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Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cymraeg_Atodeg (Post 2280237)

Mediation is what I am going for now, but, I have seeked legal advice and been told there is no advice to give as I have no rights...

I find that just archaic.....absolutely ridiculous and if I were you, with a new goverment in place, I'd be writing a letter to Theresa May, new secretary of state for the Home department (check she's the right one) every bloody day to get that law changed!

She's your flesh and blood, I would fight, fight, fight....but fight right!

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

sorry cancel my last post, just read the direct gov site and you had to go with the mother to register the birth to get parental responsibility. to get parental responsibility you have to prove commitment to child and level of attachment between father and child. so looks like you will need to build up some sort of relationship before you can apply for it. sorry. hope your ex is willing to let you have a relationship with your daughter

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

Theresa May will do you no good at all.

The only thing a solicitor or lawyer can do for you is write to request access, which coul dend up in a lenghty and costly court case, with much the same outcome. The judge could say yay or nay.

It is always advisable to try and make contact with the mother first, and try to initiate contact that way. You have to be careful though, always keep copies of letters/emails etc as it could quickly be turned into "harrasment" particularly if she is now married and her fella takes a dislike to you trying to "muscle in".

It's a fine line and it's difficult to get the balance right. I'd certainly try and do it as amicably as possible, and if you get no response after a while, then ask a solicitor/lawyer to write on your behalf. people are far less inclined to ignore a lawyers letter. I would stress however that you do not make it a threatening lawyer's letter.

As for the legalities, the law in England and Wales is different to scotland, so I'm not much help!

Jen

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

I am keeping a record of all contact with me, the CSA and the Mother. I always keep records, make it easier to figure out where it all went wrong... lol

Well, me and the mother are talking, so, lets see where this goes

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

thats a positive step! I'm glad!

dont rush in all guns blazing, you have to remember that you are dealing with a complex situation, for you and the kidlet.

I hope it works out for you.

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

at least the mum is talking to you. ask if you can meet your daughter, in a place where child feels comfortable, if its a nice day, maybe a local park if she doesnt want you to come to her home. Once you have met up a couple of times ask mum if you can phone your daughter on say a Sunday night and make sure you never forget. It will be a case of little baby steps, mum will want to protect her daughter from any potential hurt and you need to prove yourself. So it will be a case of how high do you wish me to jump. Dont go buying lots of presents either or mum will feel you are trying to buy her affections. Ask mum if there is anything your daughter needs and whether you can buy it for her or give her the money to buy it. best of luck

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

Quote:

Originally Posted by fenjer (Post 2280280)

Contacting an MP won't help you get access in a court directly I know.

That's not what I meant. As per my previous posts, I believe that building a good relationship and trust with the mother will do more good than anything else.

But...Theresa May (if she is the right person) is in a position to change the law that is currently preventing Tony from a right to access to his child.

Grandparents can, by going through a few hoops apply for a contact order and although they have no rights as such, family courts are in favour of grandparents being granted access. This is not available to Tony.

If it was my child.....I'd do whatever I could as long as I was alive to see my child.

I also agree as I have done before....mediation is the way to go for now.....and +1 to what Fenjer has said about contacting the mother and how to tread carefully in your approach.

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitkat (Post 2280293)

Brilliant post !

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

I am only going to take "baby steps" in dealing with this. I have said I will do whatever the mother wants, as long as it is best for my daughter.

I am not gonna buy loads of gifts, no point, I don't even know what she likes...

But, I am not going to ask for anything as I don't deserve to make demands

Re: I just found out I am a father... (read comment)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cymraeg_Atodeg (Post 2280301)

If only all blokes in your position had the same attitude. Then again...Jeremy Kyle would be out of a job ;-)

Seriously though Tony, you're head is in a very good place judging by how you are dealing with this, so fingers crossed, over time it will all work itself out.

Oh...and you'll have a big cwtch off me next time I see you :-)