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View Full Version : Bike Mating Season!


Swiss
19-04-07, 01:42 PM
Having been at Sid Squids house on Tuesday evening and seeing two grey squirrels shagging in his garden I feel there must be something in the air. This morning a Vespa tried humping my poor defenseless Yamaha RXS 100!! Had the mating been successful I figured that we'd have a cross breed; a Yamspa perhaps! Anyway I digress from what is supposed to be a mini rant :smt013 about cagers, obviously!

The reason for the impromptu metallic mating session was mainly to an over courteous cage driver and their eagerness to let a fellow cage driver out of a side street. "Nowt wrong with that is there"? I hear you all ask. Generally no there isn't, and I have on many an occasion done this myself. I have however, never pulled what borders on an emergency stop to do this. I managed to stop the Yamaha and this is when the Vespa saw it's chance to "get its freak on" and reared ended my poor Yam. There was, for one horrible second, a moment when I thought this may become a 3 way involving a bus!!!! Fortunately the bus took a turn of shyness and stopped a yard or 2 short of engaging the Yam and the Vespa, the offspring of which could only have been a 22 seater twist n' go motorcycle with standing room and disabled access!

Despite the crunching of metal and plastic, plus the shuddering of a 10 ton bus abruptly coming to a halt the cage driver pulled off to continue on its merry way totally oblivious the the carnage only a yard from its rear bumper.
THE FRICKIN NUMPTY

Fortunately the casualty count is small:
Bent Vespa levers
Broken Number plate.
Couple of pairs of underpants.
Some scratched paint work.

I know that it's sunny and folk seem to be in a good mood, good will to all men and all that but FFS let's not try to kill each with our over exuberant gestures of curiousness.

Rant over.

Viney
19-04-07, 02:31 PM
Let the *uckers wait is my moto. Even France saw the error of its ways and changed its *let the eprson out of the side road* law.

Will the Yam live again?

Sid Squid
19-04-07, 02:33 PM
:smt046. 'Kin brilliant! Anyone else just has a accident - you have a deeply warped mind my friend.

Tomcat
19-04-07, 02:38 PM
:smt046. 'Kin brilliant! Anyone else just has a accident - you have a deeply warped mind my friend.

I second that. :o I read this and laughed, remember bike mating is bad

tricky
19-04-07, 02:44 PM
I've encountered this before, having the car in front stop to let someone out of a side road when there's only me and 17 miles of clear road behind us.

Superb post BTW :D

Kylie
19-04-07, 02:44 PM
Whoah there tiger! Mating has indeed taken place, don't write off the chances of offspring just yet! Maybe for the next month or so* you'd better feed your bike on superplus unleaded, wrap it in a blanket at night, tighten up the rear shock and raise tyre pressures a little. Checking under the seat every morning would be prudent too.

*(I googled Yamspa gestation period but interweb sadly no help)

SoulKiss
19-04-07, 02:45 PM
Dont see how this would have lead to babies.

Surely all the bits that made contact were rubbered up?

Baph
19-04-07, 02:48 PM
I think there definately is something in the air, mainly due to the responses to this tread!

Moffatt666
19-04-07, 03:03 PM
I read that and laughed my **** off tor a good minute. Glad no-one was injured.

DanAbnormal
19-04-07, 03:42 PM
If this is true I'm off to try and rear end a TVR.

A Zed Tuscan....mmmm.

Swiss
19-04-07, 03:49 PM
Let the *uckers wait is my moto. Even France saw the error of its ways and changed its *let the eprson out of the side road* law.

Will the Yam live again?

Other than being a little surprised the Yam is fine and well, except for a cracked number plate.

:smt046. 'Kin brilliant! Anyone else just has a accident - you have a deeply warped mind my friend.

I am easily influeneced by those around me!

Whoah there tiger! Mating has indeed taken place, don't write off the chances of offspring just yet! Maybe for the next month or so* you'd better feed your bike on superplus unleaded, wrap it in a blanket at night, tighten up the rear shock and raise tyre pressures a little. Checking under the seat every morning would be prudent too.

*(I googled Yamspa gestation period but interweb sadly no help)

You are right, however I will stop short of pushing her down some stairs, although I do believe this to be an effective method. . . . . . . crude. . . . . . but effective.

rictus01
19-04-07, 04:07 PM
Sorry didn't digest anything else, still stuck on

"the offspring of which could only have been a 22 seater twist n' go motorcycle with standing room and disabled access!
"

and wondering how to turn the scoot that way. where's that welder girl when you need her:D


Cheers Mark

Treacle
19-04-07, 07:06 PM
:smt044 ****ing priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !