View Full Version : Oh. My. God. Help !
... my boss is reading out chat up lines that he's found on the net.
Whilst some are funny, and some would probably work, he's mid-late 50's, overweight and bald. There's another lad in the office, early 20's and also has issues with his weight, talking about conquests with women.
Please someone, kill me now. I need to get the images out of my head!
Filipe M.
19-10-06, 04:04 PM
:laughat:
... my boss is reading out chat up lines that he's found on the net.
Whilst some are funny, and some would probably work, he's mid-late 50's, overweight and bald. There's another lad in the office, early 20's and also has issues with his weight, talking about conquests with women.
Please someone, kill me now. I need to get the images out of my head!
That's what you get for trying to cheer us up!
What goes around, comes around! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
What are the chat up lines? just curious. ;)
This should help...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ
:D
I am stuck in the office on my own... I am driving myself mad.... at least their ramblings can make you grateful for who you are...and not as sad as them.
I called to visit my bf's uncle yesterday. I was looking at him thinking he looked a little like bf, and then all of a suddenly, without permission, I wondered if he was as good in the sack...... I sickened myself in one micro-thought.... urgh!
How could that of entered my head, he is foul!!! :)
oh my god, that vid is awful.... i feel real ill now! :)
What are the chat up lines? just curious. ;)
I can't remamber them all, but there was the usual:
"That's a sexy dress, I reckon it'd look better on my bedroom floor" etc etc
The funny:
"You might as well sleep with me, I'll tell all my mates that anyway."
And the slightly inventive (to me anyway):
"Have you got your phone number, I've lost mine."
"So do you live around here, or are you local?"
But personally, I prefer the simple "Hi, I'm Dave, fancy a drink?" I reckon that's worked in the past because it's not a corny chat up line, so not an instant put off, sometimes you end up handing out free drinks, but it also gets them to talk to you for more than 30secs.
Naturally subsitute your own name! :lol:
SoulKiss
19-10-06, 04:21 PM
Or theres
"Wanna f*ck"
99 times out of 100 you will get a slap in the face.
1 times out of 100 it will work
The beauty of human communication is that you can say the same 2 words 100 times to 100 different people in one night if you are in a big enough pub/nightclub.
Oh and ladies - if YOU use it, then the odds are reversed :)
David (I accept no responsibility for the outcome of using anything in this post)
northwind
19-10-06, 04:22 PM
To counter their blatant lies, tell even more blatant lies. This will either impress them, or make them realise they sound like idiots. At absolute worst, while you're telling your lies they can't be telling theirs. Result!
Back when I was free & single, we used to play a game.
Walking from club to club, doing our usual route, through the meat market. The competition was thus:
You have to be seen by the person behind you grabbing as many ar*es as possible, each grab on the opposite s3x is worth 1 point. Each grab on the same s3x is worth 5.
If YOU get a slap for it, those points are negative, then 'added' to your score. If the person behind you gets a slap, they loose a single point, regardless of s3x.
If you get a kiss/hug, points are doubled.
The winner for that journey gets their next drink free.
If a 'target' tags along and ends up coming home with you due to your grab, your next night out is free curtosey of the other lads.
Man we used to play complicated games.
So do you live around here, or are you local?"
Am I missing something here, or is this just crap?
lukemillar
19-10-06, 05:39 PM
Back when I was free & single, we used to play a game.
Walking from club to club, doing our usual route, through the meat market. The competition was thus:
You have to be seen by the person behind you grabbing as many ar*es as possible, each grab on the opposite s3x is worth 1 point. Each grab on the same s3x is worth 5.
If YOU get a slap for it, those points are negative, then 'added' to your score. If the person behind you gets a slap, they loose a single point, regardless of s3x.
If you get a kiss/hug, points are doubled.
The winner for that journey gets their next drink free.
If a 'target' tags along and ends up coming home with you due to your grab, your next night out is free curtosey of the other lads.
Man we used to play complicated games.
Sounds like a variation of t!t cricket!
Back when I was free & single, we used to play a game.
Walking from club to club, doing our usual route, through the meat market. The competition was thus:
You have to be seen by the person behind you grabbing as many ar*es as possible, each grab on the opposite s3x is worth 1 point. Each grab on the same s3x is worth 5.
If YOU get a slap for it, those points are negative, then 'added' to your score. If the person behind you gets a slap, they loose a single point, regardless of s3x.
If you get a kiss/hug, points are doubled.
The winner for that journey gets their next drink free.
If a 'target' tags along and ends up coming home with you due to your grab, your next night out is free curtosey of the other lads.
Man we used to play complicated games.
Sounds like a variation of t!t cricket!
:( Blokes just keep coming up with reasons for me to not want to have anything to do with them.
the white rabbit
19-10-06, 07:40 PM
:( Blokes just keep coming up with reasons for me to not want to have anything to do with them.
Perhaps its time to consider the lady/lady option :P
*wallop*
...sorry :(
Flamin_Squirrel
19-10-06, 07:40 PM
Back when I was free & single, we used to play a game.
Walking from club to club, doing our usual route, through the meat market. The competition was thus:
You have to be seen by the person behind you grabbing as many ar*es as possible, each grab on the opposite s3x is worth 1 point. Each grab on the same s3x is worth 5.
