Funniest story this year

[gettin2dizzy]

But how?!
A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

for anyone that wants to read on

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox

[G]

Thats rediculous, it was his own bike in a private room he paid for so I do not understand the issue.

Offence having sex with intamate object.

If they had walk in on a women having fun with a toy of the sexual variety its exactly the same scenario unless I'm missing something.

[Pedrosa]

I saw this a few days ago and was astounded,(no not at his inventiveness!:p) He can't be a full shilling though can he? I mean I have heard about rubbing up against inaminate objects ...but really,this?

On a more serious note he has now been added to the sex offenders list,you know where they have paedo's and rapists? Does his inclusion on such a list not then negate the seriousness of why others have been included on it?

[gettin2dizzy]

I saw this a few days ago and was astounded,(no not at his inventiveness!:p) He can't be a full shilling though can he? I mean I have heard about rubbing up against inaminate objects ...but really,this?

On a more serious note he has now been added to the sex offenders list,you know where they have paedo's and rapists? Does his inclusion on such a list not then negate the seriousness of why others have been included on it?
maybe it was a childs bike?



but how?! am I missing something?!

[Kinvig]

"Karl Watkins, an electrician was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993."


How????? And moer importantly - how did the idea occur? Did he pass it every day on his way to work unable to articulate his feelings? Then in a drunken moment just went for it?

[Pedrosa]

"Karl Watkins, an electrician was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993."


How????? And moer importantly - how did the idea occur? Did he pass it every day on his way to work unable to articulate his feelings? Then in a drunken moment just went for it?

Obviously using the cracks no?:p

[gettin2dizzy]

KARL WATKINS, 20, appeared at Hereford Crown Court in February 1993 on five
counts of outraging public decency: in particular, making love to pavements.
Watkins claimed it was a case of mistaken identity, but he was fingered many
times as the man found face down on the paving stones with his pants round
his ankles. One boy told of seeing Watkins's bare backside moving up and
down, while a mother said she was shocked to see a group of children gathered
round him. He also attempted to mount an underpass. How he passed the time
during his 18 month jail sentence is far from clear.
Watkins was back in court in April 1995, on charges of simulating sex with
black plastic dustbin bags in front of teenage schoolgirls. He revealed a
nine-year fetish with the plastic sacks, centred on the "feel and touch of
the bin liners". He went out at night to spend his time in rubbish piles, and
had been found in wheelie bins, and even in the back of dust-carts. His
ultimate sexual fantasy was to be in a dust-cart when the bin bags were
crushed. Convicted of outraging public decency, he was put on three years'
probation and ordered to seek psychiatric help

That has to be deliberate!

[Pedrosa]

Isn't that the same guy who was also caught in a terraced street after playing in a back passage?:p

[licoricepizza]

I heard he couldn't kerb (curb) his feelings and sit on the fence any longer so he chose this alternative path...

[gettin2dizzy]

I heard he couldn't kerb (curb) his feelings and sit on the fence any longer so he chose this alternative path...
:help:

[Bluepete]

He just a dirty old pedalphile

[Biker Biggles]

At least he got the bike at the right time of the cycle.

[Pedrosa]

At least he got the bike at the right time of the cycle.


Would he have touched it's "bell" do you think?:rolleyes::p His desires have now been spoke of by many and he claims that he was framed.:shock: He is now tyred of being saddled with such infamy and wishes to put a block on it all. Never again will he be caught pumping away.:)

[Speedy Claire]

Maybe it was a chopper!!!! (just getting my coat... slam!!!) :(

Actually maybe this is a common thing cos i have a patient on my books who had sex with an exercise bike but decided to remove the saddle and has ended up with a pierced bowel!!!

[Pedrosa]

Maybe it was a chopper!!!! (just getting my coat... slam!!!) :(

Actually maybe this is a common thing cos i have a patient on my books who had sex with an exercise bike but decided to remove the saddle and has ended up with a pierced bowel!!!

