come back and tell her the good news. The one we have is a male. They come in pairs. Females are bigger. You have a female tarantula somewhere in your house! They hunt her house. To no avail. No spider. The next day she gets the fumigaters in her house. They are now looking for a dead tarantula. Couple of weeks later she's changing her quilt cover and what do you think she finds?? Exactly! Dead female terantula with about 30 baby ones!!! IN HER BED!! :shock:
true story.
Holy S%$t , if I pulled back the covers and seen that I'd have fecken torched the place :lol:
You leave spiders along you mean bunch of mean meanies. :(
I'm sure you all hate flys buzzing round and throwing up on everything - well spiders get rid of them so only hoover up a web if it's gone dusty. That means it's abandoned - and living spider would not let their home get into that much of a mess!
I used to have a Tarantula as a pet - they're cool. Espescially watching them hunt for their lunch and storing it away. Like having National Geographic channel on, but better.
She lived for about 10 years - which isn't bad for a creature than in captivity generally has an average lifespan of 6yrs.
I've still got one of ther shed skins in a box somewhere. Now that was fascinating to watch - kinda flipped up at the top and then she slowly crawled out of it leaving a perfect copy behind - hairy legs, fangs n all.
Fangs were about 1.5 cm long - and she never bit me one. Or anyone else who was brave enough to hold her for that matter. Great pet - and only needed feeding about once every couple of months!
A mate I have is scared to hell of spiders (it's funny watching a 6' 5" bloke freaking out!) and we managed to pursuade him to hold her, which he did - well, kind of. He froze and she just proceeded to crawl slowly up his arm! :twisted:
But he's better now and it's only the really little ones that he's nervous of now. :wink:
Spiderman
24-06-06, 01:42 PM
You'd all image that i'd be fine with the critters but i',m ashamed to say i'm a bit of a wuss like the rest of you. :oops:
Tarantula on me? NO WAY JOSE!!! :shock:
The ones round the house i try not to kill, in fact there is one by a crack next to the bath that i feed insects to from time to time. I'm like K that i find it fascinating to watch them doing their thang. Especially on the Telly (cos i know they cant scuttle across the room and start on me next).
I tried to kill one with a flip flop last year, i'd walked into the living room where it was dark (we were in bed already and i was getting something) and i saw the unmistakable shape on the floor. Grabbed flip flop and whacked it, eyes still adjusting to darkenss and i wondered why it looked like it had exploded in a million pieces. And why these pieces seemed to be running everywhere now.
Very sacred i ran to the light switch and YUK, hundereds of little ones dashing everywhere and the mum running off with loads still on her. Trusty turbo hoover sorted them out. And trusty washing machine sorted my pants out. hehe
(we were in bed already and i was getting some) and she saw the unmistakable shape, grabbed flip flop and whacked it!
Ooooooh that's gotta hurt! :twisted:
Sid Squid
24-06-06, 06:34 PM
A misquote of Biblical proportions.
Magic. :lol:
(we were in bed already and i was getting some) and she saw the unmistakable shape, grabbed flip flop and whacked it!
Ooooooh that's gotta hurt! :twisted:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Spiderman
25-06-06, 09:31 AM
(we were in bed already and i was getting some) and she saw the unmistakable shape, grabbed flip flop and whacked it!
Ooooooh that's gotta hurt! :twisted:
:lol: Just read that to Mrs Spidey and she found it very funny.
:shock: Too funny in fact. Me thinks i'll be sleeping wearing a crikcet box for a while ;)
(we were in bed already and i was getting some) and she saw the unmistakable shape, grabbed flip flop and whacked it!
Ooooooh that's gotta hurt! :twisted:
:lol: Just read that to Mrs Spidey and she found it very funny.
:shock: Too funny in fact. Me thinks i'll be sleeping wearing a crikcet box for a while ;)
Awww.
Well, at least you still have this:
Trusty Turbo Hoover sorted me out!
Anonymous
25-06-06, 10:22 AM
get conkers. place in piles around window sills etc and spiders wont come into the house they dont like the smell or something. my daughter lives up the attic and of course there are hundreds up there. will get her conkers in the autumn. all conkers are at present in my bedroom. dont mind spiders and can pick them up etc but i read somewhere that you swallow about 19 spiders during your life time so hate the thought of them in my bedroom and crawling into my mouth when im asleep
Spiderman
25-06-06, 11:25 AM
(we were in bed already and i was getting some) and she saw the unmistakable shape, grabbed flip flop and whacked it!
Ooooooh that's gotta hurt! :twisted:
:lol: Just read that to Mrs Spidey and she found it very funny.
:shock: Too funny in fact. Me thinks i'll be sleeping wearing a crikcet box for a while ;)
Awww.
Well, at least you still have this:
Trusty Turbo Hoover sorted me out!
Err, how painfull would that be :shock:
Other than the pint glass over them n slide the beer mat under.
Just let me empty that beer glass first.
After 20 pints, anyone would be brave enough.
. . .
Shee, shpidee and meesh, we're jusht good matesh. :smt030 :drunken:
A.
ArtyLady
25-06-06, 09:15 PM
but i read somewhere that you swallow about 19 spiders during your life time
:shock: OMG Im gonna hurl :pukel:
and Im gonna tape my mouth up everynight from now on :o
but i read somewhere that you swallow about 19 spiders during your life time
:shock: OMG Im gonna hurl :pukel:
and Im gonna tape my mouth up everynight from now on :o
And no more apples or lettuce... but its the earwig stories that freak me out!
philipMac
26-06-06, 04:40 AM
ha ha. this thread is class.
Anyway, the way I think about it is, if there are loads of spiders legging it about the place in your house, they are eating something. And if they are healthy buggers, then they are eating well.
So, what are they eating? Lots of other little buggers. Which would otherwise be legging it about the place. Spiders normally come out at night, very considerately waiting for you to be off in bed, and then hunt pests in your house.
Like a cat, only less of a total *******.
So, I leave them. I give them a little pat on the back. Tell them their ass doesnt look at all big in that.
I saw a big tarantula in south america. I was grand, and had a good look at him, until the bollix i was with suddenly shouted that it was a jumping tarantula. I was about 10 inches away from it at the time, and I promptly cacked myself. Hilarious.
Crabs on the other hand. Crabs are not cool. In a big way. They are about as uncool as animals come. Other than... lampreys. I had dreams about lampreys. And crabs. And, I didnt wake up a happy camper. More along the lines of a badly strung out herion addict.
philipMac
26-06-06, 04:48 AM
...but i read somewhere that you swallow about 19 spiders during your life time so hate the thought of them in my bedroom and crawling into my mouth when im asleep
In other news, the massive upturn in biker insomnia shows no sign of slowing down.
The experts say that on average we eat two spiders in our lifetime, apparently they come up to our mouths to drink our dribble while we are asleep & occasionally they go a bit too far & get eaten.
Sleep well!!!!!!!!!! :twisted:
DanDare
26-06-06, 09:50 AM
If you go down to the desert tonight, your sure to find a big suprise!
http://upload4.postimage.org/480485/camel_spider.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/480485/photo_hosting.html)
Marshall
26-06-06, 10:38 AM
If you go down to the desert tonight, your sure to find a big suprise!
http://upload4.postimage.org/480485/camel_spider.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/480485/photo_hosting.html)
:shock: :shock: :shock:
WHAT THE F***!!!
im never ever sleeping again, imagine that thing crawling around in your mouth
A friend of mine who has recently come back from serving in Iraq said that those Camel Spiders were horrific things - looked like a cross between a spider adn a scorpion - with the worst qualities of both.
Mind you, he did say it was amusing watching one squaddie being chased out of a tent by one! :roll:
paulthewitt
26-06-06, 12:41 PM
Talking of spiders I too hate the b*ggers! Terrified of them. :smt087 My sister told me a story about she a woman she used to work with and spiders.
This lady bought a plant from her local garden centre and took it home. (Can't remember what it's called) Couple of days later she sees a tarantula walking across her floor. She catches it and calls London Zoo who call and collect said spider. They ask her how it came to be there and if she had changed anything recently. She told them about her plant. They take the plant away and examine it. They then come back and tell her the good news. The one we have is a male. They come in pairs. Females are bigger. You have a female tarantula somewhere in your house! They hunt her house. To no avail. No spider. The next day she gets the fumigaters in her house. They are now looking for a dead tarantula. Couple of weeks later she's changing her quilt cover and what do you think she finds?? Exactly! Dead female terantula with about 30 baby ones!!! IN HER BED!! :shock:
true story.
that happened to an old teacher of mine......virtually identical. they found it though before fumegating....in the bed quilt. have heard of them being found in the airing cupboard aswell. :shock: :shock:
Paul
Nick762
27-06-06, 12:06 PM
Talking of spiders I too hate the b*ggers! Terrified of them. :smt087 My sister told me a story about she a woman she used to work with and spiders.
This lady bought a plant from her local garden centre and took it home. (Can't remember what it's called) Couple of days later she sees a tarantula walking across her floor. She catches it and calls London Zoo who call and collect said spider. They ask her how it came to be there and if she had changed anything recently. She told them about her plant. They take the plant away and examine it. They then come back and tell her the good news. The one we have is a male. They come in pairs. Females are bigger. You have a female tarantula somewhere in your house! They hunt her house. To no avail. No spider. The next day she gets the fumigaters in her house. They are now looking for a dead tarantula. Couple of weeks later she's changing her quilt cover and what do you think she finds?? Exactly! Dead female terantula with about 30 baby ones!!! IN HER BED!! :shock:
true story.
Fear not
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/cactus.htm
I heard the same story from a cousin of mine about some friends who bought a Yucca plant.
I hate this website, some stories you really wish were true and then some spoilsport has to come along and ruin it all :cry:
Oh yeah, it also explains the Camel spider picture...
http://www.snopes.com/photos/bugs/camelspider.asp
Even my posting a few years ago about the Brown Recluse spider gets the Snpos treatment...
http://www.snopes.com/photos/bugs/brownrecluse.asp
Oh and for the record, I'm in the pro spider lobby. I respect them as long as they respect me and promise not to crawl into my orifices at night. Besides, everyone knows that if you kill a spider then the queen of spiders will come and get you :shock:
get conkers. place in piles around window sills etc and spiders wont come into the house they dont like the smell or something. my daughter lives up the attic and of course there are hundreds up there. will get her conkers in the autumn. all conkers are at present in my bedroom. dont mind spiders and can pick them up etc but i read somewhere that you swallow about 19 spiders during your life time so hate the thought of them in my bedroom and crawling into my mouth when im asleep
Never knew that, will try anything to keep the buggers out. Just had to buy daughter a screen to go over her bedroom window, no way will she open it to let air in, coz the spiders will get in too!!!
Although I'm just as scared of them as her, I can at least get close enough to them to put the hose from the hoover over them :twisted:
Apparently there is only one fear you actually naturally have at birth - I can't remember what it is but I think it's falling, or something like that.
All other fears and phobias are a learned response. Either to a pain stimulus (don't stick you finger in a fire twice), a trauma (being locked in a cupboard as a child with only the spiders for company) or a copied response - such as having a parent afraid of spiders.
The theory basically runs that if they are all a learned response, then you can 'unlearn' them - thereby effectively becoming phobia free.
Personally I don't have any phobias - which is a pity. I'd like to have one, just for a day to see what it's like.
But then I'm potentially terminally curious! :roll:
philipMac
27-06-06, 04:05 PM
hieghts might be it K.
I know rock climber guys, who are not afraid of hieghts just suddenly get a snap of fear so hard, that they vomited instantaneously.
The reason I thought it may be falling is that that is basically how you learn to walk - it's the act of falling over forwards, indefinately postponed!
Hmmm, curious now - I'll see if I can find out.
El Saxo
27-06-06, 04:16 PM
I saw on some documentary a theory that we're born with a fear of falling like K said. Apparently it developed when, at some point, humans slept in trees. It's also the reason why you sometimes get that involuntary reaction to a 'falling feeling' when you're close to falling asleep.