If YOU get a slap for it, those points are negative, then 'added' to your score. If the person behind you gets a slap, they loose a single point, regardless of s3x.
If you get a kiss/hug, points are doubled.
The winner for that journey gets their next drink free.
If a 'target' tags along and ends up coming home with you due to your grab, your next night out is free curtosey of the other lads.
Man we used to play complicated games.
Sounds like a variation of t!t cricket!
:( Blokes just keep coming up with reasons for me to not want to have anything to do with them.
Awwww :smt056
It's not a male thing, it's a human thing - it's always easier to blame the opposite sex than admit that relationships are hard work and don't always pan out the way you want. Don't give up!
Carsick
19-10-06, 07:50 PM
I'm nice, I never play games like that. (done lots of naughty things, but never played a game like that)
:( Blokes just keep coming up with reasons for me to not want to have anything to do with them.
Perhaps its time to consider the lady/lady option :P
*wallop*
...sorry :(
:lol: :lol: :lol:
philipMac
19-10-06, 09:07 PM
Bend over and I'll show you some chat up lines.
Bend over and I'll show you some chat up lines.
:lol: :lol: cornflakes all over the screen!! :smt046 :winner:
SoulKiss
20-10-06, 08:29 AM
Bend over and I'll show you some chat up lines.
Those would be your cunning linguistic skills - right?
Terence
20-10-06, 11:02 AM
Man we used to play complicated games.
Sounds like a variation of t!t cricket!
:( Blokes just keep coming up with reasons for me to not want to have anything to do with them.
Not all guys treat women like game pieces. The irony is that if guys who play games never got laid, they would never have kids to whom they could pass on those behaviours/genes. If women around the world boycotted "playa's" they would die out in a couple of generations.
I'm not blaming the ladies, I'm just saying it would be cool if the nice guys came first for a change.
Terence
20-10-06, 11:03 AM
I'm just saying it would be cool if the nice guys came first for a change.
Leave it!
:lol:
Filipe M.
20-10-06, 11:20 AM
I'm just saying it would be cool if us nice guys came first for a change.
Shameless plug! :roll:
Man we used to play complicated games.
Sounds like a variation of t!t cricket!
:( Blokes just keep coming up with reasons for me to not want to have anything to do with them.
Not all guys treat women like game pieces. The irony is that if guys who play games never got laid, they would never have kids to whom they could pass on those behaviours/genes. If women around the world boycotted "playa's" they would die out in a couple of generations.
I'm not blaming the ladies, I'm just saying it would be cool if the nice guys came first for a change.
This lady never goes anywhere near the 'playas' if they're obviously that. I never meant to say ALL men were like that. My point is that the RISK of being the unwitting victim of one of these types is unacceptable and the more antics I hear of the riskier the whole thing seems to be.
:?
The way I see it is that I wasn't being a 'playa' back when I was out clubbing with mates, I never went out with the sole intention of taking someone home. I just went out with mates (sometimes that'd include female ones, but the games played were different then) and if anything happened, well, who was I to complain.
If that made me a 'Playa' back then, then I suppose I was. Not the way I see it though. More often than not I've been so blind drunk that I don't know how I got home, and I'd of been in no fit state to do anything with anyone other than throw up all over them.
Some of the group I hung around with back then, were definately 'playas' though, but that wasn't me.
I can be a nice guy too, but these days, I'm just me. I've got a family, so why worry what other people think (other than my family that is).
Steve H
20-10-06, 11:43 AM
The way I see it is that I wasn't being a 'playa' back when I was out clubbing with mates, I never went out with the sole intention of taking someone home. I just went out with mates (sometimes that'd include female ones, but the games played were different then) and if anything happened, well, who was I to complain.
If that made me a 'Playa' back then, then I suppose I was. Not the way I see it though. More often than not I've been so blind drunk that I don't know how I got home, and I'd of been in no fit state to do anything with anyone other than throw up all over them.
Some of the group I hung around with back then, were definately 'playas' though, but that wasn't me.
I can be a nice guy too, but these days, I'm just me. I've got a family, so why worry what other people think (other than my family that is).
:smt026 Baph is a 'Playa', Baph is a 'Playa'. :wink:
:smt026 Baph is a 'Playa', Baph is a 'Playa'. :wink:
Shhhhh man, it's a secret! :lol:
Terence
20-10-06, 04:50 PM
I'm just saying it would be cool if us nice guys came first for a change.
Shameless plug! :roll:
Well I'm spoken for... but it's still ladies first ;-)
Terence
20-10-06, 04:53 PM
Sorry Baph, I can see how it looks like I was having a go... that wasn't my intention.
I'm just saying it would be cool if the nice guys came first for a change.
Leave it!
:lol:
No, everybody knows nice guys come last!
Sorry Baph, I can see how it looks like I was having a go... that wasn't my intention.
Don't worry about it, everyone's entitled to an opinion, regardless of if anyone else is bothered by it etc.
Incidentally, even if you were 'having a go'... it wouldn't of mattered, and that opinion would of been welcome too :) Yes, I'm strange like that :)
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