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cuffy
17-10-06, 04:28 PM
A talented young lad (Simon) turns up on the doorsteps of the TV studio wishing to audition for "stars in thier eyes" Once the producers had heard the boy sing they were in awe of his voice and didn't hesitate putting him into saturdays show.

The night of the show came and the contestants were all back stage getting ready, fine tuning there voices and getting the look a like make up applied.
Then it was time for our Simon to take stage....he walks on to great applause and is greeted by the host Matthew Kelly, a bit of idle chit chat takes place and then Matthew asks who he's going to be....too which our intreppid young hero breaks down in tears, after a consolling him the lad asks if he can tell a bit of a tragic story.
So he proceeds to tell Matthew and the audience....

"Last year myself and my Uncle Jim went on a safari to Kenya, whilst trekking across the savana we were confronted by a pride of lions, we both froze as they started circling us, My brave uncle said he'd make a decoy in order for me too escape...so he started waving his arms around and then sprinted off, all the lions but one chased after him and mauled him to death whilst i was left to fight off the single lion, which eventually cost me my right arm, left leg, both ears and my nose.
As fortune would have it i was picked up by the local tribe and taken off to the village where the witch doctor manged to find my uncles remains and sew on his arm, leg, ears and nose."

The lad starts crying again after dragging up such an emotional story.

The audience are crying.

Matthew Kellys crying.
Matthew then asks who are you going to be?

"Tonight Matthew i'm going to be...........




SIMON AND HALF UNCLE"

:notworthy: :takeabow:

I IS BACK :lol:

Filipe M.
17-10-06, 04:33 PM
:smt082 :smt082 :smt082

ArtyLady
17-10-06, 04:37 PM
ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! :roll: :roll: :lol:

furrybean
17-10-06, 04:54 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Very good

Richie
17-10-06, 05:04 PM
:D Dohhhh... should have see that coming... very good.

Jdubya
17-10-06, 05:11 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Looks like I'm going to need to dig deeper in my vault :twisted:

thor
17-10-06, 05:17 PM
Oh. My. God.

Stingo
17-10-06, 05:23 PM
You are indeed the 'comedy meister'! :lol: :lol: :lol:

anna
17-10-06, 05:30 PM
GROAN...... here he goes again! :roll:

Law
17-10-06, 05:46 PM
Took me 2 reads of the punch line to get it.

Well done you have managed to beat Jdubya for the title of Worst org comedian with one joke. True genius!!

Tara
17-10-06, 05:49 PM
:lol:

Jdubya
17-10-06, 05:57 PM
Well done you have managed to beat Jdubya for the title of Worst org comedian with one joke. True genius!!

I'll be back...

Razor
17-10-06, 08:04 PM
http://usera.imagecave.com/hondalover/voices.jpg

Beenz
17-10-06, 08:17 PM
I should have expected this :lol: :lol: :lol:

Stu
17-10-06, 10:43 PM
Another fang (lion geddit!) tastic joke :lol: :lol: :lol:

Marshall
18-10-06, 11:43 AM
:o

that was BAD

Spiderman
18-10-06, 01:08 PM
I quite liked that. :shock:


I think there must be something wrong with me ;)

Moo
18-10-06, 04:14 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

falc
18-10-06, 04:41 PM
:roll: :roll: truly the king of awful jokes :lol: