View Full Version : How to convince hubby about the virtues of riding!
magical_mover
10-08-07, 09:08 PM
Right - I am looking to book my DAS asap so that I can get an SV asap :smt003 really excited and have always wanted to do this, its only recently that a good friend has convinced me to just go ahead and do it!!
Problem being is my husband hates bikes :( :( and is convinced he will get a phonecall from the hospital. I havent told him how serious I am about getting a bike yet, as its not worth the argument! He keeps using the 'safety' argument..
Now everyone, can you help me!! What can I say back to that?! I really really want to get a bike!!! :smt035
Right - I am looking to book my DAS asap so that I can get an SV asap :smt003 really excited and have always wanted to do this, its only recently that a good friend has convinced me to just go ahead and do it!!
Problem being is my husband hates bikes :( :( and is convinced he will get a phonecall from the hospital. I havent told him how serious I am about getting a bike yet, as its not worth the argument! He keeps using the 'safety' argument..
Now everyone, can you help me!! What can I say back to that?! I really really want to get a bike!!! :smt035
My other half bought me DAS as a birthday present in 2006. She was of a similar mindset to your husband, but recognised that it was something I wanted to do, and trusted me to make my own judgements of the risks and rewards of riding.
After a year of riding, I finally persuaded her to get on as pillion (thanks largely to a Rossi-rep Valencia flowery AGV helmet :flower:).
My bike's been in bits the last week thanks to blown fork seals, and she's been telling ME she wants to go out on the bike!
I think if you explain your reasons for wanting to do it, and ensure your husband understands that although you are aware of the risks, you consider them acceptable and wouldn't take any which would jeopardise your safety, and hence your relationship's future, he will come to accept and maybe even get involved in your riding.
magical_mover
10-08-07, 09:15 PM
My other half bought me DAS as a birthday present in 2006. She was of a similar mindset to your husband, but recognised that it was something I wanted to do, and trusted me to make my own judgements of the risks and rewards of riding.
After a year of riding, I finally persuaded her to get on as pillion (thanks largely to a Rossi-rep Valencia flowery AGV helmet :flower:).
My bike's been in bits the last week thanks to blown fork seals, and she's been telling ME she wants to go out on the bike!
Dont think i am going to be that fortunate :(
husky03
10-08-07, 09:20 PM
Easy-just tell him no bike=no lovin-you'll win;)
husky:)
Dont think i am going to be that fortunate :(
Clearly, a trade-in for a newer model is warranted. :smt003
Easy-just tell him no bike=no lovin-you'll win;)
husky:)
Or, if not... that will work.
dizzyblonde
10-08-07, 09:37 PM
Easy-just tell him no bike=no lovin-you'll win;)
husky:)
hehehe I agree with that. No one gets between me and my bike. Luckily i have a bloke thats bike mad and its me that worries about his 'safety'
If it were the bike or the man? I'd ditch the man:rolleyes:
Tim in Belgium
10-08-07, 09:42 PM
Once you've passed and he'll soon be jealous, get him a CBT for a present, he'll soon want to follow in your footsteps.
Have a MASSIVE row, month or so not talking:smt067 , then go and buy the bike...ask him to give you a lift to collect it:thumbsup: :smt003 :smt077
that's what i did:smt003
This is how I finally got into bikes.
Past history - wanted, but time was never right.
My then 5yo daughter started going to school and met her friend Dan. Dan's mum, Barbara, got yapping to Mrs Ed in the playground, and invited her back for a coffee. Mrs said to me 'you've got to get an invite round there, their house is fantastic!' (which it is). Got an invite after we all went for a pizza. Karl giving me a guided tour of the house. Nosey me 'what's through here?' - 'Only the garage'. Me 'can I have a look?' - and there was a Honda off-roader and a 748. OH WOW. 'Do you ride?' 'No but I've always wanted to' So we got talking and I badgered and badgered Mrs and she finally said 'well if you want to' so I did, the next day.
Suggest you find a friend with a bike and spend more and more time round there, talk about it all the time, and then just do it. You don't even need to announce it. If you wait for a green light, as I did, you'll be years off.
ArtyLady
10-08-07, 10:09 PM
Tell him you'll buy a horse instead ;-) - they cost about 10 times as much to buy and keep and he'll never ever see you as you will be too busy mucking out and riding - and they are much more unpredictable :lol: (that oughta do the trick ;-) :lol:)
fizzwheel
10-08-07, 10:11 PM
Life in itself is inherantly risky, what you gonna do, wrap yourself in cotton wool for the rest of your life. You could get knocked over by a bus tomorrow....
Talk to him, take him round a few bike shops, take him with you to book up to do your CBT, let him talk to the instructors. Present him with as much information as possible... you never know he might want a bike of his own...
I cant imagine being without my bike, I regret that for a very long time I never took my test and I wasted all those years worrying about "what if" life's to short for what ifs...
You can minimise the risks, by wearing the correct protective gear etc etc, you can take extra training IAM, but sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time and theres nothing what so ever you can do about that, so personally I dont spend time worrying about it.
Just involve him in the process and dont argue with him about it, present him with facts and information, like Ed says, if you have a friend with a bike that he can talk to that really will help.
never believe statistics...:)
you are 35 times more likely to have an accident on a bike than in a car..:(
and 1 in 2 new riders crash in the first year...:o
but on the plus side ---
i don't think you can have more fun with your clothes on, then tackling a series of bends on a empty country lane in late summer on a V Twin.
Right - I am looking to book my DAS asap so that I can get an SV asap :smt003 really excited and have always wanted to do this, its only recently that a good friend has convinced me to just go ahead and do it!!
Problem being is my husband hates bikes :( :( and is convinced he will get a phonecall from the hospital. I havent told him how serious I am about getting a bike yet, as its not worth the argument! He keeps using the 'safety' argument..
Now everyone, can you help me!! What can I say back to that?! I really really want to get a bike!!! :smt035
Find a new man, one who'll lend you his Daytona 955i and let you play with his SV trackbike :D
Find a new man, one who'll lend you his Daytona 955i and let you play with his SV trackbike :D
But where is she likely to find such a generous chap. And one with those two specific motorcycles also. :?: :-k
Right - I am looking to book my DAS asap so that I can get an SV asap :smt003 really excited and have always wanted to do this, its only recently that a good friend has convinced me to just go ahead and do it!!
Problem being is my husband hates bikes :( :( and is convinced he will get a phonecall from the hospital. I havent told him how serious I am about getting a bike yet, as its not worth the argument! He keeps using the 'safety' argument..
Now everyone, can you help me!! What can I say back to that?! I really really want to get a bike!!! :smt035
Just plow ahead with plans to get two wheel mobile and see what happens. He hasn't actually said "the bike or me" yet has he? If not, then he hasn't actually said you cant.
Tell him he's right (men like to hear that occasionally - apparently!) ;)
Seriously though - tell him he's right.
Agree that you are far more vulnerable on a ike than in a car, even with the best protective gear.
Conceed that you are far more at the mercy of the elements, road conditions and acts of random stupidity from other road users.
Admit that your chances of serious injury are probably higher, along with the minor bumps and scraps you'll pick up along the way.
Begrudgingly allow that the simple pleasure gained from riding a bike does not , for many, outweigh the risks involved.
Tell him you are aware of all of this and have taken it, and his arguments, to heart...
... but it is still something you really want to do. So perhaps he should, if not support, then at least respect your choice in life - rather than repeating what you already know.
Just plow ahead with plans to get two wheel mobile and see what happens. He hasn't actually said "the bike or me" yet has he? If not, then he hasn't actually said you cant.
Agreed. If he truly wants you to be happy, and this is something you really want to do, then he should support you in this.
And if it does come to 'the bike or me'. well, there are plenty of very nice, eligable men on here;)
magical_mover
11-08-07, 09:33 AM
Thanks everyone! Great advice :) Am all smiles now and am going to call the training centre this weekend..
(and watch the bomb explode at home)
I have a very stubborn hubby.....guess he cant do much once the bike is in the garage?
dirtydog
11-08-07, 09:40 AM
And if it does come to 'the bike or me'. well, there are plenty of very nice, eligable men on here;)
hi there ;) ;) ;)
magical_mover
11-08-07, 09:48 AM
:lol: :lol:
scarlett
11-08-07, 10:09 AM
If I was you.... I would just crack on and do it, and tell him after.:D
if its your money then discussion over. i know you dont want to live with a frosty atmosphere - divorce is relatively easy these days. lol good luck. or take him to NEC in november and let him drool over the msn girlies that will distract him long enough for you to try lots of bikes. then catch him drooling and give him lots of abuse, so he agrees to you buying to get himself back into your knickers lol
... but it is still something you really want to do. So perhaps he should, if not support, then at least respect your choice in life - rather than repeating what you already know.
Nail squarely hit on head.
Even if youre in a relationship, its still YOUR life and that doesnt mean you arent allowed to do the things YOU want to do. If he truly loved you, yes he would worry but he would respect you enough to not ride stupidly and minimise your risk.
Is it really the safety thats the issue? Just wondering based on my circumstances.
I had one ex who bleated on about that being the problem. After several heated discussions the real reason emerged - he didnt want me doing what was perceived by him as a male orientated pursuit, where I would be hanging out with lots of guys. It was as it transpired nothing more than insecurity on his part with a major helping of lack of trust thrown in which kind of put the nail in the coffin for the relationship tbh :rolleyes:. Add to the fact you are free to go do what you will on a bike, go where you want, is there a slight control or loss of it issue going on?
It was easy for me - no marriage so he got the shove fairly quickly and never been happier for doing so. ;) :D
End of the day if its something you really really really want to do, if he loves you he should respect that and accept it. Worry fine, like others have said life isnt a guarantee.
Love/relationships dont mean you give up living your life entirely for someone. Its about sharing the things you both want to share but allow the other person to still do the things they want to do that you dont. Imvo that is. :D
If all else fails, tell him if you cant ride a bike you want to take up skydiving or something even more dangerous for a hobby. That should sort it. :D
Unless he's a complete Philistine, he's got to appreciate the Rubenesque contours of, oh, just off the top of my head, say a lovely yellow curvey SVS! ;)
Listen to all the good advice! :p
But where is she likely to find such a generous chap. And one with those two specific motorcycles also. :?: :-k
<Looks around, in cupboard and under table>
I dunno, but she may get really lucky.
Had a similar problem myself, though hubby's concerns were quite valid as his bro is a biker who has written off 4 bikes and has titanium (IIRC) bits holding him together. However a deal was struck where he could buy the Ferrari of his dreams and I could follow my dream of biking too. :)
Certain criteria I had to follow though. I was to purchase the correct protective gear before anything else, the whole head to toe power ranger lot :D Then I had to have a 125 before I went to a larger bike. Proper training at school and a promise to do more training after - bikesafe/IAM etc.
So I now have an 07 SV waiting for me when I pass my test. :D
Try popping over to www.bikegirl.co.uk (http://www.bikegirl.co.uk) for other girly opinions too. Good Luck!
Ace-T :)
magical_mover
11-08-07, 05:15 PM
I went to a training centre today to have a chat with them...:D
Im just going to get booked and sod the consequences lol :smt103
Im just going to get booked and sod the consequences lol :smt103
Woohoo! You go, Girl:D
Oh.................and if the consequences get too bad....................I have a spare room;)
magical_mover
11-08-07, 05:40 PM
Woohoo! You go, Girl:D
Oh.................and if the consequences get too bad....................I have a spare room;)
Cool - I am house trained :D
The training centre said I can book an assessment for 90 mins to decide whether I like it and they will recommend how I should proceed with CBT/DAS etc. Looking at my height the lady on reception said i might find the A2 course easier than the DAS.. any advice on this? Im about 5'5 and sat on one of the bikes at the centre and did find it a bit high. Combined with slight lack of confidence, the training centre said I might therefore feel more at home on a 125 and get a restricted licence,,, :confused:
We have lots of female friends who ride, many who are shorter than you. Pete's daughter is only 5' 4'' and she used to share a ZX9 with her husband.
I don't know what bikes they had at the training school, but there should be plenty of bikes you can get your feet down on properly. Maybe shop around, try different schools, see what bikes they use for training.
hmmm have you talked to other training providers in the area? just wondering because there are plenty bikes you can do a DAS comfortably on at 5ft 5 tbh. Ah reread it... lady on reception... Id not accept that entirely, Id actually wait and see what the instructor has to say tbh.
Im 5ft 4 and did my DAS on a CB500 with no issues over height... also managed on my curvy SV with no problem - that was never lowered.
Oh and Im now on this: a litre, 220 kilo bike :D again, the only seat adjustment again is the default minimum Honda have built into the CBF. Who says little girlies cant have big bikes? ;) :D :lol:
http://img490.imageshack.us/img490/7968/lyn6yf3we1.jpg
Ok, perhaps something for you to also consider, which Im surprised the training school didnt suggest tbh. Do your CBT, get a cheap little 125 runaround for a few months and get some bum on seat time... by then you'll know for definite if you want to progress, also you will have a bit more confidence on 2 wheels to go for a 500cc bike and do a DAS on it.
Also, if height is an issue for you, get some Lady Daytonas - extra on the heel of those boots so makes it less an issue. HTH
magical_mover
11-08-07, 08:17 PM
hmmm have you talked to other training providers in the area? just wondering because there are plenty bikes you can do a DAS comfortably on at 5ft 5 tbh. Ah reread it... lady on reception... Id not accept that entirely, Id actually wait and see what the instructor has to say tbh.
Im 5ft 4 and did my DAS on a CB500 with no issues over height... also managed on my curvy SV with no problem - that was never lowered.
Oh and Im now on this: a litre, 220 kilo bike :D again, the only seat adjustment again is the default minimum Honda have built into the CBF. Who says little girlies cant have big bikes? ;) :D :lol:
http://img490.imageshack.us/img490/7968/lyn6yf3we1.jpg
Ok, perhaps something for you to also consider, which Im surprised the training school didnt suggest tbh. Do your CBT, get a cheap little 125 runaround for a few months and get some bum on seat time... by then you'll know for definite if you want to progress, also you will have a bit more confidence on 2 wheels to go for a 500cc bike and do a DAS on it.
Also, if height is an issue for you, get some Lady Daytonas - extra on the heel of those boots so makes it less an issue. HTH
thank you so much for your advice - thanks! The test centre hire out their 125's too and they mentioned that i can take these out for a few days if i dont fancy buying a 125...guess its just a case of suck it and see.
ooer.
I have now resorted to mentioning bikes to my hubby at every opportunity....yes, I think the constant nagging should work lol. :D :D
I have now resorted to mentioning bikes to my hubby at every opportunity....yes, I think the constant nagging should work lol. :D :D
Why not have a BBQ and invite everyone from Org? By the end of that your husband will let you have a bike as long as you promise never to inflict us on him again:D
magical_mover
11-08-07, 08:36 PM
:D Why not have a BBQ and invite everyone from Org? By the end of that your husband will let you have a bike as long as you promise never to inflict us on him again:D
Perfect!:D :D
He will feel the odd one out too :D I suggested he get a bike too....
(tumbleweed.......................) :silent:
scarlett
11-08-07, 09:15 PM
Do your CBT, get a cheap little 125 runaround for a few months and get some bum on seat time... by then you'll know for definite if you want to progress, also you will have a bit more confidence on 2 wheels to go for a 500cc bike and do a DAS on it.
Some good advice from lynw there, and I agree with the above. Thats what I did..... did my CBT, got a cronky old 125, got around 2000 miles under my belt, by them felt ready to tackle my test, so then did 2 days on a 500 and passed test on the 3rd day.
Pedrosa
12-08-07, 02:16 PM
The diplomat in me has pondered your dilemma for some time now. The resultant advice follows:
Pick what you feel the most suitable moment,(like when he wants something you can let him have,or he has just had it!)
Turn to him and look him right in the eye and simply say.....
"Blow it out yer a+se...Im doing this!"
I hope that helps.:p
"Blow it out yer a+se...Im doing this!"
I hope that helps.:p
LMAO!!! :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003
Another quality post from Pedrosa :smt003
magical_mover
12-08-07, 04:22 PM
LMAO!!! :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003
Another quality post from Pedrosa :smt003
:D :D excellent
Have booked up my 90 min assessment at the local training centre so they can decide whether DAS or A2 will be best for me. Woo hoo - the plan is coming together!!!
:D :D excellent
Have booked up my 90 min assessment at the local training centre so they can decide whether DAS or A2 will be best for me. Woo hoo - the plan is coming together!!!
I like this strategic thinking:D
You will have a blast:cool: :cool:
good luck with assessment. im about the same height as you and did das over 2 weekends. the only thing i had problems with was getting on and off the bike. we were not allowed to put the side stand down. so by the end of the day I was knackered. as soon as i passed i resorted to putting side stand down before getting off and getting on with stand down.
wait til your hubby sees you in leathers and all his pals comment on your sexy bum, he will be puffing out his chest and strutting about in no time lol
good luck with assessment. im about the same height as you and did das over 2 weekends. the only thing i had problems with was getting on and off the bike. we were not allowed to put the side stand down. so by the end of the day I was knackered. as soon as i passed i resorted to putting side stand down before getting off and getting on with stand down.
Curious, the training I did before taking my full test (2 months ago) was always get on with side stand down, when astride get bike vertical then sit.
fizzwheel
13-08-07, 10:46 AM
Looking at my height the lady on reception said i might find the A2 course easier than the DAS.. any advice on this? Im about 5'5 and sat on one of the bikes at the centre and did find it a bit high. Combined with slight lack of confidence, the training centre said I might therefore feel more at home on a 125 and get a restricted licence,,, :confused:
Do the DAS, once its done its done. Theres no reason why you cant ride a 125 on your full license for a few months and then get something bigger once you've got confident, if you do a restricted license you might find in a few months time you're ready for a bigger bike and then you've got to take another test.
My other half manages both her bikes fine, I cant see any reason why you cant either.
the only thing i had problems with was getting on and off the bike. we were not allowed to put the side stand down. so by the end of the day I was knackered. as soon as i passed i resorted to putting side stand down before getting off and getting on with stand down.
