View Full Version : Worst films you've seen
Okay, so Biker Boiyz was a bit pants. But what truly bad movies have you seen?
Judge Dredd was on last night & that was so bad it made me andgry that they'd ruined a perfectly good comic.
I seem to recall never having been able to sat thru' all of Last Action Hero. Can only manage 15 minute segments.
But the new Star Wars movies have to be the biggest contender for worst movies ever - should have stopped after Empire Strikes Back.
I *am* looking forward to Rocky 6....even though it will be pretty dire.
Marshall
13-07-06, 10:07 AM
welcome to collinvile
shark attack 3 - megaloaden
boy eats girl (not a porno)
prison a go go
solaris
pteradactll
i watch/own sooo many bad films
Speed 2 was a complete turkey IMHO. Not even the lovely Ms Bullock could save it.
Argh!! Completely forgot about Solaris.
Jeez, I suffered that in the cinema....still if I ever have 2 hours left to live. I know what I'm doing. I'm going to spend them watching Solaris as it felt like I'd been in the cinema for 367 years (approx!).
lukemillar
13-07-06, 10:18 AM
Argh!! Completely forgot about Solaris.
Jeez, I suffered that in the cinema....still if I ever have 2 hours left to live. I know what I'm doing. I'm going to spend them watching Solaris as it felt like I'd been in the cinema for 367 years (approx!).
What is wrong with Solaris? I enjoyed it - maybe you were expecting it to be something it wasn't?
Bad films:
Transporter 2 - Watched this the other day - utter poo.
Battlefield Earth - Worst film ever made.
Cube 2 - 1st was great budget sci-fi horror, sequel was just sh*t.
Torque, made me laugh when they use motorcycles like swords to duel with.
Terminator 3 was terrible especially if you compare it with the first 2
Scooby Doo was not worth the ticket fee.
I've heard Battlefield Earth was dire so never bothered to watch it
Marshall
13-07-06, 10:20 AM
Battlefield Earth was that bad im actually trying to find a copy of it at the moment, i really need to see it again. i just love really bad sci-fi films, make me laugh
Plunkett and Maclane - one of the few films I have turned off before the end... utter tosh...
creamerybutter
13-07-06, 10:23 AM
Charlies Angles 2 and 2 Fast 2 Furious were bad.
dunno about worst film, but one of the worst books i've read, or tried to read (didn't finish it cos it did my head in) watch Catch22
what language is that written in? too much for me.
one of the worst films starred one of my all time favorite actors of all time ever for always, Bill Murray, and i don't even remember the name i've blocked it out of my mind. all i can recall is he see's shrink (Dreyfuss i believe) and bangs on about "baby steps" every 5 ****in minutes.
that is all.
Hmm, a couple already posted, also some that are posted, that i enjoyed. I like a no brainer total ridiculous kiind of film, they have thier place.
Anyhoo to my selection...
Battlefield earth
The avengers
LA Confidential
The day after tomorrow
Deep impact
Independence day
LA Confidential
I liked LA Confidential, what's wrong with it?
Marshall
13-07-06, 10:34 AM
The Day After Tomorrow was ace
I thought LA confidential was good.
Thin Red Line - right up it's own ...........
Nick762
13-07-06, 10:39 AM
Hmm, a couple already posted, also some that are posted, that i enjoyed. I like a no brainer total ridiculous kiind of film, they have thier place.
Anyhoo to my selection...
Battlefield earth
The avengers
LA Confidential
The day after tomorrow
Deep impact
Independence day
Hey!!! Don't knock Independence Day, it made me proud to be American (until I remembered that I'm actually English!) bet there were some awkward questions after that episode:
America: Well guys, we saved the world again :)
World: But on the other hand, we were invaded by aliens, all our major cities were obliterated and billions of people killed and you lot just happened to forget to mention to us that you had been aware of aliens for the last 50 years?
America: My brother has his own construction company, I'm sure we can come to a deal, very competitive rates....
