Blocked it - what to do...

[wyrdness]

Some git at work keeps parking their car in front of the bike bay, blocking our bikes in. Today s/he has totally blocked my bike, so that I can't get it out. He/She is doing it deliberately, as there are other places to park. What do people suggest that I do about this? Some ideas so far are:

Steal his windscreen wipers every time he does this.
Try to manouver bike out, ensuring that car paintwork is scratched by pillion peg or can.

Any other suggestions?

[Filipe M.]

Some git at work keeps parking their car in front of the bike bay, blocking our bikes in. Today s/he has totally blocked my bike, so that I can't get it out. He/She is doing it deliberately, as there are other places to park. What do people suggest that I do about this? Some ideas so far are:

Steal his windscreen wipers every time he does this.
Try to manouver bike out, ensuring that car paintwork is scratched by pillion peg or can.

Any other suggestions?

The tought of empty tyres springs to mind. Then ask him politely to remove his car as you need to go out...

[timwilky]

Leave it on bricks minus wheels, if you can't go home, neither can they

[amnesia]

Find out who it is and get your personnel department monkeys to tie them to a chair and shine a bright table lamp in their eyes, while asking them lots of personal questions and threatening to pull their teeth out with rusty pliers.


Failing that just let their tyres down. Just make sure you can get out first! :lol:

[Baph]

Potato up the exhaust... salt (or is it sugar?) in the fuel tank. Tyres minus air, car minus tyres (but litle point in removing air first).

Failing that, almax chain your bike to their car tyre, then wait for them to come & tell you why they're parked there.

[Viney]

A note on the Widscreen
Tell personel/Security
Get a supermoto and ride over the car
If its not on private ground, call the police and ask for them to remove it, which they will.
Expanding foam up the exhaust...evil stuff!

[TSM]

get a tyre valve extractor

[wyrdness]

A note on the Widscreen
Tell personel/Security
Get a supermoto and ride over the car
If its not on private ground, call the police and ask for them to remove it, which they will.
Expanding foam up the exhaust...evil stuff!

It's a private car park, so police can't do anything.

Here's a photo, taken with dodgy cameraphone:

http://wyrdness.org/images/68pe0009.jpg

The hatched area is very clearly marked 'NO PARKING' in huge letters.
Security put a note on his windscreen every time he does it. There's one on it now - you can see it in the photo. He ignores them and parks there at least once a week.

[tricky]

Perhaps not doing it maliciously, just stupid/lazy ?

Have a word with personel / security, failing that hang around and to see who it his and "have a word"

If none of that works, just slide underneath the car and smear **** on the exhaust manifold :twisted:

[Filipe M.]

Get a strong rope and tie his left back wheel to the nearest pillar, with plenty of slack... Take care so that said rope doesn't hit any bike when it stretches. :lol:

[DoubleD]

brake fluid poured over car has a nice effect.... :twisted:

or ring up a tow place and get the car towed.... :twisted:

[Kilted Ginger]

Air out of 2 tyres, (means he has to walk to garage to reinflate,
window wipers removed and left on bonnet (not damaged or stolen)
Wing mirrors removed and left on bonet (not damaged or stolen)
cable tie all 4 wheel trims onto one wheel, hell have to cut them appart before driving off.

Get very adhesive a4 sheets and print up , "warning parked, incorrectly" notices and cover his rear door windows and quarterlights with them, not any paintwork, windscreen, front windows or rear window though as this is illeagle.

Alternatively find out who he / she is and have a (ahem) quiet word or report them to personell for intimidating and bullying tactics if you dont like confrontation.

Last one , only one that he would have any recourse over, slide under and snip handbrake cable then push car out onto street and report it abbandoned.

[TSM]

Why not just get some metal bins, fill them with concret and place them at the entrace, bikes can pass but not the car. And if he moves it then he is realy doing it on purpose.

[Sudoxe]

Do a burn out
Wait until they turn up
Do another one.
Call them a C**T and headbut them
Steal keys, drive car into wall.
Ride home.