Oh, and before I derail any further...
Spiders, not bothered in the slightest, will happily pick them up etc. But moths & other winged wee beasties - ewwwwwwwwwww! 8-[
philipMac
27-06-06, 04:17 PM
The reason I thought it may be falling is that that is basically how you learn to walk - it's the act of falling over forwards, indefinately postponed!
Hmmm, curious now - I'll see if I can find out.
Solid fact of the day stuff there K if you get the answer.
Well, from a brief flick through some stuff it seems to either be a fear of falling or of loud noises - or both. :?
Anonymous
27-06-06, 05:20 PM
well i went on a mini beast safari for a school trip today and picked up loads of bugs including beetles, centipedes, spiders and other 4 legged things. only thing i dont like is worms and snakes. they have no legs how can they move its just not right. :?
Spiderman
27-06-06, 05:29 PM
well i went on a mini beast safari for a school trip today and picked up loads of bugs including beetles, centipedes, spiders and other 4 legged things. only thing i dont like is worms and snakes. they have no legs how can they move its just not right. :?
Neither has the lesser spotted and publicity shy trouser-snake, and that twitches and moves all the time. ;)
Anonymous
27-06-06, 05:37 PM
well i went on a mini beast safari for a school trip today and picked up loads of bugs including beetles, centipedes, spiders and other 4 legged things. only thing i dont like is worms and snakes. they have no legs how can they move its just not right. :?
Neither has the lesser spotted and publicity shy trouser-snake, and that twitches and moves all the time. ;)
its great when it twitches :twisted:
well i went on a mini beast safari for a school trip today and picked up loads of bugs including beetles, centipedes, spiders and other 4 legged things. only thing i dont like is worms and snakes. they have no legs how can they move its just not right. :?
Neither has the lesser spotted and publicity shy trouser-snake, and that twitches and moves all the time. ;)
Are you sure you don't mean his two companions just below a bit?!?! I thought they moved and twitched all the time but hey what do I know... I'm just a shy plain 'ol girlie! :wink:
well i went on a mini beast safari for a school trip today and picked up loads of bugs including beetles, centipedes, spiders and other 4 legged things. only thing i dont like is worms and snakes. they have no legs how can they move its just not right. :?
Neither has the lesser spotted and publicity shy trouser-snake, and that twitches and moves all the time. ;)
its great when it twitches :twisted:
But not so great when it's spotty! :shock:
Spiderman
28-06-06, 10:12 AM
I make one dodgy knob gag and the usual female suspects arent far behind :lol:
Well done girls :thumleft:
I hope you aren't referring to me spidey! :shock:
I'm a good girl I am....
honest!
:twisted:
:wink:
Anonymous
28-06-06, 05:27 PM
well i went on a mini beast safari for a school trip today and picked up loads of bugs including beetles, centipedes, spiders and other 4 legged things. only thing i dont like is worms and snakes. they have no legs how can they move its just not right. :?
Neither has the lesser spotted and publicity shy trouser-snake, and that twitches and moves all the time. ;)
its great when it twitches :twisted:
But not so great when it's spotty! :shock:
eeeeew :shock:
Spiderman
28-06-06, 06:56 PM
I hope you aren't referring to me spidey! :shock:
I'm a good girl I am....
honest!
:twisted:
:wink:
Especially you!
Anyone who has a cute name like BabyJ and has a nice cute avatar like that is seriously trying hard to sell the sweet and innocent image of themselves.
Luckyily, i can see right thru that ploy :D
I hope you aren't referring to me spidey! :shock:
I'm a good girl I am....
honest!
:twisted:
:wink:
Especially you!
Anyone who has a cute name like BabyJ and has a nice cute avatar like that is seriously trying hard to sell the sweet and innocent image of themselves.
Luckyily, i can see right thru that ploy :D
Me?!?!?!?! :shock:
Spidey I'm offended! :cry:
:twisted: :wink:
Spiderman
28-06-06, 08:56 PM
:lol:
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