Most bad sci-fi I find vaguely amusing but the Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy was a travesty.
Amanda M
13-07-06, 10:40 AM
The fast and the furious :lol: So bad I had to switch it off :lol:
Yeah, I defo agree with the Torque nomination... but the top worst film EVER for me has to be:
Starship Troopers 2. I sat through the whole thing simply out of morbid curiosity.
Marshall
13-07-06, 11:12 AM
i never got to the end of starship troopers 2, ive got it, but couldnt bring myself to watch it
Yeah, I defo agree with the Torque nomination... but the top worst film EVER for me has to be:
Starship Troopers 2. I sat through the whole thing simply out of morbid curiosity.
Theya re all coming back to me in a horrible flashback. Starship troopers was bad enough, why oh why did they make a second?
And you never asked for reason why you dont like films.
Marshall
13-07-06, 11:19 AM
Yeah, I defo agree with the Torque nomination... but the top worst film EVER for me has to be:
Starship Troopers 2. I sat through the whole thing simply out of morbid curiosity.
Theya re all coming back to me in a horrible flashback. Starship troopers was bad enough, why oh why did they make a second?
And you never asked for reason why you dont like films.
The fact that the second one was straight to DVD and had none of the same characters in sort of already explains what your about to watch
Balky001
13-07-06, 11:19 AM
Gone is 60 seconds and Snake Eyes both featuring Nicholas cage. Dreadful
Darkman - was it serious or just a really poor spoof
lukemillar
13-07-06, 11:20 AM
Yeah, I defo agree with the Torque nomination... but the top worst film EVER for me has to be:
Starship Troopers 2. I sat through the whole thing simply out of morbid curiosity.
Theya re all coming back to me in a horrible flashback. Starship troopers was bad enough, why oh why did they make a second?
And you never asked for reason why you dont like films.
What! Starship Troopers was great! Never seen the second
"My Big Fat Greek Wedding" waste of time.
Marshall
13-07-06, 11:27 AM
The Blair Witch Project
what a total wast of my time, boring, motion sickness with an ending you could spot a mile away
The Blair Witch Project
what a total wast of my time, boring, motion sickness with an ending you could spot a mile away
Yeah, that film annoyed me.
Warthog
13-07-06, 11:32 AM
Probably not a popular choice, but I hated "lost in translation". So boring it made me squirm.
I hated The Mummy.
:shock: I loved both films.
Jester666
13-07-06, 11:57 AM
Highlander 2. Still the only film I have walked out of the cinema for. Made a mockery of the first, classic one. I ever managed to suffer Titanic all the way through!! :puker: :pukel:
Marshall
13-07-06, 12:00 PM
If you thought the second one was bad, have you seen the 3rd and the 4th??
Jester666
13-07-06, 12:01 PM
No, I avoided them like I avoid catching ebola!! :lol:
Stormspiel
13-07-06, 12:11 PM
My nominations:
Lost in Translation
The Interpreter
Blair Witch Project
Matchstick Men
Finding Neverland
Open water
Revolver
Salems Lot (new version)
Stepford Wives (new version)
All dire and none of them finished :roll:
Marshall
13-07-06, 12:22 PM
Revolver was ok, but the rest werent
mudge32
13-07-06, 12:24 PM
Plan 9 From Outer Space - so bad it's hilarious :lol: So technically it's not the worst film I've ever seen :-k That award goes to any of the Jaws sequels - "This time it's personal"- Yeah right :lol: :lol:
lukemillar
13-07-06, 12:24 PM
My nominations:
Lost in Translation
The Interpreter
Blair Witch Project
Matchstick Men
Finding Neverland
Open water
Revolver
Salems Lot (new version)
Stepford Wives (new version)
All dire and none of them finished :roll:
I find it interesting that Lost in Translation keeps on cropping up, that was one of my favourite films a year or to ago!