Dan

[Red ones]

Go to security say politely what has happened.
When they laugh at you, repeat the problem and ask them to investigate.
When they laugh again and sit down having done nothing, throw a wobbly about how f****ing useles a piece of meat the guy is and how the request would have been taken if you drive an f****ing car, citing the example of when the same happened to his bosses f***ing car. Use lots of swearing in front of his boss and get told to calm down.

Stomp off back to your desk.

When his boss comes storming down the corridor demanding an apology, refuse and repeat that when they had a problem with their car it was immediately investigated and reported on. Just because you ride a bike it is seen as a laughing matter and that his response was wholly inappropriate and caused the whole episode.
Refuse to apologise again.




It worked for me.

[wyrdness]

Perhaps not doing it maliciously, just stupid/lazy ?

Have a word with personel / security, failing that hang around and to see who it his and "have a word"

If none of that works, just slide underneath the car and smear sh*t on the exhaust manifold :twisted:

I had a word with security yesterday. They can't / won't do anything except leave notes on peoples windscreens, which are ignored.

We used to put cones in the bike bays at night. Drivers would come in early, remove the cones and park in the bay. Their windscreen wipers would then mysteriously vanish :twisted:

[Sudoxe]

Smash window, turn off handbrake.
Push car foward.

[Kate]

That is unbelievable!

It definitely can't be towed away? The owners have to do something!

[454697819]

seriously i would......

try and have a word, if they do it again, find a friend with a car stick some oile under the tyres and pull the car out of the way, if you do it carfully enuff there will be no damage, it will make a point thats for sure....

no neeed to get violent,... keep moving the car every time they do it... theyll get the message... :lol:

[Filipe M.]

Well... on a more serious(-ish) note, it's only a Puma. How many bikes are being blocked? 3, 4? Get all bikers together and push the damn car forward or, even sideways, so that it becomes an obstruction for something else... The Puma is a relatively light car, you can push it sideways alone if you know how to (rotating over an imaginary axle through the middle of the front wheels). Not easy, but it can be done.

[Filipe M.]

seriously i would......

try and have a word, if they do it again, find a friend with a car stick some oile under the tyres and pull the car out of the way, if you do it carfully enuff there will be no damage, it will make a point thats for sure....

no neeed to get violent,... keep moving the car every time they do it... theyll get the message... :lol:

Oil under the tyres will make it interesting for the bikes ;)

[Red ones]

Ask Security why they haven't investigated applying for an SIA Clamping licence and making some money out of the driver?


(Luckily I know some licenced clampers and I have my licence too)

[Demonz]

Leave a note again and point out how easily it can be damaged when the bikes are taken out. Please dont park here again etc.

If he does it again - take your pick at what evil deed to undertake.

[timwilky]

Well... on a more serious(-ish) note, it's only a Puma. How many bikes are being blocked? 3, 4? Get all bikers together and push the damn car forward or, even sideways, so that it becomes an obstruction for something else... The Puma is a relatively light car, you can push it sideways alone if you know how to (rotating over an imaginary axle through the middle of the front wheels). Not easy, but it can be done.

Yes just a few of you bounce it somewhere silly so that it obstructs the car drivers. even better behind MDs car etc.

[wyrdness]

Well... on a more serious(-ish) note, it's only a Puma. How many bikes are being blocked? 3, 4? Get all bikers together and push the damn car forward or, even sideways, so that it becomes an obstruction for something else... The Puma is a relatively light car, you can push it sideways alone if you know how to (rotating over an imaginary axle through the middle of the front wheels). Not easy, but it can be done.

Yes just a few of you bounce it somewhere silly so that it obstructs the car drivers. even better behind MDs car etc.

I only know one of the other people who park in this bay, so forcibly shifting the car is out of the question.

[Flamin_Squirrel]

get a tyre valve extractor

Best idea yet. Their tyres will be flat, and they'll have no idea why they arent re-inflating when they try to pump them up again :twisted:

[UlsterSV]

Leave that photo of you in your Rocky Horror gear on his windscreen with a note telling them you've seen them around and will be waiting for them next time they park there. Would be a very brave man/woman to dare tempt that fate :lol:

[Godikus]

Get a few strong mates and lift the car into a space it would be impossible to ever manouver out of. It took me and 3 mates to lift a mini so it should't take too many to lift that thing. try to place it so there is a concrete piller/wall about 1 inch from the front and the rear of the car. make sure you don't drop or damage it. the look on there face will be well worth it. trust me.

