View Full Version : BMW
gavhogg
18-07-06, 10:53 PM
A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots
the top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she
bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks
wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone
had noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop
up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the
form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and
displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with,
"Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not
have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the
price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are
going to **** yourself when I tell you the price."
:lol: :lol:
scooby2102
18-07-06, 11:13 PM
:shock: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
TVR_Tracy
19-07-06, 10:46 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I hate BMW's....
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I hate BMW's....
I have a soft spot for the R1150R......dunno why, just think it looks kinda cool.
The replacement 1200 version (next year [-o< ) will be on my short-list. Yeah, i know it's a twin, but hey.....can't have everything :wink:
:lol: :lol: :lol: I'm with Tracy hate them
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Why all the hate for BMWs?
Skip (BMW owner :oops: )
TVR_Tracy
19-07-06, 10:59 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Why all the hate for BMWs?
Skip (BMW owner :oops: )
They are *yawn* and EVERYONE has one, and those that do think they own the road.... :twisted:
Amen :lol: :lol: :lol:
(Don't hate me, it's only one persons opinion)
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Why all the hate for BMWs?
Skip (BMW owner :oops: )
They are *yawn* and EVERYONE has one, and those that do think they own the road.... :twisted:
Amen :lol: :lol: :lol:
(Don't hate me, it's only one persons opinion)What do you think of volvo drivers?
They are *yawn* and EVERYONE has one, and those that do think they own the road.... :twisted:
Bit of a sweeping statement! Hence I went for a Touring version - plus mine is a "classic" one - and nothing wrong with owning the road, you should just be lucky I allow you on it... :wink: :lol:
TVR_Tracy
19-07-06, 11:13 AM
What do you think of volvo drivers?
Very safe and wear socks with sandals :lol: :lol:
By the way, my hate for BMWs is directed at their cars, I don't know anything about their bikes...
They are *yawn* and EVERYONE has one, and those that do think they own the road.... :twisted:
Bit of a sweeping statement! Hence I went for a Touring version - plus mine is a "classic" one - and nothing wrong with owning the road, you should just be lucky I allow you on it... :wink: :lol:
What he said, I've got a E30 Touring!!!
Everything post 1990 (ish) are boring rep mobiles :thumbdown: . Before then 8) 8) 8) 8)
TVR_Tracy
19-07-06, 11:21 AM
By the way, my hate for BMWs is directed at their cars, I don't know anything about their bikes...
Just in case you missed it... :?
I have nothing but love for bikers :) (I mean that platonically :shock: )
I was just going to ask if you hated both BMW bikes and cars.
I had a Beemer F650, lovely bike, but he had to go, poor Billy.
Buy hey, I got an SV650 instead! :lol: :lol: :lol:
They are *yawn* and EVERYONE has one, and those that do think they own the road.... :twisted:
Bit of a sweeping statement! Hence I went for a Touring version - plus mine is a "classic" one - and nothing wrong with owning the road, you should just be lucky I allow you on it... :wink: :lol:
What he said, I've got a E30 Touring!!!
You quite clearly have impeccable taste! :thumbsup:
Jester666
19-07-06, 12:07 PM
They are *yawn* and EVERYONE has one, and those that do think they own the road.... :twisted:
Bit of a sweeping statement! Hence I went for a Touring version - plus mine is a "classic" one - and nothing wrong with owning the road, you should just be lucky I allow you on it... :wink: :lol:
I thought Gordon Brown owned the roads. Obviously he sub lets London to Ken!! :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Why all the hate for BMWs?
Skip (BMW owner :oops: )
Ummmmmm, outside lane drivers?
Think they own the road (also available with Merc owners).
Don't know what indicators are.
Think their "ultimate driving machine" really is an ulitimate driving machine...
Driven by "homies" often with chrome spinners and Lexus lights...
Only one worth considering is the M range.
Even my old Corsa had better on the road statisics than a 318 (thats usually a 1.8 or a 1.9) and mine was a diddy 1.4 :lol:
BMW's to cars are what Volvos are to bikers..... Made by machines, driven by the dummy (No offence fella ha ha) :?
Blah, hate BMWs blah blah
You can go off some people you know mate... :wink: :lol:
Just for your pleasure... :P
http://personal.inet.fi/yritys/hipower/BMW%20318i%20S%20TUNING%20-92.jpg
What do you think of volvo drivers?