SpankyHam
13-07-06, 12:29 PM
Worst film:
Catwoman
followed by Ultraviolet
lukemillar
13-07-06, 12:34 PM
Here is the IMDB's worst 100 films:
http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom
A few mentioned already have made the cut! One (which I haven't seen) but have heard of by reputation is Leonard Part 6. Apparently Bill Crosby bought all the rights to the film to ensure that it would never be seen on TV!!
Actually on that subject (not technically a film) is The Star Wars Holiday Special. Originally shown on TV just after the original Star wars was released and is basically a variety show.
Plot goes something like this:
Han Solo and Chewie are heading back to Chewies home planet to celebrate life day. You meet Chewies family as well as singing by princess Leia, cooking tips by Beatrice Arthur from the Golden Girls and music from Jefferson Starship. George Lucas famously attempted (and failed) to buy up all master copies of this special to ensure it was never broadcast again.
I have a copy on VCD - if anyone is curious PM me and I'll send you a copy!
Marshall
13-07-06, 12:38 PM
I own 6 of the bottom 100 lol
7 when i get my hands on battlefield earth
creamerybutter
13-07-06, 12:44 PM
Love honour and Obey was gash. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0199727/)
No 92 on the 100 worst films sounds good (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057181/) :P
Marshall
13-07-06, 12:45 PM
That sounds ACE
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - just a load of random events and ideas put together - half baked philosophical ideas mixed with tedious characters. I have no idea why the book / telly series / film is popular.
The royal tenanbaums (sp?) - Rubbish and dull
I've also seen 'Twin Peaks - Fire Walk With Me' (The film prequel to the tv series) - a load of unintelligible twaddle. David Lynch is a nutter.
Flamin_Squirrel
13-07-06, 01:07 PM
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - just a load of random events and ideas put together - half baked philosophical ideas mixed with tedious characters. I have no idea why the book / telly series / film is popular.
Because it's witty.
The film / series is poor. Unfortunately it's popular because it's making money off the back of a tallented writer.
mudge32
13-07-06, 01:18 PM
I've also seen 'Twin Peaks - Fire Walk With Me' (The film prequel to the tv series) - a load of unintelligible twaddle. David Lynch is a nutter.
Probably explains why he stuffed up my beloved Dune :wink: ! There was a cack film!!! It's not a good idea squeezing a huge complicated book into 3 hrs!!!
mysteryjimbo
13-07-06, 01:21 PM
Street Fighter the Movie...... :oops:
TVR_Tracy
13-07-06, 01:34 PM
Hmm I would have to say that Aeon Flux is THE most rubbish film I've ever seen, I can't even remember what it was about?! Charlize looks great in that film, but she is soooo wooden it's not true... She should stick to her oscar roles, cos she aint no action chick :?
Oooo and Underworld 2 was pretty dire too!!! Where was the plot? :?:
*Yawn*
Marshall
13-07-06, 01:37 PM
Oooo and Underworld 2 was pretty dire too!!! Where was the plot? :?:
*Yawn*
Didnt need a plot, tasty bird in leather / rubber, its all it needed
TVR_Tracy
13-07-06, 01:40 PM
Oooo and Underworld 2 was pretty dire too!!! Where was the plot? :?:
*Yawn*
Didnt need a plot, tasty bird in leather / rubber, its all it needed
Agreed, but she's so wooden it's untrue...
*Mental note: If and when the time comes, get leathers like Kate LOL*
Filipe M.
13-07-06, 01:41 PM
Lost In Translation is a great film. Fact. Just don't watch it if you're more into action films or the like. It's a pretty "heavy" film emotion-wise, and it's not only what you see on the screen that counts.
think i agree with fillipe
its a good film, quite poignant, maybe not great, but definately gets a 7/10.
Reckless Rat
13-07-06, 02:03 PM
I thought 'Solaris' was pretty poor... my DVD will play at 1.3x normal speed, even then was too slow!
but...
Love honour and Obey was gash.
Disagree... the robbery on Viagra was soooo funny!
RR
wyrdness
13-07-06, 02:07 PM
Lost In Translation is a great film. Fact. Just don't watch it if you're more into action films or the like. It's a pretty "heavy" film emotion-wise, and it's not only what you see on the screen that counts.
I love Lost in Translation. The first time I watched it properly on DVD, I wanted to go straight back to the beginning and watch it again. The only reason that I didn't was that it was the early hours of the morning and I was too tired.
Bad films:
Little Nicky - probably the worst film I've ever seen.
Urban Legend - absolutely awful. Only made bearable by the lovely Alicia Witt (http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=alicia+witt).
Independence Day - One review described this as America giving itself a collective handjob. Total w@nk.
Dishonourable mention to The Producers (remake, not the original). I started watching this on the plane to New Zealand. I kept watching in the mistaken belief that it *must* get better. It didn't, so I gave up after 20 minutes.
Jester666
13-07-06, 03:18 PM
I've also seen 'Twin Peaks - Fire Walk With Me' (The film prequel to the tv series) - a load of unintelligible twaddle. David Lynch is a nutter.
Probably explains why he stuffed up my beloved Dune :wink: ! There was a cack film!!! It's not a good idea squeezing a huge complicated book into 3 hrs!!!
Clive Barker was approached by a producer who asked if he could make a film of Weaveworld. (Excellent Book) Barker apparently replied "I'm only going to say 1 word.................Dune" The producer left!! :lol:
My list of awful films.
Jersey Girl - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300051/
Gili - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299930/
Ultraviolet - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0370032/
And my so bad it's good nomination goes to...
Zombie Honeymoon - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399934/
My list of awful films.
Jersey Girl - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300051/
Gili - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299930/
Ultraviolet - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0370032/
And my so bad it's good nomination goes to...
Zombie Honeymoon - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399934/
When you said Ultraviolet, I thought of the TV series which was alright, never seen the film. Haven't seen any of the others either.
kwak zzr
13-07-06, 04:47 PM
Tango and Cash :roll:
My worst films
The Sound Of Music..............made me cringe when I was TEN for crying out loud!
Dune.............oh dear!
Blood Work...........because I've read all of Micheal Connely's books and Eastwood was SO wrong for the lead role...............AND they changed the ending too!
ANY Rocky film.
Mr and Mrs Smith.......not even Brad Pitt could save it!
Tango and Cash :roll:
Now thats a great film, an excellent buddy buddy cop film, so bad its good esp. the music *goes off and looks*
Marshall
13-07-06, 04:49 PM
Tango and Cash :roll:
Now thats a great film, an excellent buddy buddy cop film, so bad its good esp. the music *goes off and looks*
Agree
its ace in a cheesey 80's movie way
carelesschucca
13-07-06, 04:55 PM
Plan 9 From Outer Space - so bad it's hilarious :lol:
I love that film, but not for the right reasons
My list of awful films.
Jersey Girl - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300051/
Gili - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299930/
Ultraviolet - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0370032/
And my so bad it's good nomination goes to...
Zombie Honeymoon - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399934/
When you said Ultraviolet, I thought of the TV series which was alright, never seen the film. Haven't seen any of the others either.
The new flick, total pants. I was stuck in traffic on a late Monday afternoon, parked the car and went to the cinema. It was the only thing starting at the time so I wasted my £5.80. Only marginally better than sitting in traffic for 90 minutes.
Plan 9 From Outer Space - so bad it's hilarious :lol:
I love that film, but not for the right reasons
Ed Wood and his angora sweaters?
carelesschucca
13-07-06, 05:01 PM
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - just a load of random events and ideas put together - half baked philosophical ideas mixed with tedious characters. I have no idea why the book / telly series / film is popular.
Its cause your a girl (I don't know one girl that likes it) Its boys humour, its flawed genius... the trilogy of books are amazing... Random for a reason the probability drive does that kind of thing...
As for bad films anything Steven Segal has done in the last 10 years names of which I can't think of right now but they will be Carp!!!