[Jabba]

I'd have a word with the owner first (I assume you know or can find out who it is).

If that doesn't work have a word with the other bikers and get together to "bounce" the car out of the way.

Sounds like a bit of a tosser to me.

[fizzwheel]

Stick postit notes over the windscreen it'll take ages to remove them all...

Failing that just wait for the person who keeps parking there to come back to move there car and have a word with them.

Or ring up the police and say that a cars been abandoned in your work carpark and it looks dodgy and you think it might be stolen...

[Stingo]

All of the above and post your photo of his/her arrogance on as many websites/forums as possible. Isn't their some sort of offence being commited by parking on the hatching?

[timwilky]

The security people at the last place I worked at would under the wipers note for first offence, then paste the note to the screen on subsequent offences.

Nobody ever had a 3rd offence

[socommk23]

stick dog pooh under the door handle!!!!!!!

[CheekyLemon]

stick dog pooh under the door handle!!!!!!!

Hell yeah!

Or lean some nails against the tyres, so they all burst when he drives off! (Should also have moved enough to let you out by then as well).

I also liked the idea of smashing the window to let the handbrake off. He wont do it again I wouldn't have thought.

[Skiddy]

Might be a silly question, but have you tried just pushing it as it is? He's parked on the flat so he might not even have the handbrake on that hard and you might be able to push it against the brakes.

[squirrel_hunter]

Tyres minus air, car minus tyres.


Tyres minus car :lol:

Failing that if Security don't do anything about the car parking there why don't you park there first?

That way only the bikes can get in and out and everyones happy.

Other than that I would hang around and have a word with the driver, nothing agressive just be very nice to them. That way if they do it again the deserve everything they get :twisted:

[Red ones]

http://wyrdness.org/images/68pe0009.jpg


Intranet? Post the pic on it!

has it an alarm? Blat the throttle - by the looks of it you are close enough!!!!

[andy]

How about the simplest one so far.

Just start your bike and leave it running, make sure the exhaust is near his paintwork - I am sure 10 mins of that will start to make a nice permanent mark.....

[Biker Biggles]

Remove the car's numberplates,then report it as suspicious to the bill.
If none of that works,brake fluid is your best mate.

[carlos]

Borrow a friend's elephant and let them practice their wrestling moves on it :lol:

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40814000/jpg/_40814433_elephant203getty.jpg

In all seriousness its amazing how anybody can be so ignorant and selfish. I had a similar problem at my work about 2 years ago. What i did was take my car into work instead that week and park it diagonally across their section's allocated parking spaces and leave it there until they complained. It took them 4 days to approach me but when they did I told them how their constant blocking of the bike park was not only inconsiderate but that it was also risking causing an accident, and how I would stop parking there when they agree to not block us in anymore. Worked in the end, but if it hadn't I think the dog jank under the handles would have been the decider.

:D

[Razor]

Dry wall screws in the rear tyres, they give a nice slow leak and they come in black so they're harder to spot.

[TSM]

Now everyone is condoning criminal damage to the car, i think my idea is better as it does no damage and nothing has to be replaced, just tightened up again. He would get the point fairly quickly.

[Chabbychang]

I can't beleive all the suggestions........crap on doorhandle/manifold, expanda foam in exhaust (like that one!!) letting tyres down, windscreen wipers off, brake fluid....etc etc.......

The problem is, is you 'talk' to the owner and ask them nicely not to park there and they ignore you, you can't do any of the above because they would know its you!!!!!

They are onviously taking the p**s by repeatingly parking there. Every once in a while you have to just seize the day...feel the fear and do it anyway.

Any of the above would work, I would wait for him and just walk away...leaving them lying there .....:twisted: But; if its a gal, get there number and if you have a pillion seat bring them into work - problem solved and a legover as a bonus!!!!!

Rei

Chabbychang aka Sensei Troy.

[BILLY]

Get there number plate made up for your bike and go past a GATSO at 100mph 20 times :twisted:

[Blue Flame]

OK Here's a different angle to take.

You say the car park is private. does that mean it is solely owned or leased by the company you work for?

