View Full Version : If you had a gren card to make any security system you want.
PsychoCannon
18-10-06, 08:51 PM
If you had the green light to design and implement any security system you wanted for your bike, be it on the bike, a way to secure it, or somewhere to store it..what would you do ;)
In light of the number of thefts and vandalism recently (myself a victim) I've been dreaming up all sorts of ways I'd like to secure my bike, some practical...like almax chains and CCTV....some....more amusing :)
Just wondered what you lot could dream up :)
I know the wiring your bike up to the mains is a pretty common dream :)
I'm also liking the south african approach
http://www.gettingit.com/article/69
El Saxo
18-10-06, 08:52 PM
ED-209 with the bugs ironed out :twisted: :twisted:
Warthog
18-10-06, 08:54 PM
Chain it to a baboon, that can also ride pillion when you leave.
PsychoCannon
18-10-06, 08:56 PM
ED-209 with the bugs ironed out :twisted: :twisted:
Those are some serious bugs ;)
Baboon...dammit why didn't I think of that :(
Surround it with trip mines. Wait, I haven't thought this through properly.
KITT style computer 8)
timwilky
18-10-06, 09:10 PM
Clone the wife and place her by my bike.
She scares me away from my own bike. So god knows how any crook would have the guts to try to get past her.
El Saxo
18-10-06, 09:13 PM
Clone the wife and place her by my bike.
She scares me away from my own bike. So god knows how any crook would have the guts to try to get past her.
:winner:
PMSL!!!
Ceri JC
18-10-06, 09:52 PM
Hydraulic ram with a barbed spike on it that burst out of the seat into the crotch of the rider.
El Saxo
18-10-06, 09:58 PM
Hydraulic ram with a barbed spike on it that burst out of the seat into the crotch of the rider.
Ouch!
Problem is, I'm quite prone to setting off my own alarm, so maybe I'd better just rely on a good old fashioned lock & chain!! :oops: :lol:
james160987
18-10-06, 10:17 PM
chains come out from soenwhere, engulf the thief and hes stick there till you get back,
kinda reminds me of the program swag
they got a trck with dvd players in it, left the door open, thief came in to nick a dvd player, they closed the truck up, pulled the sides down to it looked like a cage and drove through the streets annoncing this guy was a thief
Somewhat realistic possability...
QTC perimeter linked via encoded RF to the bike's immobiliser. Set the perimeter warning off, and you cant start the bike. In the case of it getting lifted, that's more tricky. Only realistic solution I've seen is a GPS/GPRS via GSM/VHF/UHF tracker, and they're actually mighty expensive, but even tell you where they are inside locked metal containers.
Unrealistically, and ideally, kind of related to the above, only not a spike, a generator tied into the engine that kicks roughly 5000V at something silly like 40kW through the bars and framework. Touch my bike & die fool!
Also, an idea I had from a previous project of mine, alarm linked to a mobile phone. Alarm sets off, phone establishes a connection to you (after connecting via GPRS to send an email alert). If the connection fails, you can always dial into it. The phone is then linked back to the bike controls, and is able to kill the engine, start it, accellerate, brake, alter steering position, maybe even change gears... all via DTMF. That could have Health & Safety implications in today's PC world (not the computer shop!) though. "Bike kills theft trying to steal it" Granted what they deserve, but the legalities of it?
If anyone does have some spare cash to secure a bike, I've designed buildings security systems before now, so wouldn't complain at a crack at a vehicle system :)
Red ones
19-10-06, 04:51 AM
I would put the key in a safe, in a plastic bag, wrapped up in an old t-shirt and put the whole lot in the toolbox in front of the rear suspension.
I read ED-209, but I thought RoboSapien. Is that close enough?
A large wattage power invertor wired to the frame.
MIB dummy driver 8)
Ignition switch to the tank so when they hot-wire it, it will blow up
mercury switched bomb, works like car alarm the switches off when being towed except it triggers a flame thrower instead.
I could go on but anything that would cause permanent injury or decapitation
Actually, this is an interesting idea. To prevent bike crime, you have to make it difficult, or unappealing. Their are two types of bike crime.
1. Vandalism/theft of parts
2. Theft of entire bike.
So here are my ideas
1
A good alarm, with an electric shock system with suitable audible warnings.
A steel wire reinforced cover, attached to the bike at several points.
2.
A good alarm, only this time after a certain period the bike explodes a smoke bomb. This releases a dense cloud of smoke that is impossible to see through, filling the cab of the van it's now in, and preventing the theives from driving.
A good alarm that explodes a dye pack, idelibly marking the theirves and van it's now in.
An obscenly large ground anchor that locks directly to the bike frame. I'm thinking a 3" thick reinforced loop that you park over, and turn to lock into the bike frame. Cut the loop and you'll be there hours, cut the frame and the bike is significantly degraded in value.
Any good?
SoulKiss
19-10-06, 08:46 AM
3 Stages to security
1) Visable Notification of security system.
This is achieved using lasers and cameras, probably 4 units.
The lasers draw a pattern (box, grid) on the ground - pattern is adaptive.
When pattern is 1st initialised or after a change the camera system learns what the pattern should look like. and any change to this pattern will trigger alert.
Pattern changes at random intervals.
2) Warning
Spoken warning that "The alarm system is alarmed, please step away from the vehicle" accompanied by a beep every 2 seconds for 20 seconds - not enough to annoy the neighbours but so that anyone nearby knows the system is in stage 2
Lights under the bike come on illuminating it - making it obvious that the bike is "unhappy"
3) Activated
All hell breaks loose - the lights that came on low now strobe, sirens sound, the voice tells them to "Step away from the Vehicle NOW!" would probably stop short of playing MP3's of automatic gun-fire tho.
Alarm armed/disarmed in usual manner - ie Key-Fob.
I would just like to offer this thread some love, peace & happiness.
I would offer a hug to anyone that wanted to nick my bike, thereby allwoing them to see the error of their ways & being a reformed & productive member of society.
Hugs, people. It's the way forward.
SoulKiss
19-10-06, 08:54 AM
I would just like to offer this thread some love, peace & happiness.
I would offer a hug to anyone that wanted to nick my bike, thereby allwoing them to see the error of their ways & being a reformed & productive member of society.
Hugs, people. It's the way forward.
I think the real Kinvig is in a space ship in orbit being an@lly probed as we speak.
Certainly it seems like thats what this replicant needs :P
More on tracker chips.
Then set up and a bike bound security hit squad that is responsible for busting the crooks - not the cops. I.e. Use other bikers to track down the crooks.
Offer the security business out as a business franchise so it can become national network of bikers looking out for bikers.
I would pay for the security chip if I knew other bikers were actively out looking for my bike as soon as it had been nicked. I would also be happy to go out and track down a bike if I knew it was in my area.
Alpinestarhero
19-10-06, 09:43 AM
I would have a containment room that rose from the ground, surrounding both my bike and the theif upon it being tripped.
Then, using a chemical reaction, toxic gasses would fill the resulting room, suffoctaing and potentialy killing the theiving bastered.
Or something like that
Matt
I would just like to offer this thread some love, peace & happiness.
I would offer a hug to anyone that wanted to nick my bike, thereby allwoing them to see the error of their ways & being a reformed & productive member of society.
Hugs, people. It's the way forward.
*slaps Kinvig again*
Anyway, something that eletricutes so that you can see the bodies when you return to the bike.
*wanders back to the grumpy thread*
More on tracker chips.
Then set up and a bike bound security hit squad that is responsible for busting the crooks - not the cops. I.e. Use other bikers to track down the crooks.
Offer the security business out as a business franchise so it can become national network of bikers looking out for bikers.
I would pay for the security chip if I knew other bikers were actively out looking for my bike as soon as it had been nicked. I would also be happy to go out and track down a bike if I knew it was in my area.
Oh - and do a deal with someone like Tom Tom - when a vehicle is stolen it comes up on a Tom Tom device of anyone registered as a Vehicle Tracker located in that area and directs people to its location - People power.
I would just like to offer this thread some love, peace & happiness.
I would offer a hug to anyone that wanted to nick my bike, thereby allwoing them to see the error of their ways & being a reformed & productive member of society.
Hugs, people. It's the way forward.
*slaps Kinvig again*
Anyway, something that eletricutes so that you can see the bodies when you return to the bike.
*wanders back to the grumpy thread*
Love & hugs, Kate!
I would just like to offer this thread some love, peace & happiness.
I would offer a hug to anyone that wanted to nick my bike, thereby allwoing them to see the error of their ways & being a reformed & productive member of society.
Hugs, people. It's the way forward.
I think the real Kinvig is in a space ship in orbit being an@lly probed as we speak.
