View Full Version : What would you do?
In the last four weeks I've been involved in a couple of incidents that have been really bugging me.
First incident happened as I was riding home from work one evening. I came upon the scene of an accident. Must have only happened within the last few minutes, as there were no paramedics, police etc. There was a crowd of people gathered around, just watching and traffic was crossing over the debris, without any hesitation at all. There were two women standing next to the car that had been involved in the accident, ( I didn't notice any other vehicle), both on their mobiles( I assume calling for help).
From where I was, I noticed a figure slumped in the drivers seat. No one seemed to be doing anything about this, so I stopped to help. To cut a long story short, the woman in the car will live. The paramedics, police and fire services arrived within ten minutes, at which point I stepped back, got on my bike and rode away.
The following morning, I was discussing the incident with work colleagues and ALL of them said they wouldn't get involved. In fact, one of them hadn't been too far behind me and when she realised there'd been an accident, turned her car round and took a different route!! The reasons my colleagues gave for not wanting to be involved is that you get no thanks, and sometimes victims can be violent.
OK. I can almost understand it if someone with no medical training whatsoever walks away from an accident, but for someone in the profession, to come out with such rubbish, really shocked me. One of my colleagues said she never wore her uniform in public so if she were to come across an accident, she could just walk away and no one would expect her to help.
I wasn't in uniform, so technically, I could have just rode past, but I'd never be able to live with myself. So what, if you don't get a 'thank you'. In my opinion, its about helping another human being in need. Stopping to help could mean the difference between life and death and even if someone has no first aid training, just holding someones hand and talking to them is better than not getting involved!!
If the professionals are reluctant to get involved, what hope is there for the rest? And how can anyone just stand around and gawp. I guess its human curiosity, but I think if you can't offer any assistance then just move on. I'd like to think, if I were ever involved in a road accident, someone would stop and help me, rather than stand around and watch me, possibly die!!
Second incident happened in my local bank as I was patiently waiting my turn in a queue. One of the bank tellers became free and I was next in line. Before I could even take a step forward, a man jumped the queue from behind me and went up to the counter. I went up to him, and politely pointed out that he'd jumped the queue. The man opened his mouth, and out spewed the most vile racial profanity I've EVER heard.
I was so shocked and so not expecting such a reaction, I burst into tears right there!! In hindsight, I'm furious with myself for giving the moron the satisfaction of knowing that he'd upset me. But what gets me most is that no one did or said anything at all, through out this whole tirade!! Not only did the teller continue to serve this man, but another teller became free and called out to me. I went across to her and all she said was " Hiya love. What can we do for you today?"!!!!! So I was being served (sobbing uncontrollably), and the moron was being served and still nothing was said or done.
I didn't expect members of the public in the bank to step in. The man was behaving quite agressively, so I can understand their reluctance, but surely the bank staff could have done something?! Like refuse to serve the man? The man left the bank first, all the while having a go at me. When my transaction was complete, the teller said to me, " sorry about that love. Have a good day." And that was the end of that.
When I left the bank, I was petrified the moron might be waiting for me, I stood outside the door for a good while before I felt it was safe to leave. Thankfully, he wasn't.
So both these incidents have been bugging me. I realise that nowadays people are very hesitant about getting involved, but surely there are times when one just has to??
Right, I'm off to do some deep breathing exercises now...:)
It sums this country up to a tee really.
Incident 1 - Everybody probably assumes somebody is more capable or already doing something to help so dont bother.
There is sometimes horrific accidents outside my work and the firstaiders are alway out the instantly helping, I however have very little knowledge and would avoid getting involved.
A major problem aswell is the blame culture, it was in the paper only yesterday that an individual had helped clean a child up after falling off her bike, the wound became infected and scarred badly, the family are now trying to sue the passerby who stopped to help there kid.
Incident 2 - Completely unforgivable, I for one would not stand by and let someone talk to another person in that way regardless of how aggressive they are being, although I'm fortunate enough to beable to look after myself and fend off most type of attack. Again I can appreciate why most people would just not get involved though in this day and age, when alot of rogues are carrying around dirty needles and knifes etc.
I saw a bike crash last week. The bike was 3 vehicles in front of me. The people in the two cars in front of me just sat in their cars and did nothing. I got out of my car and ran over to the motorcyclist to see if he was ok (he was). The only other person to get out of their car was the driver of a car (coming from the other direction) that the motorbike hit who helped the guy move his bike off the road.
When I was involved in a bike crash a few months ago several people stopped to help and one woman (a midwife) sat with me until I got in the ambulance. I was so grateful.
Hi melody you did right stopping at the accident I would have done the same! I'm a quallified first aider. I did the training for one reason so I could help someone or make a differance between life and death!
On the bank incident I would go to the police and report it as they take racism very seriously! make sure you give them the exact time of the incident so they can look at the banks cctv footage! Don't let him get away with it!
BILLY
Right, incident one, I would have done the same as you, even if it was just holding someones hand to give a bit of reassurance to that person, well done.
Incident two, I wish I had been there, Id have flattened the *******, no questions asked
Keep your chin up mate :D
I know the bank my partner works at had a similar incident, they closed the abusive womens accounts down and posted her the cheques.
Both situations just go to show how people can become so wrapped up in their own little selfish worlds with no care for anyone else whatsoever.
The first scenario is truly disgusting. I've been the first on scene at a few accidents and never once thought about how the 'victim' may react - they're hardly going to get violent if they're dying FFS. I remember a few years ago when I found a car upside down in a ditch, the driver was only 18 and she was screaming so much because she was trapped it was terrifying. With the help of another driver we managed to get the door open and cut her belt to get her out and fortunately for her (and us) she was just a bit shook up and a few bruises here and there. For all I knew she could have been dead when I was running over to the car and it was very scary, but I couldn't imagine just driving off. I mean, by the time the police and her parents had turned up and I'd got back in the van to go home I'd only 'lost' 1/2 to 3/4 hour of time so it wasn't even a big deal time-wise. I like to think that if it was my wife or daughter in that situation someone else would have done the same. And no, I didn't get a thank-you but I wasn't doing it for the thanks/glory/reward/whatever and wasn't expecting one - perhaps you're colleagues are only willing to help if they're going to benefit:confused: :smt071
Situation 2 strikes me of lack of tact, compassion and possibly also training. I can see why members of the public do not want to get involved in conflict and confrontation nowadays but the response of 'have a good day' is just unprofessional by the numpties behind the counter. There is no excuse for racist behaviour and I hope the t**t gets his bad karma soon.
Incident 1 - you did the right thing, and it's a sad indictment of our society that so few people will stop and help in a situation like that. I'm one of few people who'll stop and help anyone in need if I can.
A few years ago I stopped on the hard shoulder of the M1 to offer assistance to a vehicle broken down (in fact it had a flat tyre). I approached the vehicle and the female locked inside it refused to even crack the window open to speak to me, and just looked scared. I ended up leaving the scene because she wouldn't talk to me or let me help.
Incident 2 - Report it to the police straight away, write a letter of complaint to the bank about the conduct of their staff and also report the incident to the bank too - the bank will have CCTV so will be able to ID the culprit, and the police can get his details and prosecute him for threatening behaviour or even inciting racially-motivated hatred.
the_lone_wolf
30-07-07, 03:56 PM
the bank knows what time you used the cashiers desk
the person before you was the offender
a + b = the bank knows his name / address / everything
the police should be able to obtain the details with relatively little hassle, i would follow it up, there's no excuse for that kind of behaviour even without the additional rasicm
SoulKiss
30-07-07, 03:58 PM
Situation 1.
Dont know a whole lot of 1st aid, its been years since I had any training, but I know that what I know is better than nothing, even if its just to assess that the person doesn't need to be moved due to ongoing danger, and to stop others trying to move them.
Situation 2.
Having worked in a Bank, and on tills in Shops, I personally would have told the person pushing in to get to the end of the queue - I have actually done that. In your position I would have asked to speak to the branch manager and made a complaint that the teller had not acted in that way.
Anyways, as you know, not everyone out there is a selfish git, so have a HUG and hope you feel better :)
Warthog
30-07-07, 04:24 PM
Its a tough situation in number 2. My brother nearly got punched when he injerjected in a similar situation in Pizza Hut, and I have been punched whilst protecting a friend as well. Customers can already see that the man is mentally unstable so are unlikely to want to get involved. I would have probably still though, I hate injustice. The bank tellers however, behind their bullet-proof glass could have done more. Although it probably would have enflamed the situation further. Just think that after he left, every single person in that bank thought "what a ****".
Luckypants
30-07-07, 04:33 PM
Hi Melody
Nothing to add what has been said before. I am really sorry that you had to hear and endure that rubbish coming from that racist idiots mouth. big hug to you.
*Sends warm thoughts towards west yorkshire*
Melody, Please post up something that has come of situation 2. As a criminal offence that should be so easy to detect & solve please reassure us that something has been done about it, both Police & complaint to bank.
As for 1, just glad you are around and hope there's more like you than your colleagues
Hi Melody, I had a similar incident to no.1 recently, stopped at an accident where a young lad had gone off road and was unconcious in his car. There were people around but nobody knew what to do. I'm a first aider at work and I know my knowledge and experience is very limited but whatever help you can offer is better than nothing. Just had to hold his head steady so he wouldn't move his head suddenly coming in and out of conciousness and just kept talking to him. I'm quite shocked at your colleagues behaviour, if you have a knowledge of first aid then you have a duty of care to assist where possible...
As for no.2, the man's behaviour was disgusting...I think the people in the bank probably felt too awkward/embarassed to do anything. Either that or scared but it's a shocking indication of how people are these days...
stuartyboy
30-07-07, 05:41 PM
Hi Melody...
Incident 1
I would always stop. I have done before and will again and I'm not trained in any way. I even stop if people are needing tyres changed. It may be an area thing. In Scotland where I am 90% of people would stop for you as it's a pretty rural area. In town things tend to be different. In Glasgow everyone would stop to help you. In Edinburgh most people would ignore you.
Incident 2
IMO - play safe and make sure you don't come off hurt. Safer to back off because you never know if it's some nutter with a knife or a gun. Yes you may have been upset and cried but you're here to tell us all you cried.
You can always report the incident later to the police as has been said before the banks will record* who used the cash machine. Maybe it even had a camera in it.
EDIT - *unless it was some thug with a stolen card. Still play safe though.
BTW sorry to here you've been upset. Keep heart - there are some decent people in the world and when they do you a good turn it makes it all the better. :)
DoubleD
30-07-07, 06:54 PM
I would have stop to help out as well just like you.
In the bank I would have said something to the nasty man, there is no excuse for racism towards you and I think you should get the police involved in this. The bank should have that on camera and the police can use that to nail him to the wall (so to speak)
1 BIG :grouphug: for you Melody
Flamin_Squirrel
30-07-07, 06:58 PM
Incident 2:
Disgusting.
I hope it wont bother for too long, and I hope you'll take solace in the fact that he's worthless excuse for a person, with more than likely few (if any) friends, a mother who hates him, a boring low paid job and inadequate genitalia.
northwind
30-07-07, 07:08 PM
I've had similiar experiences from the other side of the counter, and we'd not have it... We could and regularily did kick people out, or refuse to serve them, call the police if need be, and close the accounts of scumbags, to be honest it's part of the job. Sometimes it'd be someone who was just genuinely mental, which is a bit different, but more often than not it'd just be a w****r. One of our old branch managers once had to collect a prize for good service from top brass, with his hand bandaged after he broke a finger punching a customer out :D
To be fair, the standard of hiring for branch staff now is appalling, I was in one of my old branches recently and discovered that the least able person I'd ever trained was in charge of the front desk team, who were mainly single celled organisms with rudimentary language skills, and all apparently 11 years old :? It'd be a bit much to expect them to deal with a really aggressive customer, but it's not hard to call for backup. It's just not acceptable to sit back and watch, not for the public even but especially not for staff.
glad you stopped at the accident and helped, we get injured people in a&e where no one has done anything and it makes the job a lot harder or impossible as in the case of a cardiac arrest where now they say no need to do mouth to mouth resucitation chest compressions are better than nothing or pressure to stop bleeding, just simple stuff. as for the bank perhaps you should move your money they obviously dont care about you, some banks even offer golden hellos
El Saxo
30-07-07, 08:21 PM
Melody, good on yer for stopping and helping at the accident :thumbsup:
As for the guy in the bank, I'll echo others sentiments and say you should deffo report it to the police. That kind of behaviour is absolutely inexcusable!