That's nothing! I know of someone who was treated for having a full Atco,petrol driven sit on mower up his jacksy!:smt103

[gettin2dizzy]

Maybe it was a chopper!!!! (just getting my coat... slam!!!) :(

Actually maybe this is a common thing cos i have a patient on my books who had sex with an exercise bike but decided to remove the saddle and has ended up with a pierced bowel!!!
again...how?! am i lacking in imagination here? I just can't see the logistics in this!

[Biker Biggles]

Well-----Think of the birds and bees.No not that.
Think of a train going into a tunnel.
Only the tunnel is a dead end and the train is longer than the tunnel----

Err you getting it?:rolleyes:

[Speedy Claire]

That's nothing! I know of someone who was treated for having a full Atco,petrol driven sit on mower up his jacksy!:smt103


ok... i had to treat a guy bought into A and E on a stretcher by the fire brigade with a complete bathroom sink attached to his rectum via the hot tap!!!

[gettin2dizzy]

Well-----Think of the birds and bees.No not that.
Think of a train going into a tunnel.
Only the tunnel is a dead end and the train is longer than the tunnel----

Err you getting it?:rolleyes:
I'm yet to learn these things

ok... i had to treat a guy bought into A and E on a stretcher by the fire brigade with a complete bathroom sink attached to his rectum via the hot tap!!!

:smt103

[Pedrosa]

ok... i had to treat a guy bought into A and E on a stretcher by the fire brigade with a complete bathroom sink attached to his rectum via the hot tap!!!

Well when I grew up in sunny Whiston, there were many farmers fields not too far from the housing. The local farmer who was known to be a bit of an "odd sort" was rushed in to Whiston Hospital, after going way too far when told to park his combine harvester "up the back."

[Biker Biggles]

Coke bottles x 2(large one and normal size one)
Bed post (large pine variety)
Fruit and veg--You name it if Covent Garden sells it ----:rolleyes:

All the above and lots more seems to have it's appeal to certain pervs.
Must be a tad embarrassing to have to go to hossie to get it all removed.:D

[Pedrosa]

I bet that old sea dog BB tried a few alternatives when he was bobbing about on the ocean wave,miles and weeks away from female company!;):)

[gettin2dizzy]

That man caught shagging his goat - who he was ordered to marry became a widower today

[Speedy Claire]

Well when I grew up in sunny Whiston, there were many farmers fields not too far from the housing. The local farmer who was known to be a bit of an "odd sort" was rushed in to Whiston Hospital, after going way too far when told to park his combine harvester "up the back."

LMAO!!!! hey I used to live in Whiston... I might know that farmer!!! :smt103

[Speedy Claire]

Coke bottles x 2(large one and normal size one)
Bed post (large pine variety)
Fruit and veg--You name it if Covent Garden sells it ----:rolleyes:

All the above and lots more seems to have it's appeal to certain pervs.
Must be a tad embarrassing to have to go to hossie to get it all removed.:D


Lynx deodorant cans are a particular favourite... somewhere along the line the lid seems to get "lost" :(

[Stu]

This was in the "Washington Post"...
Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the jail.
Lawrence went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice the Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

[Biker Biggles]

Need a good laxative to blow that out.:cheers:

As for life on the ocean wave Pedro my lips are sealed.:nemo::nemo::takeabow:

[Pedrosa]

Lynx deodorant cans are a particular favourite... somewhere along the line the lid seems to get "lost" :(

Would have thought the old "roll on" type more favourable as the end is rather phallic does one not think?:p

[Speedy Claire]

Erm.... can`t in all honesty say it`s something i`ve actually ever thought about!!!! :confused:

[Pedrosa]

Erm.... can`t in all honesty say it`s something i`ve actually ever thought about!!!! :confused:

Yeah I know,we believe yer.:---)

[Speedy Claire]

http://uploads.bikechat.net/Speedy Claire/fear.bmp

[gettin2dizzy]

Would have thought the old "roll on" type more favourable as the end is rather phallic does one not think?:p
It would certainly stop you from getting a sweaty crack too.

[Pedrosa]

It would certainly stop you from getting a sweaty crack too.

A problem you might be familiar with old chap, personally I do not know the condition at all.

[northwind]

maybe it was a childs bike?


:notworthy: