View Full Version : So then...Tips for moving in with the girlfriend
This weekend, im doing it. Yep, that thing thats comes to every man at some point in thier life, dun dun daaaaaa, Moving in with the girlfriend :)
Come on chaps, scare me...what SHOULD i know about this? Nay advice/tips/warnings etc :lol:
you'll doubtless argue like cat and dog for the first 6 months, all part of the settling in "getting to know you" type thing. ride with it, pardon the pun, it'll all be worth it in the end
you should always bring her flowers, she should always buy you beer - or whatever's you pleasure - you should have sole control of any wireless devices which control the television.
she must always:-
cook
iron
clean
garden
be submissive at all times
you may pay attention to the first paragraph only.
Pedro68
22-08-07, 08:01 AM
Things you SHOULD do:
Your fair share of the cooking & cleaning
Any/All DIY (unless of course she’s a builder!?)
Tell her you love her … frequently.
Things you SHOULD NOT do:
Reduce her wardrobe space with your “old tat” :P
Tell her you expect your tea on the table when you get home from work (ouch!).
Tell her you “don’t mind a bit of blood sports” :o
Leave all your dirty clothes, and wet bike gear laying around the place.
Tell her that her bum really does look big in that.
Things you SHOULD TAKE WITH YOU:
A bucket full of patience and understanding.
The ability to bite your tongue (i.e. not to say exactly what you’re thinking!)
The ability to say you’re sorry (even when you think you are right).
Things you SHOULD NOT TAKE WITH YOU:
Photo album containing photos of you with each of your ex’s!
Any “little black book” you may have.
Some of this is from experience … some of it is there “just for fun”.
I’ll leave you to work out which is which ;-)
1. Put your clothes away after they've been washed.
2. Do not hang your undercracks on the bedroom door-knob.
3. Put all your personal possessions in a one pile when you move in - she will put them where she thinks they should go.
4. Do not attempt to give your own photos pride of place on the mantlepiece.
5. Do not complain about the phone bills - fact of life when there's a female in the house. Live with it.
6. DO NOT, under any circumstances "Dutch Oven*" her. Ever.
Good luck to you both, I know you'll be very happy together :D
* Dutch Oven:
Bloke farts under the duvet then shoves partner's head under it to give her the benefit.
If your at all unsure then dont bother ;-)....
Captain Nemo
22-08-07, 08:06 AM
hide your porn..........
REALLY Well............
hi vern.....................
When you are asked to help with the household chores Don,t reply
'listen love, you don,t buy a dog and bark yourself !' I tried it once, it doesnt work :D
MiniMatt
22-08-07, 08:32 AM
Remember to baptise every room :D Twice :D
Pedrosa
22-08-07, 08:37 AM
Dont ever let her catch you chewing your toe nails.
Leaving a calling card after sitting on the loo is not advisable.
Offering to help with menial tasks around the love nest is to be recommended if "slap and tickle" privileges are to be maintained.
Absent mindedly picking your nose at the dinner table is to be avoided at all times.
You must commit to s*x on a regular basis whether you want it or not.
HTH.:D
LOL, these are all good, keep em coming.
Would be good to hear a womans perspective
Patience - on both sides which is what i'm trying to learn at the min - i'm the type of person (i guess it to with my job) that likes things done straight away not in a minute or later - its been hard but i am getting there
share the chores
let eachother rant if you've had a crap day but don't take that out on eachother
if your renting a house then you will both have space for "me time" i like to read Falc likes to do to geeky things on the computer or play on the Wii respect eachothers time
Biggest advice I can give is:
Move in but don't even think about getting married!!!!!
Then all rights to under the cover action will be denied........my wedding ring acts like a chastity belt!!!
Pedrosa
22-08-07, 09:07 AM
Cautionary advice.....
On moving in you will find that you go at "it" like you could eat it, during the second year...you will wish you had!:p
Alpinestarhero
22-08-07, 09:42 AM
Ok, don't be fooled into getting up at the same time as her - she'll take at least 45 mins longer to get ready than you! So just stay in bed :D
Matt
....i'm the type of person (i guess it to with my job) that likes things done straight away not in a minute or later - its been hard but i am getting there
:lol: Dont fight it Tara - this is entirely normal (wife) behaviour.
My only addition to these points is - keep hold of your personal time and personal interests as they will gradually erode over time.
One other thing, although the art of breaking wind can be seen by most men as a positive thing many women find it crass and vulgar, however the ability to produce aformentioned noxiuos gases has turned me in to a one man fun factory :smt112
Pedro68
22-08-07, 09:57 AM
One other thing, although the art of breaking wind can be seen by most men as a positive thing many women find it crass and vulgar, however the ability to produce aformentioned noxiuos gases has turned me in to a one man fun factory :smt112
Aren't you staying at Pete's Eats on the North Wales rideout? God 'elp 'em if you are! LMAO
Put the toilet seat back down.
plowsie
22-08-07, 10:02 AM
Isnt your missus a member of the site?
Put the toilet seat back down.
I hate the way women get so bloody minded about this one.
It's never bothered me if I get to the Little Dirk's Room and the seat is down. I just move it back up.
Yet, the tellnigs off I've had for leaving it up...you'd think I was doing it on purpose for some sort of nefarious reasons known only to myself.
Great, I'm ranting now!
plowsie
22-08-07, 10:06 AM
I hate the way women get so bloody minded about this one.
It's never bothered me if I get to the Little Dirk's Room and the seat is down. I just move it back up.
Yet, the tellnigs off I've had for leaving it up...you'd think I was doing it on purpose for some sort of nefarious reasons known only to myself.
Great, I'm ranting now!
Speaking of moving in and girlfriend hows the builder :rolleyes:
I hate the way women get so bloody minded about this one.
It's never bothered me if I get to the Little Dirk's Room and the seat is down. I just move it back up.
Yet, the tellnigs off I've had for leaving it up...you'd think I was doing it on purpose for some sort of nefarious reasons known only to myself.
Great, I'm ranting now!
like we're to believe you've had any female experience?
aaahh maybe your mum used to tell you off.....
Isnt your missus a member of the site?
"Mrs Viney" is indeed "one of us" :D
like we're to believe you've had any female experience?
aaahh maybe your mum used to tell you off.....
Lol, yeah, judging by my recent performance I can see where you're coming from.
Mr Toad
22-08-07, 11:36 AM
Can we get a mod to change Verna's username . . . :grin:
Master the art of saying "Yes Dear" at all times
LOL, Yes Verna is Bernardbikerchick of this site. I thought i would only start this one as a bit of humor. Most of the things that have been mentioned dont bother ewither of us..loo seats etc. Im more than happy to help put around the house, do whats needed doing, cook, etc, im right regular house trained me. Just that i kno its something that all us men have done in the past and something that us blokes joke about. But we wouldnt change it for the world to move in with the ones we love...isnt it guys???
Still keep em coming.
philbut
22-08-07, 11:57 AM
Since moving in with my missiz about 6 months ago, her levels of jealousy have shot through the roof. She even gets suspicious when I go out biking that I'm off to see some other girl . I got a lift back from london witgh a mates sister as she was going past oxford. I am still getting S**t about it now and that was months ago! I've never given her any reason to doubt me - think she just assumes that as we live togther, why would i need friends or passtimes that don't involve her, and she certainly can't grasp the concept of a friendship with women that doesn't involve sleeping with them.
-not helpful I know, but beware the green eyed monster! :smt106
Ceri JC
22-08-07, 12:22 PM
In any sort of agreement, Jjst accept that you're wrong: It's so much easier. Until they cotton onto the fact that you're being insencere and then they get really nasty. :D
Pedrosa
22-08-07, 12:22 PM
Resist the urge to parade around the house wearing your ladies "Sunday best" underwear.She is bound to return home with a gaggle of friends when you least expect it.
Do not for one second believe that the parp you released 3 hours ago will escape her sense of smell when she enters the room of the said act,some 3 hours later.
Happy to offer further valuable advice.:cool:
ASM-Forever
22-08-07, 12:23 PM
Since moving in with my missiz about 6 months ago, her levels of jealousy have shot through the roof. She even gets suspicious when I go out biking that I'm off to see some other girl . I got a lift back from london witgh a mates sister as she was going past oxford. I am still getting S**t about it now and that was months ago! I've never given her any reason to doubt me - think she just assumes that as we live togther, why would i need friends or passtimes that don't involve her, and she certainly can't grasp the concept of a friendship with women that doesn't involve sleeping with them.
-not helpful I know, but beware the green eyed monster! :smt106
Consequently that was a cracking trip to the brothel yesterday ;)
Spiderman
22-08-07, 12:23 PM
All i can say is...
poor old BBC!! Does she know you're moving in or are you just gonna show up one day and say "Surprise!!!"
:lol:
good luck with it, there will be ups n downs no matter what so just enjoy it.
Please add the following to my earlier list:
Do not, under any circumstances, refer to her mother as.....
1. The Murder-in-Law
2. The Old Trout
3. A domestic water-heating applicance
If she really hates doing something - like for example the cooking dont just take on the role - as you will have it for life :(
ASM-Forever
22-08-07, 02:03 PM
If she really hates doing something - like for example the cooking dont just take on the role - as you will have it for life :(
The bitter voice of experience :)
tigersaw
22-08-07, 02:25 PM
Put the toilet seat back down.
Absolutely. I can get away with most things because I understand cars, plumbing and electrics and can get in the loft; but this is a big no no.
CoolGirl
22-08-07, 02:34 PM
hmmm,
Ian - When you can't find something, try looking for it instead of expecting her to find it for you.
Vern - I refer you to the advice Jerry Hall's mother gave her when she married Mick Jagger - "He'll expect you to be the housemaid in the parlour, the cook in the kitchen and his ***** in the bedroom. Hire the first two and handle the rest yourself". Obviously that didn't quite work out for them ....
If Verna tells you she's cooking that evening and you agree, and say that's a nice idea, then remember to go home to eat it.
Someone nearly got a big pot of chilli in their bed because they stayed out in the pub instead.
CoolGirl
22-08-07, 03:02 PM
If Verna tells you she's cooking that evening and you agree, and say that's a nice idea, then remember to go home to eat it.
Someone nearly got a big pot of chilli in their bed because they stayed out in the pub instead.
Um, that wasn't anything to do with me, was it? :-s (and if it was, he forgot to mention it as he was ordering a burger with everything on). (and if it wasn't, then he's a serial offender).
No Debs, you're in the clear - the offence was committed with his workmates. ;)
All i can say is...
poor old BBC!! Does she know you're moving in or are you just gonna show up one day and say "Surprise!!!"
:lol:
good luck with it, there will be ups n downs no matter what so just enjoy it.:lol: Sadly not, she knows. Im a lucky guy :)
Thanks Debs and Helen. Sadly, i'll probably be home most nights before her, so i'll be a cooking :) that and the fact im unbelievably fussy, i'll cook my own food anyway.
I really cant wait.:smt041:D
If she really hates doing something - like for example the cooking dont just take on the role - as you will have it for life :(
Yup - been there and am now the official gardener! I blooming hate gardening too! :mad:
Any normal girlfriend i'd say good luck and make sure you have painkillers and headache tablets
but you and bbc were made for each other, you'll do fine :smt041
seedy100
22-08-07, 07:33 PM
For what its worth, a skill that i am still tyring to perfect,
- learn to fart silently.
Never go to bed with an argument unresolved:(
Go to bed and resolve it;)
took you long enough
spend loads of time apart. absence really does make the heart grown fonder - well lack of sex makes you hornier lol
good luck to the 2 of you, I hope you will both be very happy together
Samnooshka
22-08-07, 08:35 PM
Good luck Viney and Verna :D :D :D i'm sure everything will go well for you and all the best for the future!! :D
Put the toilet seat back down.
Why??????;)
Never go to bed with an argument unresolved:(
Go to bed and resolve it;)
Or just sleep on the sofa:cool:
Before Tracy moved in with me she said buy a decent ironing board and iron and Iwill do all your ironing and also do your packing up every day! Pah that never happend:rolleyes: I do it myself I think I was conned;)
Good luck and the best of luck my advice from a girlie
be yourself. if you try and be something youre not it will show up eventually. (though looking for things is a good tip!)
Cheers Ian
Before Tracy moved in with me she said buy a decent ironing board and iron and Iwill do all your ironing and also do your packing up every day! Pah that never happend:rolleyes: I do it myself I think I was conned;) I was the one that wanted a decent ironing board and iron...erm, i think theres something worng with me...however, i am a man, and my moto is the right tool for the job makes it darn site easier.
