Dealing with Aggressive People

[Miss Alpinestarhero]

Hiya Everyone,

Im in the process of looking for a job and I keep being asked what I would do if someone (the patient/client) started to act agressively (mainly verbal) towards me. Problem is, im not entirely sure what I would do. Has anyone on here had any regular experience of dealing with agressive people? If so, how do you go about calming them down?

My standard answer has been to talk to the patient firmly, assertively and calmly and to fill in an incident report...

Thanks

Maria

[Alpinestarhero]

Tell them to sit down, shut up or your hunk of a boyfriend will come along and deal with them :D

Matt

[Miss Alpinestarhero]

Lol, be serious now matt :p

Maria

[Blue_SV650S]

I think your response is a good one, but I'd be tempted to add that you would ask the patient to wait for a second and you will find someone who can help them/get a second opinion (presuming they are getting aggressive because you can't help them out) ... asking a colleague along will not only give you 'backup', but the time you are away from the patient should let them defuse slightly??

[the_lone_wolf]

4ft length of 2x4, works every time

saves on anaesthetic too;)

[600+]

if I remember you studied pshychology? or something to do with therapy and counseling etc etc? correct me if i'm wrong.

my answer would be that I would speak to the patient firmly but calmly trying to diffuse the situation. I would at the same time seek for support from another member of staff as the patient could become violent.

I would suggest though that you speak to someone in your profesion as they might be looking for a specific answer that I as an IT Manager don't know of - would be interested to find out though :) have spent to many hours reading about TA

[fizzwheel]

Never respond with aggression.

Just keep calm, and keep a calm tone in your voice and call for backup should you think you might need it.

[ASM-Forever]

Challenge them to a duel at sun up.

I personally prefer the rapier, but each to their own.

[Blue_SV650S]

Challenge them to a duel at sun up.

I personally prefer the rapier, but each to their own.

ASM, who are you kidding??? ... you are as soft as a fluffy cloud floating above a summer meadow :smt116 :D :D

[Ed]

By far the best thing to do is to listen. If they're really yelling, tell them to calm down and that you want to listen what they have to say - usually diffuses the situation a bit. Show that you're interested in their concerns/problems and that you take them seriously. Most aggression IMHO is caused by a need to vent - usually because they feel, rightly or wrongly, that people aren't listening.

So listen, take notes, summarise, say what you're going to do, and by when (being realistic and allowing plenty of time so that you look good when you do it quicker) and most important, make sure you do it.

This assumes that the complaint is reasonable - if they're simply abusive and/or violent then you would need to call help.

Edit - oh yeah, also there is no harm IMHO in saying you're sorry. 'Sorry' doesn't always come easily because so many people take it as an apology, when it would really be intended as an expression of regret - regret that that they had felt the need to complain and get difficult in the first place.

[therealvw]

One of the things that stop people getting aggressive inthe first place is to have pictures of you on the wall showing you beating the living c**p out of someone else in a ring or something. i.e. put your head on a female kickboxers body using photoshop! LOL
Being serious though... Every situation has to be dealt with differently. But getting someone in to be 'backup' if it does get totally aggro could be a good thing. ALSO, one thing I heard was the 7/11 breathing technique.If you can control your breathing to 7 seconds in and 11 seconds out when the other person is venting at you they will subliminally start to copy your breathing patternt and that in turn will cause them to start to relax. The councillor at the school I worked at used to do that technique with the kids who were getting agro.. It worked too. That along with listening and showing interest in their concerns.

[ASM-Forever]

ASM, who are you kidding??? ... you are as soft as a fluffy cloud floating above a summer meadow :smt116 :D :D

Actually thats what people always think about me as an initial impression.

In reality hidden beneath the thin veneer of joviality, is a bad tempered b@stard

As a result of your belligerence i revoke your test ride on my now run in bike. ;)

:smt116

[Ch00]

I normally count to 10 then put then in the back of the van!! No matter what hints and tips you get you can not reason with some people. Drunks and people that think your lower than the piece of poo they just walked in, you cant win with those.

Ch00

[melody]

Listen to what they have to say.

Appear interested in what they have to say and apologise if an apology is indeed in order.

If they remain aggressive, make sure you have an escape route. Inform him/her that you cannot continue the conversation unless they calm down.

If they continue to be aggressive, walk away and get help from another member of staff.

If the behaviour is threatening, call security.

An incident report can always be completed once the situation has been dealt with.

[Alpinestarhero]

I normally count to 10 then put then in the back of the van!! No matter what hints and tips you get you can not reason with some people. Drunks and people that think your lower than the piece of poo they just walked in, you cant win with those.

Ch00

But your a copper :p psychologists dont get a meat-wagon to bundle people into :smt009

Matt

[AlanB]

You should adopt a none threatening pose, arms by your sides or bent at the elbows with hands open. Speak calmly and in a low tone, if the person raises their voice it can be good to drop yours.
Explain that you'd like to help but if they are shouting or throwing themselves around its difficult for you to concentrate so if they can sit down it might help them to explain the problem to you.
You need to get over to them that you're not the problem but a potential solution to it if you can only find out what it is. If that all fails then back out slowly, keep up the dialogue.
ALWAYS.....make sure someone knows where you are, you know the position of alarms, you know the easiest way out, shoot the bolt on doors to stop them being locked with you inside and if you can get a colleague round the corner (several if you can arrange it in full riot gear and shields)

[Pedrosa]

Not living in PC U.K. and with years of training behind me I have a simple answer Maria.

Perfect the skill of delivering a powerful uppercut. A slight flexing of the knees before making the strike to give extra leverage and force is a plus. The upper cut is so difficult to see coming and when the "victim" recovers they will wonder what on earth happened and are sure not to blame little old you.

HTH.;)

[Fizzy Fish]

In most situations - stay calm, listen to what they are saying, and acknowledge their issue. Helps if you can get an element of agreement in there too ('yes you shouldn't have had to wait for 2 hours...' etc) - not much use arguing/making a fuss when the other person is agreeing with you is there?! And include an apology - unless absolutely not warranted at all! Then you need to move on to acting on their issue.

Dealing with violent/drunk people would probably require a different approach though

[MiniMatt]

Hiya Everyone,

Im in the process of looking for a job and I keep being asked what I would do if someone (the patient/client) started to act agressively (mainly verbal) towards me. Problem is, im not entirely sure what I would do. Has anyone on here had any regular experience of dealing with agressive people? If so, how do you go about calming them down?

My standard answer has been to talk to the patient firmly, assertively and calmly and to fill in an incident report...

Thanks

Maria

I was very recently in the position of being the very aggressive person in someone elses work - a hospital.

I have a particularly ugly medical condition that shouldn't be dignified with further discussion but the upshot was a bad drug reaction that had the missus waking up to find me half comatose and spasming on the floor, the poor girl thought I was brain damaged. Anyway, flashy blue light treatment to hospital and I was out cold for two days.

I have odd flashbacks of the whole affair but those I have are really quite distressing; my first recollection is a brief snapshot of me screaming at the top of my lungs and flailing around at anyone and everyone around me, I'm not sure why or what I wanted. Next flashback has me again screaming at people, this time I recall wanting to walk about, or escape or go to the toilet or somewhere, just a "must get out of here" feeling, again literally screaming at people; this time I remember a nurse telling me very calmly and cooly that I couldn't go anywhere as I was hooked up to a couple of IV drips, heart monitors and all that gubbins - something I'd completely failed to notice, I just thought I was tied up or something. I have a few other brief and vague flashbacks, at some point I wet myself in the hospital bed and delirium made me think it was blood and I was dying and again screaming in (imagined) pain.

These brief flashbacks are horrible, I'm not an aggressive person, I'm 5'5" and I don't think I've ever screamed at anyone in my life, I still feel horrible and ashamed about it. The medical personel afterwards were ever so kind and pointed out that it was all a natural and common in such circumstances, apparently a known reaction but I still feel horrible about it.

Medical professionals have an unbelievably tough job.

So, as to advice, it sounds like you've already got the right answer, calm and cool, listen to people's concerns and address them if they have the sense to understand them, don't argue with them just explain what you're doing and why. And I suppose remember that sometimes people are aggressive not because they're little ****s but because they're completely out of it.

[Ch00]

But your a copper :p psychologists dont get a meat-wagon to bundle people into :smt009

Matt

No but there has to a point where the reasoning stops and action is taken against a person and made to account for thier actions.

On a side note if it happens quite a lot you end up becoming more a-custom to it and it does become easier to deal with.

I also agree with the post made by Minimatt.

Ch00

[Miss Alpinestarhero]

if I remember you studied pshychology? or something to do with therapy and counseling etc etc? correct me if i'm wrong.

my answer would be that I would speak to the patient firmly but calmly trying to diffuse the situation. I would at the same time seek for support from another member of staff as the patient could become violent.

I would suggest though that you speak to someone in your profesion as they might be looking for a specific answer that I as an IT Manager don't know of - would be interested to find out though :) have spent to many hours reading about TA

You're correct, I did study psychology :) I graduated with a first class too but didnt actually cover aggression...

Maria

[Miss Alpinestarhero]

Thanks for your replies everyone! It was very helpful :D My answer must have been satisfactory because I got a phone call today and was offered the job of a brain injury support worker! They also added to start on monday (eeek only two days to get sorted clothes wise). Naturally I was really happy at being offered the job, but now Ive thought about it good and hard (as well as reading more on what I will be required to do), I now feel like that I should decline the offer...

My reasons? well some aspects make me feel uneasy..

(1) I will have to visit the patients in their homes (this could range from one to five a day). Initially I will be with someone, but after I am trained up I'll have to go on my own (young female going to strangers houses on her own makes me feel a little scared).

(2) Following on from the point before - It would involve ALOT of travelling by tube/bus (no way am I driving my car all through london). Me being the strange person I am, I like regularity, I like going to the exact same place of work and back again. No upwards, downwards, lefts and rights all over the place

(3) Id be on my own. No security or other members of staff to call on for help if needed...no CCTV or any form of security. Just me to help myself :-S

Gosh Im in a spot of bother. I suppose I should give it a week and then decide properly....

Maria

[Ch00]

Ask them if they offer any self defence training? Or what there policy is on dealing with these types of people.

Ch00

[Miss Alpinestarhero]

Ask them if they offer any self defence training? Or what there policy is on dealing with these types of people.

Ch00

They dont offer training :smt009

[Ch00]

Ask your kind boyfriend if he will buy you some. More for your own piece of mind rather than you might need it.

I will PM over the weekend

[Alpinestarhero]

Buy what now?!

Sounds painfull, this "buying" business

Matt

[ASM-Forever]

Buy what now?!

Sounds painfull, this "buying" business

Matt

:D

[hovis]

hunk :D

Matt

Lol, be serious now matt :p

Maria

:laughat:hunk


give the job a go............. you will never know, if you dont try?

[northwind]

See, when I have to deal with aggressive people, I just get more scottish at them and call them "pal" a lot, it freaks people out. Though not so much in scotland.

[Miss Alpinestarhero]

give the job a go............. you will never know, if you dont try?

I declined the job offer today. Finally got hold of the manager (on a sunday too which suprised me) and found out the patient I was matched to was a 40 year old male. I dont have anything against males/age etc but considering the extent of his brain injury (cant give details due to confidentality) - it would have been rather dangerous for me to be there alone.

Maria

[Alpinestarhero]

See, when I have to deal with aggressive people, I just get more scottish at them and call them "pal" a lot, it freaks people out. Though not so much in scotland.

That would scare me :( do you also look at them with your chin pointing upwards sorta thing? :D

Matt

[Ch00]

I am sure a more suitable patient will come along soon.

Ch00