If so and your company has a Health & Safety Manager raise a Hazard report with him/her indicating the likelihood of self injury when trying to manoeuvre out of the car park. If company doesn't act to resolve then they are failing in their duty of care for their employees and are leaving themselves open.

Simply saying to you not to try to move your bike is not good enough. The first step should always be to remove the hazard completely if possible (In this case the car) and this is achievable by enforcement of company rules and poss disciplinary action on the offending employee.

Even if it is not owned or leased solely by your company you can still take similar steps with the car park owners.

[Steve H]

Do a burn out
Wait until they turn up
Do another one.
Call them a C**T and headbut them
Steal keys, drive car into wall.
Ride home.

Dan

This is the text book answer! :wink:

[Red ones]

Seriously. Why is the bay marked up as No Parking? Is it to maintain clear access for the Emergency Services? If so point it out to H&S, Security, anybody in authority, a H&S rep. etc.


I had a similar with vans parking in keep clear areas, spoke to the owners of the vans - no action. By coincidence (at it truly was) we had an incident on site within 15 minutes that required 3 Fire Engines, 3 ambulances, 5 Police vehicles (and a helicopter on stand by). It is quite surprising how rude you can be at these times and get away with it.

The alternative I use is to land a clamp on the ground near the car. (Nice frightener)

[Red ones]

Do a burn out
Wait until they turn up
Do another one.
Call them a C**T and headbut them
Steal keys, drive car into wall.
Ride home.

Dan

This is the text book answer! :wink:



That's in Roadcraft IIRC

[PsychoCannon]

Pff if he's making an obstruction parking somewhere he shouldn't even when there are other places open then I would have 0 problem forcing my bike out whatever it took even if it mean accidently taking out his headlights, bumper, or paintwork.
(The car of course wouldn't be road legal if he lost a light or indicator in the course of people forcing their bikes out by his car and could be reported if he drove it in again the next day.)

[PeterM]

Is the car a manual or auto? If its a manual and they don't park it in gear you could acquire a trolley jack and go to work one day in your car. Place the trolley jack under the rear of the car, lift tyres clear of ground and move the thing anywhere you like!

Anothr option is to write something in epoxy glue on their windows/windscreen and cover it with plain paper while still wet. By the time they get to their car and remove the paper, the glue should have dried leaving said paper firmly attached in the shape of whatever message you left for them.

For the more mechanically minded you could adjust the handbrake to the point where it doesn't work anymore, even remove a propshaft to make any forward progress exceptionally difficult. The easy one for this is to get some large bricks placed under the lower mounting arm of the front hub assembly, this should see the tyres just out of contact with the road but not perceiveable to the casual glance. I've done that one at a couple of weddings and it works a treat.

[shao]

I had much the same problem with a guy parking a van blocking my driveway. I left a note on the windscreen to the effect that it would be "hard for me to avoid" significant scratches/damage to his paintowrk if he didnt leave me enough room. He hasnt parked there since.

[BillyC]

Your security people should have clamps... make sure they use them!

Alternatively - buy a clamp, clamp the car, make £100! :lol: :twisted:

[454697819]

Your security people should have clamps... make sure they use them!

Alternatively - buy a clamp, clamp the car, make £100! :lol: :twisted:

yeah but then they cant push it out of the way....

clamp it once he realises he shoudl be parking elsewhere.. sounds good! :lol:

[stuartyboy]

Send big Vern round to have him kneecapped.

Seriously though H&S report.

[Sir Trev]

I'm not surprised that little piece of paper under the wiper is ignored! Our security lot used to paste the notes onto the front screen and drivers door - as long as it dried before the offender got back it was a real sod to pick off so they didn't do it again. But - the cars would drive around for weeks with most of it still affixed and they're not allowed to do it any more in case they get sued for obstructing a drivers vision. Same for clamps - they're not allowed to use them in case they damage the vehicle.

Of course.... you could always paste the note to the screen yourself if security won't. Just check for CCTV first.

Personally I would make a lot of fuss about the H&S implications first if the driver is ignoring requests.

[Mogs]

do all the non destructive stuff. All this talk about damaging his car is fun, but is not going to help you, he knows who you are, or at the very least knows you're one of the bikers, it would be easy to retaliate by pushing a bike over and does lots of damage. Next time you park do so in a way that forces him to park further out, that will give you the room to manouver.