Im looking at hoovers at the moment. No, i dont want a dyson, over priced chinese ****. Hmmmm. We have a Bissel lift off at home, i quite like that.
We have a Bissel lift off at home, i quite like that.
:-s
fizzwheel
22-08-07, 09:22 PM
You two dont need any tips you'll be fine.
Though if you are getting a pet and its Rabbit I can heartily suggest that you dont leave any cables laying around ;):D
the_runt69
23-08-07, 06:34 AM
must admit Ian I do most of the ironing, best thing is to do it when there's footy or somethingelse you want to watch on the telly, they dont give you greif about what your watching and have been known to bring me a cold beer whilst im doing it.
Pedro68
23-08-07, 08:06 AM
You two dont need any tips you'll be fine.
Though if you are getting a pet and its Rabbit I can heartily suggest that you dont leave any cables laying around ;):D
Damn ... they got mains adapters for those "rabbits" nowadays?!? :smt119
GSXR Carlos
23-08-07, 08:17 AM
If Verna tells you she's cooking that evening and you agree, and say that's a nice idea, then remember to go home to eat it.
Someone nearly got a big pot of chilli in their bed because they stayed out in the pub instead.
You sound like fun ;)
You'll be ok, both of you. Good luck.
You'll be fine Viney, just be patient and make time for each other and don't let life get in the way. Also still make time to go out and go for a meal, although harder with bills and so on it helps to keep doing the things you did.
Im looking at hoovers at the moment. No, i dont want a dyson, over priced chinese ****. Hmmmm. We have a Bissel lift off at home, i quite like that.
Aah the trusy vacuum cleaner, now this is a real art, the dysons are way over priced for what they are and now everyone has caught up you can get some good uns that do the same thing if not more.
I would suggest keep your eyes open for any sales or end of line deals, you seem to be a man with a keen vacuum cleaner eye and so should know a good deal when you see it :D
Failing that how about some robotic cleaners... (http://www.productanatomy.com/2007/03/02/robotic-vacuum-cleaner/)
Im looking at hoovers at the moment. No, i dont want a dyson, over priced chinese ****. Hmmmm. We have a Bissel lift off at home, i quite like that.
I can heartily recommend a Henry - doesnt take up much space and does a good job - so I am told anyway! ;)
dirtydog
23-08-07, 10:21 AM
I can heartily recommend a Henry - doesnt take up much space and does a good job - so I am told anyway! ;)
I've used a few Henry hoovers over the years and i really don't rate them that much :?
You,ll be fine mate, it,ll take a while for you both to get used to each other and sometimes you just feel like having you,re own space, but you will both learn to adapt, I should know year is my 200th wedding anniversary :D well it feels like it sometimes. ;)
Good luck to both of you
I've used a few Henry hoovers over the years and i really don't rate them that much :?
Well we like ours and it seems to do a decent enough job :smt102
She's right, your wrong... that's it ain't it?
plowsie
23-08-07, 11:36 AM
I bought a card for Dads bday the other day
"Dad for ya bday i've given you a very special gift *badge on front sayin "I'm the Boss around here"* *open card* But can ya give it back to mum tomorrow"
:lol::lol::lol:
Pedrosa
23-08-07, 02:02 PM
Best bit of advice your likely to get on this subject:
Turn up at the designated love nest with your worldly belongings and drop them on the floor in front of her. Look her right in the eye, whilst pointing right at her and say...
"Right there's my stuff, when you've finished putting it away I'm starving"
Hence you will immediately be establishing your dominant role within the household which is the only way for a long and happy co existance to take place.
Good luck.:p
DoubleD
23-08-07, 02:03 PM
There are some words that women use that you need to know the hidden meaning of!
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.
HTH
plowsie
23-08-07, 02:04 PM
Terminology always useful too is, "yes dear"
hmmm,
Ian - When you can't find something, try looking for it instead of expecting her to find it for you.
...
If she hadn't moved it, it wouldn't be lost! :lol:
ASM-Forever
23-08-07, 08:13 PM
Put some clingfilm over the toilet.....start as you mean to go on :)
be yourself. if you try and be something youre not it will show up eventually.
Have you met Viney?
Ian, I'd say "don't be yourself. Try to be someone you're not. You'll be much more attractive and mysterious that way"
HTH:smt077
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