Certainly it seems like thats what this replicant needs :P
That is *sooo* wrong that I'm sending you vibes of love & peace right now! Right, now boys & girls look deep within your heart chakras......
SoulKiss
19-10-06, 10:01 AM
You coming to Soho tomorrow Kinvig
*packs d-lock and chains for intervention*
David
You coming to Soho tomorrow Kinvig
*packs d-lock and chains for intervention*
David
Aye, why not. Hang on.....Not sure about the chains & D-Lock? So, guys meeting guys from t'inter-web wearing leather in Soho Square on a Friday night......Erm, hmmm, erm?
More on tracker chips.
Then set up and a bike bound security hit squad that is responsible for busting the crooks - not the cops. I.e. Use other bikers to track down the crooks.
Offer the security business out as a business franchise so it can become national network of bikers looking out for bikers.
I would pay for the security chip if I knew other bikers were actively out looking for my bike as soon as it had been nicked. I would also be happy to go out and track down a bike if I knew it was in my area.
Oh - and do a deal with someone like Tom Tom - when a vehicle is stolen it comes up on a Tom Tom device of anyone registered as a Vehicle Tracker located in that area and directs people to its location - People power.
That sounds like a damn good plan actually. I'll pitch that at a few contacts I have, see if anything sticks (probably not but then, it's not my money to invest lol). Naturally they can have the the idea & rights to it etc, so long as SV650.org current members get free lifetime membership to the scheme & free hardware, and for those that need it, free fitting too :D
*wanders off mumbling about why he didn't think of this before*
A cloking device. Get off, arm bike, bike disapears. You cant nick what you cant see. Failing that, A sytem very much like the one used on the white lotus in...erm, The spy who loved me i think.
May be expensive on bikes, but you can get rid of one bike thief at a time.
Just wire it up to chav scooters for a laugh though :twisted:
A cloking device. Get off, arm bike, bike disapears. Car parks in the space that it finds, *crunch*
Ah I see, an unrealistic solution.
SoulKiss
19-10-06, 11:43 AM
That sounds like a damn good plan actually. I'll pitch that at a few contacts I have, see if anything sticks (probably not but then, it's not my money to invest lol). Naturally they can have the the idea & rights to it etc, so long as SV650.org current members get free lifetime membership to the scheme & free hardware, and for those that need it, free fitting too :D
TomTom's latest software has a "Stalker Mode".
Basically you can add friends who have TomToms and as long as you are connected to a mobile phone and hence GPRS you can allow your "buddies" to see you and be seen by them.
I dare say that they could build this in so that if a TomTom unit that is stolen connects to the TomTomNet then it auto goes into this mode....
Only tracks the TomTom but not the bike tho.
I also dislike the idea of Vigilanteism - thats what we have police for....(even if they are useless)
David
I also dislike the idea of Vigilanteism - thats what we have police for....(even if they are useless)
Licenced vigilanties, think of it like doorstaff/bailifs.
Red ones
19-10-06, 04:18 PM
Something that detects when the bike has been touched, then automatically plays Peter Andre and Jordan singing.
Filipe M.
19-10-06, 04:20 PM
Something that detects when the bike has been touched, then automatically plays Peter Andre and Jordan singing.
I think you might find you'd be charged with assault, and sued for permanent hearing damage. :lol:
More on tracker chips.
Then set up and a bike bound security hit squad that is responsible for busting the crooks - not the cops. I.e. Use other bikers to track down the crooks.
Offer the security business out as a business franchise so it can become national network of bikers looking out for bikers.
I would pay for the security chip if I knew other bikers were actively out looking for my bike as soon as it had been nicked. I would also be happy to go out and track down a bike if I knew it was in my area.
Oh - and do a deal with someone like Tom Tom - when a vehicle is stolen it comes up on a Tom Tom device of anyone registered as a Vehicle Tracker located in that area and directs people to its location - People power.
That sounds like a damn good plan actually. I'll pitch that at a few contacts I have, see if anything sticks (probably not but then, it's not my money to invest lol). Naturally they can have the the idea & rights to it etc, so long as SV650.org current members get free lifetime membership to the scheme & free hardware, and for those that need it, free fitting too :D
*wanders off mumbling about why he didn't think of this before*
:lol: I'd set it up if they have the technology and cash :wink:
Sid Squid
19-10-06, 11:42 PM
Hydraulic ram with a barbed spike on it that burst out of the seat into the crotch of the rider.
Been done before, saw it on a German streetfighter in about 1988.
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