[Grinch]

Just print the picture out with
'Do you know who drives this car as he can't read and I want to know how he got his lisence'.
And post it all around the office.

[jambo]

Leave notes under their windscreen wipers. Make them Noticable (A0 or similar should fill the screen) notes saying "This is a bike bay, You are not a bike" You can get huge bits of backing paper for pennies from WH Smiths?

Other than that I like the letting tyres down idea :lol:

[SoulKiss]

Just print the picture out with
'Do you know who drives this car as he can't read and I want to know how he got his licence'.
And post it all around the office.

You will of course spell-check any notes you attach to the note.

Of course attach it to an email and send it to the "everyone in the company" mail address/list.

I would however be careful of wording if you do this.

You could go with something along the lines of

"I am trying to find out who drives the car in this picture as they constantly are blocking the spaces allotted for Motorcycles, and have failed to respond to notes left on their windscreen.

While I would prefer them not to park there due to the difficulty of manoeuvring a heavy motorcycle out of said bays without damaging their vehicle, I would settle for a mobile phone number so that I can ring to have the car moved whenever I need to get my motorcycle out of the bay.

Please email me [your email address here] or call me on [your work number here] to discuss a resolution of the situation.

Thanks

[your name]"

Should be enough to get it sorted out - shows you to be willing to go for a reasonable compromise, but will probably have the effect of it being resolved.

If you end up in the compromise, keep a track of how many times you have to wait to get the bike out, and if its too high, re-negotiate as the compromise "just doesn't work" - by then you will know who they are and who their boss is :)

Just a thought

David

[Grinch]

Sounds like a nice sensible plan to me... it also names and shame while making you sound like the nice reasonable willing party.

[SoulKiss]

Sounds like a nice sensible plan to me... it also names and shame while making you sound like the nice reasonable willing party.

Always go into a negotiation in public looking like the sheep - even if you are the wolf, let the other party back themselves into a corner and if they get nasty, then you can be the "hurt innocent party that was just trying to sort things out"

Office Politics 101 :)

David

[Spiderman]

I personally like all the options that trash the car.... but i also like our mate Wyrdness and would hate to see him on the wrong side of the law because of some inconsiderate tw@ who basicaly got waht was comming to him.

Follow the advice of sticking things on glass as that cant be clssed as "damage" to a vehicle.
Also letting the air out all of the tyres would ensure he's there for quite a while, even if he has a compressor in his boot. And if he dont then thats a fair few trips to the local petrol station for air.


People like this really REALLY annoy me tho. As you said its clearly marked out and he's had notes from secuirty for it before yet he still sees it as his god given right to ignore all that and act like a ****. For that i would happily punch him in the nose :D


From another point of view..... he maybe trying to get the car damaged for some reason or he may be trying to make a point to his bosses about thee not being enough spaces for him to park in by the time he arrives and now he's having to "cause problems for those nice biker boys n girls cos its the only place i can squeeze in to".
I'd be tempted to talk clamly to him and try and resolve it, but i'm also aware that this type of knob isnt going to say "Oh dear, i am soooo sorry. I didnt realise and will never do it again" and if thats not what i hear i'd be swinging for him.... so if youre like me its probably best to avoid face to face confrontation ;)

Keep us posted tho, i'd like to know where this goes and how its resolved.

[LondonLad]

why not do a bit of surveilance - find out what time he/she leaves work, and then have as many biker mates as possible all parked round their car. black visors revving engines. if that doesnt work.............










































http://www.scsgearbox.com/admin/images/Monster%20truck/samson-06-500.jpg

[CoolGirl]

I had similar issues when I used to park my bike in our work car park (underground, in the winter - niiiiice).

anyway, using the office car park is a privilege, unless it's a conmpany car (whihc I doubt from the photo). Aside from the H&S issues mentioned above, if that privilege is abused, it ough to be removed. Having not heeded polite requests, this should be escalated to personnel. After all, you're being kept at work against your will!

Worked for me - person got banned from car park and I got home on time.

[Stu]

Sounds like a nice sensible plan to me... it also names and shame while making you sound like the nice reasonable willing party.