What an odd way to teach on and off. I don't know a biker that's ever done this. You're a first.
Good luck. My wife will never like the bike but she puts up with it as long as I abide by our rules.
Always wear the full kit.
Hi-Vis in all but the brightest conditions.
Advanced training.
Ring if late even if I'm only 10 mins from home.
Carry ID with emergency contact numbers.
philbut
13-08-07, 03:38 PM
I simply get told that if the missiz deems my riding to be overly "spirited" she will confiscate my keys and post them to my mom - fortunately she doesn't know where the spare set are :smt035.
I understand yer fella having his worries, my folks are the same, having had one family member die on a bike (before my time). They were totally against it when I first visited with my new "toy", but now they see how much I enjoy it, and are a bit happier. As above, I always wear the right kit which keeps them a bit happier too. A quick phone call never goes amiss either - Forgot to ring them last night when I rode home from visiting them , and they automatically assumed that I was the biker who had been shot on the M40!!! Doh??
Do the DAS, once its done its done. Theres no reason why you cant ride a 125 on your full license for a few months and then get something bigger once you've got confident, if you do a restricted license you might find in a few months time you're ready for a bigger bike and then you've got to take another test.
My other half manages both her bikes fine, I cant see any reason why you cant either.
Agreed. I served time on a restricted licence and nothing would make me do it out of choice. If the only bikes they have are too tall find a school that runs shorter bikes, do the test once if you feel confident enough!
Have you booked up yet? JFDI and he'll soon get used to it:D
If he loves you then he'll come round in the end :thumbsup:
However, I 100% guarantee that he'll divorce you within a week if you even so much as suggest putting a topbox on it.
HI there!
I work in the emergency dept of a massive general hospital, we see sooooo many more patients who are injured due to alcohol related problems than people injured on bikes. Therefore tell your hubby to stop worrying, having a bike is safer than going out on the town!!! i bet he doesn't worry about going out for a few jars eh?! ENJOY!!!! xxx
However, I 100% guarantee that he'll divorce you within a week if you even so much as suggest putting a topbox on it.
:smt097 thanks for reminding me why I seem to be still single Jabba ;) ;) ;)
:p :p :p :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :lol: :lol: :lol:
magical_mover
13-08-07, 07:35 PM
Have you booked up yet? JFDI and he'll soon get used to it:D
assessment booked for 9am monday now. Then will go from there..
Have a friend who has done her CBT who is also keen...so now he will have 2 of us nagging lol :D :D :D
:smt097 thanks for reminding me why I seem to be still single Jabba ;) ;) ;)
:p :p :p :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :lol: :lol: :lol:
I don't have a topbox and I'm still single, must be something to do with looking like Jabba the Hutt's uglier brother.
magical_mover
13-08-07, 08:13 PM
I don't have a topbox and I'm still single, must be something to do with looking like Jabba the Hutt's uglier brother.
But look at all the bikes you have! :D :D :D :D
But look at all the bikes you have! :D :D :D :D
Believe me, even if I was getting intimate with Kylie Minge on a regular basis I'd still own the bikes. If she asked me to sell them I'd ask her what bikes she was buying me to replace them.
ArtyLady
13-08-07, 10:39 PM
Kylie Minge
:smt046 :lol:
:smt046 :lol:
She's an Aussie, they're well known for being bad with vowels, anyway, this must be txt spk I picked up from my kids.
ArtyLady
13-08-07, 10:47 PM
HI there!
I work in the emergency dept of a massive general hospital, we see sooooo many more patients who are injured due to alcohol related problems than people injured on bikes.
I thought that was more than likely the case, and as I am (seriously) tee-total :smt045 - I shall remind people of the above everytime they whinge that they are worried about me on the bike :rolleyes: :D
ArtyLady
13-08-07, 10:48 PM
She's an Aussie, they're well known for being bad with vowels, anyway, this must be txt spk I picked up from my kids.
Of course :smt045 :lol:
scuba2_diver
17-08-07, 02:02 PM
I would just like it to be known that your friend is really, really proud of you!
If hubby is that hard to convince of the virtues of helping and encouraging you then it is his own loss.
You are a star!
There... I've said it now :cheers::cheers::cheers:
I smell a rat;)
Rats don't smell, but the brown stuff often clinging to them does ;)
I'm on-call next week - gimme a ring and I'm come over and splat it for you :D
Oh and the "Kylie Minge" comment....... :smt046
I don't have a topbox and I'm still single, must be something to do with looking like Jabba the Hutt's uglier brother.
Trust me bro, there's no-one in this world uglier than me :(
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