Hope you're feeling a bit better about things now, unfortunately the world is full of a***holes like that and he needs to be put in his place.
Here's a :grouphug: in the meantime to cheer you up :)
I was really sorry to read about the racial abuse you suffered, Melody. As others have said, I would definitely report the incident to the police. I would also make a formal complaint to the bank about the lack of assistance from the staff, and if you don't get any apology or response, I would change banks, and make it clear why you are doing so. A hassle I know, but I, personally, would do it.
As for stopping at the accident, good on ya! I remember many years ago my then two year old son fell while we were in town and hit his forehard right on the corner of a building. Blood everywhere, screaming child, and all these people just walking past staring. A guy on the opposite side of the road ran over, grabbed my shopping and said 'My car is just round the corner, I'll drive you to the hospital' He did, my son bleeding copiously all over his upholstery, and I never even had a chance to thank him properly. People like him, and you, are the good guys Melody, and Thank God for you.:D
#1, Your a star, I hope your not too far behind me if I have an off.
#2, As all the rest have said, Don't let the small minded racist moron get away with it, it's people like him that makes this country crap.
:grouphug:Have some Huggs to make you feel better.
Hey guys,
Thanks for the hugs
I wrote to the bank about a week after the incident occured, giving them date and time.That was three weeks ago and I've still not heard from them. As for going to the police, I'm worried about the repercussions. The moron probably lives in my town, so what if he tracks me down and finds out where I live? The mere thought of ever seeing this man again makes me sick to my stomach.
So I'll probably let it rest. I'll chalk it down as one of life's not so pleasant experiences. If I don't hear from the bank, I'll look into changing banks.
Captain Nemo
31-07-07, 09:39 AM
well done for stopping in #1 , i cant understand how anyone can turn there back on another person, medical training or not, id help, its just the right thing to do
#2, i dont think there was much you could have done different, the bank staff definately should have though, if it had been a staff member being abused it wouldnt have been accepted, so it should be the same for customers, but i can kind of see why the other customers didnt react, most folks dont like confrontation especially if its unexpected, not much you could have done though, if someones mental enough to throw a tirade like that , whos to say that they wont resort to violence.
i think id be keen to get a response from the bank though as to wether they were going to take further action, they dont need you to be involved , if theyve got the balls they could just say they were reviewing an incident reported by staff and that XXXXXX is the result.
gettin2dizzy
31-07-07, 10:22 AM
I think your forgetting that people have their own circumstances that we're not aware off which can reflect in their actions..........
......These guys were obviously all *****s ;)
Bummer- but chin-up! :) one good deed stays with you far longer than a hundred bad ones :)
CoolGirl
31-07-07, 10:51 AM
Hi Melody
really sorry to hear abot your plight.
In situation 2 I'd have discreetly asked the bank teller to call the police as a crime was being committed on their premises. And as a customer, I'd have expected the bank to intervene to protect me.
In situation 1, I'd have done the same as you. If that was me on the deck, I'd be grateful. As a driver/rider/pedestriuan I've always done whatever I can to help in these situations - even if it's just using my phone to make the 999 call. As for those selfish idioys, remind them of the good samaritan, and to wonder whether anyone would stop for them if they needed help.....
Warthog
31-07-07, 11:41 AM
Thats pretty poor of the bank. TBH, now that it is a while later, it might be best ignoring it if you are not too badly scarred. Things like this happen to everyone at some point, you just have to ignore it and remember that you have three pages of thoughts and hugs from us and the man in question is a
worthless excuse for a person, with more than likely few (if any) friends, a mother who hates him, a boring low paid job and inadequate genitalia.
grh1904
31-07-07, 01:03 PM
As a Police officer myself I would urge you to report it.