Marshall
13-07-06, 05:03 PM
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - just a load of random events and ideas put together - half baked philosophical ideas mixed with tedious characters. I have no idea why the book / telly series / film is popular.
Its cause your a girl (I don't know one girl that likes it) Its boys humour, its flawed genius... the trilogy of books are amazing... Random for a reason the probability drive does that kind of thing...
As for bad films anything Steven Segal has done in the last 10 years names of which I can't think of right now but they will be Carp!!!
Ahh but when you watcha Steven Segal film do you expect it to be any good, of course not. But i can garantee it will be humorous
Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy what a load of **** that was walked out of the cinema 15 mins before the end couldn't stand it any longer!!!!!!!!!!!!
wyrdness
13-07-06, 11:00 PM
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - just a load of random events and ideas put together - half baked philosophical ideas mixed with tedious characters. I have no idea why the book / telly series / film is popular.
Its cause your a girl (I don't know one girl that likes it) Its boys humour, its flawed genius... the trilogy of books are amazing... Random for a reason the probability drive does that kind of thing...
Mrs Wyrdness loves the H2G2 books and I'm fairly sure she's a girl. Let's check... Yup, definitely girl*. She doesn't like boy humour either. So that's your theory blown out of the water :wink:
Having said that, the movie sucked. Even the crap old BBC TV series was better.
* I could post photos of our night out at the Rocky Horror show that would prove this. However, they might also do the same for me :oops: :D
northwind
13-07-06, 11:08 PM
The fact that the second one was straight to DVD and had none of the same characters in sort of already explains what your about to watch
You know you're in trouble when you can't even convince Casper Van Dien and Doogie Howser to appear in your sequel. I hear they both work in teh same MacDonalds.
The worst film I've ever seen was probably Dune. "Let's make a screenplay that leaves out key elements and adds in inexplicable new ones that add nothing, then lets make it 4 hours long, then cut out 2 hours without even bothering to add voiceovers to fill in the massive gaps" The book was dire too, but at least it was coherently dire. Yes, apparently nuclear weapons turn mountains into sand.
I thought Terminator III was fantastic - had me in tears
Loved LA Confidential - nothing wrong with that film
Independence Day - was so disgusted with myself for buying it that I made a fire with it when I ran out of firelighters - didn't want to waste yesterday's newspapers.
The Blair Witch Project
what a total wast of my time, boring, motion sickness with an ending you could spot a mile away
I have never seen the end to that film. Jo and I went to watch it in the then local cinema. They had an interval half way through, Jo and I went out for a smoke and never bothered to return. Dire. I think the hype that preceded it was what made it a hit.
Captain Nemo
14-07-06, 08:19 AM
i agree that a lot of these films are really poor,
but the winner in the pants film stakes is without doubt.....
drumroll please.
Zardos , starring Sean Connery
it combines a bad story with bad acting, bad acting and mild homoeroticism always a winner
lukemillar
14-07-06, 08:27 AM
it combines a bad story with bad acting, bad acting and mild homoeroticism always a winner
Good call, though it must always be followed by this picture!
http://upload4.postimage.org/609330/zardoz.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/609330/photo_hosting.html)
Captain Nemo
14-07-06, 09:54 AM
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Filipe M.
14-07-06, 11:00 AM
it combines a bad story with bad acting, bad acting and mild homoeroticism always a winner
Good call, though it must always be followed by this picture!
http://upload4.postimage.org/609330/zardoz.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/609330/photo_hosting.html)
JEEEEEEEZ what's that?!?!?!?! :shock: :shock: :shock:
TVR_Tracy
14-07-06, 11:07 AM
JEEEEEEEZ what's that?!?!?!?! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Looks like Sean "anyone-for-bondage" Connery :lol:
SVeeedy Gonzales
14-07-06, 11:20 AM
Paycheck
Ben Affleck in typical laughingly wooden form
Uma Thurman doing a fill in job around the Kill Bill movies and blatantyl not bothering to act at all
The weakest plot you've ever seen
Cars hitting bits of rubbish and blowing up
The bike of the film is a gash BMW
And there's a bit near the end that everyone (all 5 of us) in the cinema went "WTF!?" at - no proper point in the film and it's just daft.
But it's one of those films that are so bad you have to see it - nothing to save it in any way, shape or form.
bobbydazzler
14-07-06, 12:16 PM
anyone watch biker boyz on the beeb one the other night :lol:
anyone watch biker boyz on the beeb one the other night :lol:
No can't watch it again same goes for Torque.
Jools'SV Now
14-07-06, 02:01 PM
51st state.
Get some names, make them say f*ck alot.
complete ****e-ola
Marshall
14-07-06, 02:12 PM
51st state.
Get some names, make them say f*ck alot.
complete sh*te-ola
i thought 51st state was hillarious
Titanic.
I kept fast forwarding through it. But then it had the two worst lead actors in it!
Lou x
pegasus
15-07-06, 07:25 AM
Debbie does Dallas - i thought the script was a bit lame, and the ending was a let down, however the music score was superb :lol:
Tango and Cash :roll:
Now thats a great film, an excellent buddy buddy cop film, so bad its good esp. the music *goes off and looks*
Agree
its ace in a cheesey 80's movie way
Nothing wrong with Kurt Russell or Sylvester Stallone come to think of it! =P~ :wink:
I have to say the worst film I ever watched was American Beauty! How it won so many oscars is just beyond me! I watched it again recently just to remind myself of how dire it was and god I wished I hadn't! :oops:
Jeepers Creepers
awful film
Triple X. Got it out on DVD and turned it off after about 15 minutes. Worst pile of pish I think Ive ever seen.
Marshall
17-07-06, 09:18 AM
Ive just "aquired" Tremours III, ill let yo know if its in the running for worst film ever later
Got home Last night and watched "Water world" because it was on and I was bored. I want my 2 hrs back.
Also "the phantom of the opera" - a 20 minute story stretched out over what seemed to be 10 hours or so.
Ultaviolet (the film not the vampire series)
Quite honestly the worst film I've seen in a very long time.
DanDare
17-07-06, 09:53 AM
Ultaviolet (the film not the vampire series)
Quite honestly the worst film I've seen in a very long time.
I quite liked it, better then some rubbish mini series that have been aired. :D
Edit* Just realised it not the Vampire thing you were talking about.
Taxi for Mr Dare :oops:
Nick762
17-07-06, 10:29 AM
Jeepers Creepers
awful film
Billed as the scariest film ever....
Load of tosh, even the most feeble episodes of Buffy were scarier.
There's a thought, how about a thread on the scariest film ever. I always find so called scary films a bit of a let down because the scaryness is never as bad as I imagined it would be. Whether making a truly scary film is a vanishing art or I'm just getting old and cynical I'm not sure. By scary I don't mean buckets of blood and gore, I mean a genuine atmosphere of suspense with a strong ending (actually, The Descent was the closest I've seen to a good scary ending recently).
The film that sticks most in my mind was an old black and white called "Night of the Demon" but again, I was quite young when I first saw it.
Got home Last night and watched "Water world" because it was on and I was bored. I want my 2 hrs back.
Also "the phantom of the opera" - a 20 minute story stretched out over what seemed to be 10 hours or so.
I did the same I was bored so Waterworld it was, while on the subject of water I'll like to nominate Open Water as a truely awefull film a complete was of about a hour and a half of my life.
Ultaviolet (the film not the vampire series)
Quite honestly the worst film I've seen in a very long time.
I quite liked it, better then some rubbish mini series that have been aired. :D
Edit* Just realised it not the Vampire thing you were talking about.
Taxi for Mr Dare :oops:
lol, the vampire series wasn't so bad but the film (nothing to do with vampires either) is terrible! My brother deliberately lied to me saying it was good just so that I would sit through it as he had watched it.
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