Always go into a negotiation in public looking like the sheep - even if you are the wolf, let the other party back themselves into a corner and if they get nasty, then you can be the "hurt innocent party that was just trying to sort things out"

Office Politics 101 :)

David Brent

[ethariel]

All of the above are nice, however if you work in a big building, complain to the H&S Rep and then complain again to security stating it is a H&S risk and ask them for the log number (feel free to just throw it away but it will worry them for a while).

As an utter last resort, an anonymous call to the local Fire Station stating that the carpark is overfull and drivers are flaunting H&S signage, also that security and management are turning a blind eye will make the doggie poo really hit the fan.

Colin

[MR K]

Playing a bit of devil's advocate but wouldn't you be better off not doing anthing too drastic? As stupid as he/she may be, they will realise pretty quickly that the damage is from a bike owner and then they could just take it out on your bike - cutting cables, pushing them over etc.

I know it doesnt really help you out but it potentially saves your bike from getting damaged. I think the best suggestion would just be to park slightly outside the motorcycle bay (i.e. where the left hand side of his car is). Then, even if the car is there, you can always roll back into the bay and go out by the side.

Or you could just inflict some serious damage on his car...

[jonboy99]

Cause damage to the car and it won't be long before your bike gets trashed and the cops get involved or someone gets hurt.

Find out who it is (DVLA should give details from numberplate if work won't help), talk to them and if they're unreasonable, err complain through the company and say you're unable to get to work if you can't get home again, or possibly try police for harrassment as last resort possibly.

[drumwrecker]

When I was in the London fire Brigade training at Southwark someone parked over the fire hydrant cover so we bumped the car into an alcove so there was a wall a foot from his front and back bumpers. I still don't know how he got out.

[Sir Trev]

How about getting two willing colleagues to park their cars RIGHT up to the offenders bumpers. Blocking them in will make them realise how annoying it is. You'd have to keep an eye out of course to avoid anoying anyone innocent you'd be blocking in, or make sure that they're in on it too.

[CortezTheKiller]

Get a whiteboard marker and scrawl 'Move your ****ing car you c**t' over the bonnet. It looks like permanent marker...will give the driver the message. Just make sure you don't get seen by the CCTV.

Alternatively, wait by the car and chin the driver.

[Red ones]

As an utter last resort, an anonymous call to the local Fire Station stating that the carpark is overfull and drivers are flaunting H&S signage, also that security and management are turning a blind eye will make the doggie poo really hit the fan.

Colin

With the Regulatory Reform changes on Sundays this will not work! (RR(FO) comes into force on 1st October and moves the responsibility to the Employer / Controller of Premises) It will be up to the Controller of the Premises to make a Risk Assessment and decide whether this is acceptable. The role of the Fire Officer changes remarkably and will no longer holder the same powers as previously. The FO will become more of a polkiceman role but will only refer to the Controllers Risk Assessment in the vast majority of cases. The long and short of it is the call to the FO will in all likelihood be fruitless.

[Warthog]

I HATE people like this, and as much as I would like to say go axe-happy on his car, I'd suggest:

1: Try to find out who it is and have a polite word in person.
2: If not, the polite note and picture all round office email and noticeboards, acting like the victim.
3: If not, get bosses, police, fire and army involved.
4: If all that fails, get a biker gang.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[curium]

I would pop along to kinkos or someother print shop and get an A4 Sticky notice made up and pointing out the error of their ways and stick it on the windscreen. If they persist, stick one on the paintwork.

I also like the idea of leaving your bike to warm up with the exhaust very close to his paintwork. Any damage can easily be explained away as accidental, you weren't to know blah blah blah.

[Jester666]

Do a burn out
Wait until they turn up
Do another one.
Call them a C**T and headbut them
Steal keys, drive car into wall.
Ride home.

Dan

:winner:

Or just wait for them and point out that they are an illiterate, mouth breathing, knuckle scraping excuse for a human being that has no more right to live on Gods good Earth than a germ! And then squish them!! :lol:

[DoubleD]

So what have you done to the pooor car?????

and have you been blocked in again??

[viner]

letting air out of the tyres is a criminal offence - stealing air!!!!!