Even though I'm from a different area, most forces have a dedicated hate crime officer to oversee complaints like this, make sure you get the right support etc.
It would be very easy to track down this person, but there are procedures in place to make sure that victims personal details are kept secure and not disclosed to the defendant. IF and that is an IF in HUGE capital letters, he did track you down, again there are offences like witness intimidation that come into play.
EXAMPLE - I once helped a probationer colleague deal with a minor assault/public order situation and the resultant court case file. The suspect would probably have got a fine, and bound over to keep the peace for 12 months. This NUMPTY went and intimidated the witness to try and get case dropped, he wasn't laughing when he got 2 months for the intimidation, and lost his job because his employer wouldn't keep the job open.
DO NOT let these type of people win, I personally feel that if you do nothing you will be sending him the message that it is okay for him to do this and get away with it, at least to you anyway.
Enough of my ranting, but these racist TW*TS need putting down, for which I can recommend a good vet !!!!!!!!:smt066 :smt066 :smt066
Essex of Essex
31-07-07, 10:10 PM
Melody I only hope that if I have an accident that someone has your compassion and stops to offer help; and that when that racist idiot has his that no one wastes time and energy helping him. The world needs people like you who are prepared to put other people first and it doesn't need bigots like him.
If you end up changing banks let them know why they are loosing your account; it might make them take more notice in the future.
As a Police officer myself I would urge you to report it.
DO NOT let these type of people win, I personally feel that if you do nothing you will be sending him the message that it is okay for him to do this and get away with it, at least to you anyway.
DONE
After much deliberation, I've reported this to the police. Hopefully now, I can relax and need not look over my shoulder as much.:)
DONE
After much deliberation, I've reported this to the police. Hopefully now, I can relax and need not look over my shoulder as much.:)
Well done Melody, that took some courage. I bet that was a hard decision to make, but you made the right one.
:grouphug:
Jester666
01-08-07, 03:50 PM
DONE
After much deliberation, I've reported this to the police. Hopefully now, I can relax and need not look over my shoulder as much.:)
Excellent. You've done the right thing!
I had a similar incident with my ex. Unfortunately I reacted somewhat differently and had a "private" chat with a policeman back at the station. :smt013
Don't let the bu99ers get you down though!
El Saxo
01-08-07, 03:53 PM
DONE
After much deliberation, I've reported this to the police. Hopefully now, I can relax and need not look over my shoulder as much.:)
Well done, a brave thing to do and I hope the **** gets what's coming to him!
northwind
01-08-07, 07:16 PM
:smt045 Well done. I hope some good can come of it.
Good on you my dear.
hopefully this immature little ***** will get his just desserts.
tigersaw
01-08-07, 09:06 PM
Proud of you, we all are.
Keep us posted of the outcome, and I'm especially interested in the banks' reply. If none is forthcoming, perhaps you could name and shame - if it were my bank I'll be writing to them along the lines of 'A good friend of mine suffered a racial attack in one of your branches.. etc etc'
the_lone_wolf
02-08-07, 07:45 AM
DONE
After much deliberation, I've reported this to the police....
:thumbsup:
RhythmJunkie
03-08-07, 11:34 AM
There is no excuse for racist behaviour
It wouldn't matter what you were Melody, if you are fat they would call you a fat something, if you are a girl you're a bitch, if you were 4ft 8" they would probably call you a midget or a dwarf. If you were a female, fat dwarf you would really be in for it hehehehe!
If they couldn't see anything physical to go for they would probably call you thick or stupid just to get the upper hand.
My wife & I have felt the racist tongue when walking to the car from a nightclub in Islington and a few of the local black people called us 'white trash'.
Yeah...whatever...get on with life! :)
I would be very careful helping someone in the street, nurse instinct or not...litigation is the new word on the street....beware! :(
grh1904
03-08-07, 01:11 PM
Good on yer girl for reporting it,,,,,,,,,,,
Keep us updated as to what is happening.
If it goes to court then I'm sure there are a few sv.orgers who would happily participate in a "ride out", and just happen to be in the area at time of said trial. Gladly sit at the back in the public gallery to lend support, show our distaste etc.....................
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