View Full Version : Security guard woes in boots-So what if I've got a beard and I'm in leathers?
In boots this evening, one of the big ones, on a mission to get some bits for the missus. I realised I was being watched as I shuffled from aisle to aisle looking for the stuff. It was the security guard spying on me! I was wearing full leathers with boots and had a rucksack on my back. Oh yeah and I was carrying my lid with gloves in it in one hand. I have also got a beardy thing which doesn't really make me blend into the crowd. Now with that information do you lot think I looked like a potential make-up/toothpaste/bubble bath/tampax thief? Did he think I was going to empty a bottle of the latest fake tan down my tight leathers and leg it outside and off on a sports bike? I suppose I could have put stuff in the bag if it didn't take me 5 minutes to get off and put back on. Plank. What on Earth was this prat doing when he was supposed to be trained? It really really really annoys me when security guards do this and it makes me feel like a thief. I'm scared to put my hands in my pockets sometimes while I'm dawdling behind er indoors. Anyone else get this? I very nearly walked out and would have if I didn't think about the hell that would've been unleashed had I returned home without said stuff for my lovely girlfriend.
:smt013:)
Maybe next time you spot one, go up to him and say "Hi - can I help you?"
:cheers::smt045:-D:-D:-D
That should make him feel uncomfortable...:shaking:
The word paranoid springs to mind but hey, thats just me.;)
So did it work, TM?? I mean, did your mate lift a lot of gear?;)
Ceri JC
07-09-07, 08:11 AM
Last time me and two friends were being followed by a security guard, one of us said "split up!" and we all went in seperate directions in the store, one hid behind a counter etc. it was all quite innocent, but you should have seen the look of panic on the guard's face. :D
Biker Biggles
07-09-07, 08:20 AM
You should have asked him where the tampons shelf is.;)
In boots this evening, one of the big ones, on a mission to get some bits for the missus. I realised I was being watched as I shuffled from aisle to aisle looking for the stuff. It was the security guard spying on me! I was wearing full leathers with boots and had a rucksack on my back. Oh yeah and I was carrying my lid with gloves in it in one hand. I have also got a beardy thing which doesn't really make me blend into the crowd. Now with that information do you lot think I looked like a potential make-up/toothpaste/bubble bath/tampax thief? Did he think I was going to empty a bottle of the latest fake tan down my tight leathers and leg it outside and off on a sports bike? I suppose I could have put stuff in the bag if it didn't take me 5 minutes to get off and put back on. Plank. What on Earth was this prat doing when he was supposed to be trained? It really really really annoys me when security guards do this and it makes me feel like a thief. I'm scared to put my hands in my pockets sometimes while I'm dawdling behind er indoors. Anyone else get this? I very nearly walked out and would have if I didn't think about the hell that would've been unleashed had I returned home without said stuff for my lovely girlfriend.
:smt013:)
Can I come shopping with you, you distract the guard & I'll nick the razor blades, duracell batteries & own-brand whiskey!
the_lone_wolf
07-09-07, 08:32 AM
next time see how badly you can wind him up before he cracks, take a tube of toothpaste in one hand and reach into your pocket with it, but then just pull your phone out or something. points for variation and duration items spend in your pockets;)
So did it work, TM?? I mean, did your mate lift a lot of gear?;)
:smt043:smt043
Flamin_Squirrel
07-09-07, 08:46 AM
Unfortunately it would seem that judging by a few peoples posts, some will think that you're being silly. After all, why should you be concerned if you've got nothing to hide? :rolleyes:
You do look a dodgy mofo ;) haha only kidding, nice to meet you the other day by the way.
Perhaps he though you were looking to steal razors :p
Biker Biggles
07-09-07, 09:49 AM
At least you know this dude is watching you.Its the hidden cameras that work on my paranoia,but sure,if I have nothing to hide why shouldn't big brother be able to zoom in on my most intimate details?Its all in my best interests and these people do know best.:rolleyes:
DoubleD
07-09-07, 11:51 AM
I would have made sure to put my hands in my pocket just to wind him up some more.
Bluewolf
07-09-07, 12:22 PM
I was chucked out of JJB Sports when I was younger because "I wasn't the sort of person we want in here". I daresay since I had my usual punk/metal motley on I obviously looked like I wanted to steal a pair of Reeboks..:rolleyes:
The word paranoid springs to mind but hey, thats just me.;)
I'm not paranoid! Am I? Yes you are. Shut up! Ok.
No I'm not paranoid, just bothered by him following me.
So did it work, TM?? I mean, did your mate lift a lot of gear?;)
You're a thief!
Can I come shopping with you, you distract the guard & I'll nick the razor blades, duracell batteries & own-brand whiskey!
And you're a thief! But I'll let it slide as I don't think you're a very good one.
next time see how badly you can wind him up before he cracks, take a tube of toothpaste in one hand and reach into your pocket with it, but then just pull your phone out or something. points for variation and duration items spend in your pockets;)
I've been very tempted before to put things in my pockets wehn this has happened in the past and go to walk out but just before empty my pockets onto the floor. Ha. That'd teach them.
You do look a dodgy mofo ;) haha only kidding, nice to meet you the other day by the way.
Perhaps he though you were looking to steal razors :p
Hmmmn. I think I'll have that can back so I can shove it right up...... I must admit my face-beaver could do with a trim around the edges. I'm not getting rid of it though until I'm stepping on it when I walk.
At least you know this dude is watching you.Its the hidden cameras that work on my paranoia,but sure,if I have nothing to hide why shouldn't big brother be able to zoom in on my most intimate details?Its all in my best interests and these people do know best.:rolleyes:
I couldn't care less if the cameras were watching. When I get in lifts with cameras I actually like to walk up to them and smile to brighten the guards day if they are looking! It's the fact that he thought I looked like a theif. As far as I know thieves don't ride up on lovely new shiny motorbikes in clear view wearing gear that they can hardly walk in.
I was chucked out of JJB Sports when I was younger because "I wasn't the sort of person we want in here". I daresay since I had my usual punk/metal motley on I obviously looked like I wanted to steal a pair of Reeboks..:rolleyes:
He he he. Well judging by your avatar I'm not sure I'd want you in my shop neither! If I had one that is.
squirrel_hunter
07-09-07, 07:56 PM
If you want the serious answer then...
Firstly he was not 'spying' on you. There are many reasons he could have been looking at you, boredom, practice, suspicion, or simply because hes paid to. Just because your in bike leathers does not mean you are not shop lifting, you would be surprised what shop thieves actually look like.
A security guard looking at you should not annoy you. The fact that we live in a society that requires a security guard should.
If you feel like your being watched the best option would be to either walk out if you don't like it or approach the guard and politely ask to be pointed in the direction of some products.
I wouldn't recommend some of the other answers as while you will probably give the guard and yourself a bit of a laugh, it may not pan out quite as you intend it...
When I was 5, my mum was banned from Tescos cos I pulled tins out of the baked bean display and they all fell over. Tru dat.
Bluewolf
07-09-07, 08:39 PM
He he he. Well judging by your avatar I'm not sure I'd want you in my shop neither! If I had one that is.
And here's me choosing a nice respectable avatar as well... http://emoticons4u.com/evil/1022.gif
Funny that Ed, my mum never went back to the local Co-op after I pushed over a display rack...http://emoticons4u.com/crazy/1087.gif(I was four at the time btw... ;) )
Wideboy
07-09-07, 08:43 PM
best one to do, if you walk into a shop with a mate go up to the clerk and say "you wana watch him mate, he's a thief" provides some enjoyment:smt077
If you want the serious answer then...
....
I wouldn't recommend some of the other answers as while you will probably give the guard and yourself a bit of a laugh, it may not pan out quite as you intend it...
No I didn't really want a serious answer, I just wanted a moan. He wasn't just looking at me though, he was mirroring me across the centre ailse. I know that the uniformed guards are usually the first step (using people) against shoplifting but this one woud've been better off wathcing the fella in the suit or the mum with her pushchair. I haven't got a problem with the plain clothes ones as when I realise one is hovering I usually nod or something and they stop cos they must realise I wouldn't be that stupid to then nick something.
I did look at him a few times as if to say "yes? can I help you?" but that made it worse for me as I just got more frustrated when he carried on!
No I wont be tring some of the thing ssuggested by others although I'd love to!
:)
squirrel_hunter
08-09-07, 11:58 PM
No I didn't really want a serious answer, I just wanted a moan.
Sorry, I just have experience in this area and like to help people understand the work and reasoning that is involved.
On a lighter note; collect high value goods, preferably in bulk and move them from one side of the store to another creating a stash. Do this semi discreetly, then pay for your shopping and leave. The guard will go home thinking he's deterred a major theft, his bosses will think hes good at his job and will have him back to catch the real thieves and you will get one over on him and give your mates in the pub a laugh. Everyone wins!
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