Serious Stuff

[plowsie]

Hi guys got myself a new girlfriend :( (happy really) but theres summit happened in her family with one of her cousins whose on holiday in Crete.

What happened was she got back to her room in the hotel para n told her brother she was goin clubbing. He said no to her and locked them both in the room. He fell asleep, she climbed off the balcony and fell four floors. As you can guess the damage was not nice, broken wrists, legs, femur, both lungs collapsed, eye socket damage and cracked skull.

I dont know whether to go and be with her n comfort her (the missus) cos i might look clingy. Or leave her with her family?

I'm normally good with this shizz but when its my own stuff i crumble. What should i do?

P.s. if anyone remembers the thread which one should i pick, its number 2

[Baph]

Ouch.

Personally, my approach would be thus (I'm assuming she's still over there and in hospital?):

Can she talk on the phone? If so, call her, and ask her what she thinks would be best. This way, you're showing you're concerned, and showing you respect her views. Brownie points.

If she can't talk on the phone, talk to her family over here to see what they think. Approach this with caution, as potentially they might not believe what you're saying about the brother. If the family are going over, send a present over with them (and a card, expressing that you would like to come over to see how she is etc). The ball's then in her court.

If she's stuck there with her brother only, then you need to decide how much you trust her brother to actually look after her after this whole mess. Does she have travel insurance? Can that travel insurance pay to get her home sharpish? If she can't get back here quickly, and you don't trust her brother as far as you can throw a landrover, what time does your flight leave?

If she's in hospital over here & not overseas, when's visiting time? Don't forget the flowers.

[plowsie]

Baph its not the girlfriend whose in hospital lol. She's still over here its her cousin in hospital.

[Jelster]

Just offer to go.. "Would you like me to come with you ?" or, "If you think it would help, I'm more than happy to come with you."

Not just brownie points... It shows that your willing to help and provide a shoulder to cry on (there'll be plenty of that).

BUT.. You must ask yourself "Are you going for the right reasons, and will you be able to provide the support she needs?"

But what do I know, I've been married for almost 20 years [-o<

.

[Tomcat]

To help you personally (obviously we could go on about how terrible this is for them but you need to decide what to do), how long have you been with her, where is she, (not sure if she is there on holiday with them, or at home), and also, could you not just ring her and make it dead clear to her that if she wants you you can be there straight away .... let her understand that maybe you can be less emotionally involved in the incident and therefore more help to her personally.

This is her call, not yours really, if she wants you then do your best to be there.

Also, just bear in mind that ladies are complicated;) ........ sometimes if I am offered help I turn it down out of politeness, even though in reality it would be gratefully recieved, so maybe listen to her tone as much as to what she says ....... even a cuddle at bedtime can make things more bearable.

Good luck, let us know what you decide to do

Oh, I do remember the thread, no 2 is the one you liked ?! Do all you can then mate

[Baph]

Ah, you never said that. In that case, call the other half & talk about it. Does she want you to be there? Would she rather concentrate on family for a little while?

By talking about it, you show you're concerned about how she's feeling at the very least.

Pretty much as Jelster. Offer to be there, if she says no, fine (but call her every once in a while - every few days etc).

[plowsie]

Nar i would be going for the right reasons. I know the other week i was pondering whether to jus bone this bird, but i have feelings for her now and realised that i had the other day. I thought offering my support was best but my mates r sayin go be with her.

[gettin2dizzy]

Of course you should comfort her, it's only us guys who like to be islands. If she really doesn't want the support then I bet she'll let you know pretty sharply! In times like this she may want to distance herself from her family occasionally too.

[Baph]

Nar i would be going for the right reasons. I know the other week i was pondering whether to jus bone this bird, but i have feelings for her now and realised that i had the other day. I thought offering my support was best but my mates r sayin go be with her.
Go with your gut my man. Offer. If she says yes, go. If she says no, re-read Tomcat's post.

[fizzwheel]

Just offer to go.. "Would you like me to come with you ?" or, "If you think it would help, I'm more than happy to come with you."

Thats what I'd do.

[thor]

Just be there for her.