Very safe and wear socks with sandals :lol: :lol:
By the way, my hate for BMWs is directed at their cars, I don't know anything about their bikes...
Poor V
carelesschucca
19-07-06, 04:39 PM
http://personal.inet.fi/yritys/hipower/BMW%20318i%20S%20TUNING%20-92.jpg
I so hope thats not yours, Its just not right...
kwak zzr
19-07-06, 04:50 PM
strange that how most BMW's dont indicate :?
gavhogg
19-07-06, 05:43 PM
http://personal.inet.fi/yritys/hipower/BMW%20318i%20S%20TUNING%20-92.jpg
Is Skip a female name then? :lol:
:lol: :lol: great joke
better cars out there for the price your charged on a bmw imo
You can go off some people you know mate... :wink: :lol:
Just for your pleasure... :P
http://personal.inet.fi/yritys/hipower/BMW%20318i%20S%20TUNING%20-92.jpg
Hey man, im only messing around :wink: :lol: No BMW drivers should take it personnally. I can't see many poor BMW driving bikers... We're aware of whats going on :lol: 8)
PS, these arn't too bad either :wink:
http://images8.fotki.com/v137/photos/4/48802/919240/26626804-vi.jpg
http://images7.fotki.com/v158/photos/4/48802/919240/P1060276-vi.jpg
http://images7.fotki.com/v157/photos/4/48802/919240/PICT0376-vi.jpg
TVR_Tracy
19-07-06, 06:12 PM
:shock: :shock: for a moment there, I thought I'd stepped into www.chav_my_beemer.ORG
:shock: :shock:
http://personal.inet.fi/yritys/hipower/BMW%20318i%20S%20TUNING%20-92.jpg
Why do I suddenly feel the need for ice cream??
flynn209
19-07-06, 07:15 PM
If you lined up cars bumper to bumper around the world....
...a bmw driver would still try to overtake
Supervox
19-07-06, 07:30 PM
Sorry guys, but to me ALL the above pics just look like Chavmobiles :shock:
TVR_Tracy
19-07-06, 07:31 PM
So true!
Anonymous
19-07-06, 08:19 PM
Speaking for me only, there have only been two good BMWs since 1945...
http://upload4.postimage.org/647397/bmw_isetta.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/647397/photo_hosting.html) http://upload4.postimage.org/647400/BMW30CSL.jpg (http://upload4.postimage.org/647400/photo_hosting.html)
The rest have been pretty characterless IMHO, with the 8-series leading the way on that front. Mind you, their museum is a great place (Britischer Architekt and all that....). :lol: :lol: :lol:
Jelster
19-07-06, 10:31 PM
I was going to get a 3 series until I learened that I had to to take a "driving retardation course" to qualify me to drive it..... :lol:
.
http://personal.inet.fi/yritys/hipower/BMW%20318i%20S%20TUNING%20-92.jpg
I so hope thats not yours, Its just not right...
Too blooming right - I was merely winding Daimo up! :wink: :lol: Mine is just a normal one!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v607/skip665/325i/325iTouring.jpg
Sorry guys, but to me ALL the above pics just look like Chavmobiles :shock:
And whats your definition of a chav mobile???? Something with anything not factory fit? Mean all SV owners are chavs as well?
(I can't see any of the above being owned by spotty baseball cap, gold chain wearing hoodied spotty oicks personnally????). That black E30 runs 10s/11's on the 1/4 mile. The coloured on looks like a Cosworth YB engine in a BMW, tuned and setup for track racing, and the top red one is the only one thats been "modified" for looks as well... Still, at least its a 2.8 turbo though..... All 3 will oblitorate an SV in every way (bar traffic and fuel consumption :lol: )
Sounds like "branding" again to me............. (anything modified is a chav, so what happened to the term boyracer, they are different types of people).
Can't see any of the above being like the local metro, saxo, corsa, nova owners on the local McDonalds....
THIS is a chav BMW.... Slight difference....
http://images5.fotki.com/v65/photos/4/48802/919240/1101062_IMGvi-vi.jpg
http://images5.fotki.com/v65/photos/4/48802/919240/1101061_IMGvi-vi.jpg
[quote=carelesschucca]
Too blooming right - I was merely winding Daimo up! :wink: :lol: Mine is just a normal one!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v607/skip665/325i/325iTouring.jpg
Not winding me up fella, i don't own the BMW :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink:
Although if you owned the blue one, I may have to b1tch slap you :lol:
Flamin_Squirrel
20-07-06, 09:19 AM
Sorry guys, but to me ALL the above pics just look like Chavmobiles :shock:
And whats your definition of a chav mobile???? Something with anything not factory fit? Mean all SV owners are chavs as well?
Something that's tacky/over the top, which the first two are - not made my mind up about the 3rd.
Ok, without starting this into a row like most seem to think.......
Why do you think the first two are tacky? Everyone has an opinion, cool, but why do YOU feel the first two are "tacky" ?
Surley the 2nd one is a close replica (bar the more tuned engine) of an E30 Touring car???? Are they tacky?
3rd one is a standard external (bar a few smoothings) E30 with a silly powerful engine??? Certainly not tacky as it practically looks standard...
Amanda M
20-07-06, 09:29 AM
I like the looks of all 3 of those, especially the 3rd one. That shape of BM has always appealed. My hubby had a 525 or 520, I can't remember) in that shape until the gearbox broke :lol:
That chavved up one is funny though :lol: :lol:
Flamin_Squirrel
20-07-06, 09:39 AM
Ok, without starting this into a row like most seem to think.......
Why do you think the first two are tacky? Everyone has an opinion, cool, but why do YOU feel the first two are "tacky" ?
Surley the 2nd one is a close replica (bar the more tuned engine) of an E30 Touring car???? Are they tacky?
3rd one is a standard external (bar a few smoothings) E30 with a silly powerful engine??? Certainly not tacky as it practically looks standard...
They arent so much tacky as over the top, which I think the first one is, and definately the second. The third isnt too bad.
I don't like loud race rep paint schemes on road cars, they look awful.
But i don't understand how you mean over the top?
First one has alloys, sideskirts and front lower lip (all from BMW). The alloys yeah, down to taste, as it the colour, but its caged up, big feck off brakes, a tuned engine with minimal external stying?
If you think thats over the top, my words of advice (prob not needed :lol: ) never ever ever ever go to a modified car show........ (I'd stear clear of Excel show as well as theres a few modified cars, including a Corsa B on 20" wheels etc.....)
Jester666
20-07-06, 09:52 AM
BMW drivers, like bikers, aren't all bad!! :lol:
However the best BM is still the old M5, the perfect Q car. Very subtle and violently quick.
My mate has a 120d also v quick for an oil burner!
Flamin_Squirrel
20-07-06, 10:09 AM
But i don't understand how you mean over the top?
First one has alloys, sideskirts and front lower lip (all from BMW). The alloys yeah, down to taste, as it the colour, but its caged up, big feck off brakes, a tuned engine with minimal external stying?
If you think thats over the top, my words of advice (prob not needed :lol: ) never ever ever ever go to a modified car show........ (I'd stear clear of Excel show as well as theres a few modified cars, including a Corsa B on 20" wheels etc.....)
To be fair, it is the alloys that put me off the most.
I think that the look of a car or bike should flow nicely, no one thing should stand out, and none of it should be too over the top.
The most extreme examples are chavs with clapped out 15 year old hatch backs that have paint peeling off, but with shiney allow wheels. Ghastly.
The most extreme examples are chavs with clapped out 15 year old hatch backs that have paint peeling off, but with shiney allow wheels. Ghastly.
I saw a Calibra on Sunday that had shiny new Lexus lights but the rear wheel arches were rotten and rusty and the car looked like it hadnt been cleaned - why oh why fit bling lights but leave the rest of the car looking like a tip? Is it so other chavs can recognise him and offer him respect?! :?
northwind
20-07-06, 10:15 AM
Yep, but that doesn't make them chavvy in itself, just not to your taste. Race rep bikes aren't to my taste but that's not to say they're bad.
Personally, I do hate that style of arches... Those BMWs have really nice lines, those kits are too square to suit. Very practical, race cars don't have to be all pretty, but on a normal road car I think they look nasty. Stick something like that on an old Pug, fine, they carry it well.
Other than that... The first one's nice, I'm not sure why you'd call it over the top... It's quite understated for what it is. Apart from the wheels, which I don't like much, but whatever floats your boat. They don't suit it IMO.
The race rep, well, it's a race rep with all that brings with it. It does carry off the wings better. The bay's too shiny IMO, engines should be dark and greasy and purposeful, but that's show cars for you.
Bottom one... I think it's got a wee whiff of chav about it TBH :) It's the radiator/intercooler thing behind the grill, it's not well integrated and that always jumps out at me. And like I say, don't like those arches on a normal street car. But it's still no Renault Clio with a gel-coat splitter ;)
TVR_Tracy
20-07-06, 10:15 AM
Why is everyone putting lexus-style lights on old cars... It looks pathetic IMHO :twisted:
Why is everyone putting lexus-style lights on old cars... It looks pathetic IMHO :twisted:
I hear you... :roll:
TVR_Tracy
20-07-06, 11:08 AM
But i don't understand how you mean over the top?
It's someones tastes, relax :lol:
I myself am into British Sports cars, you ACs, Lotus', Marcos's etc. Their beauty speaks for itself, they don't need the skirts etc. That's just my preference, always has been, always will be 8)
Peter Henry
20-07-06, 11:13 AM
AC Cobra? Gorgeous...and that is from someone who normally sees cars as a neccesary evil and nothing else! :wink:
TVR_Tracy
20-07-06, 11:16 AM
AC Cobra
They are beautiful and sound amazing!... *drool*.... My dream car 8)
[
The most extreme examples are chavs with clapped out 15 year old hatch backs that have paint peeling off, but with shiney allow wheels. Ghastly.
Cool overall reply :)
Exactly......... Does they look like a chav could afford the wheels on those cars, let alone the rest of it.. :lol: No chance. I'd say that Red BMW i posted probably had about $30,000 at least spent on it. At the VERY least as well!!!
As for this Lexus light thing, like someone said, not everyones the same...
90% of modified car owners will laugh at Lexus lights as they should only be seen on a Lexus..... They all look SO bad.....
AC Cobra, pah, frame with a silly big engine....... Can do that with other cars, but make them go round corners and stop as well :wink: One of those cars that holds its value for no real reason (IMO of course)......
TVR Tracey, u'd like my GF's paint colour, its TVR :lol: (ahhh remembers days of sitting in TVR garages checking paint charts)
Filipe M.
21-07-06, 01:23 PM
AC Cobra, pah, frame with a silly big engine....... Can do that with other cars, but make them go round corners and stop as well :wink: One of those cars that holds its value for no real reason (IMO of course)......
And you call yourself a Petrolhead?! :shock: ;) :lol:
AC Cobra, pah, frame with a silly big engine....... Can do that with other cars, but make them go round corners and stop as well :wink: One of those cars that holds its value for no real reason (IMO of course)......
And you call yourself a Petrolhead?! :shock: ;) :lol:
I was thinking the same thing myself! :shock:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v607/skip665/Icons/avatar.gif
http://www.auto-zimmerli.ch/foto%20album/AC_Cobra_427big.jpg
TVR_Tracy
21-07-06, 06:02 PM
http://www.auto-zimmerli.ch/foto%20album/AC_Cobra_427big.jpg
See, absolutely stunning :-) and always driven by great looking older men 8) 8)
Nothing wrong with BMW's!!! although wouldn't touch the bikes with YOUR barge pole let alone mine!!.... YUCK!!
Cars.... I prefer the 7 series myself! Luverly!! =P~
If I could have any car I'd definately have a BMW and definately NOT the hatchback they just look PANTS!! :puker:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Why all the hate for BMWs?
Skip (BMW owner :oops: )
They are *yawn* and EVERYONE has one, and those that do think they own the road.... :twisted:
Amen :lol: :lol: :lol:
(Don't hate me, it's only one persons opinion)
I DO OWN THE ROAD! :twisted:
AC Cobra, pah, frame with a silly big engine....... Can do that with other cars, but make them go round corners and stop as well :wink: One of those cars that holds its value for no real reason (IMO of course)......
And you call yourself a Petrolhead?! :shock: ;) :lol:
Its american, over-weighted, not enough braking power, it doesn't handle AT ALL, it shakes so much your back falls out your butt.
Regarded by many americans and engine lovers a great car, but as a drivers car, its totally usless.
Put the engine into a decent handling chassis and i may be interested.
PLus I personnally think it looks nasty. Never have seen the big fascination with them...
No good on track.
Good on the road, but theres faster.
Better looking cars about
Better sounding cars about..
IMO of course.
8)
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