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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
What does an Essex girl and the Costa Concordia have in common?
A large gash full of dead sea-men |
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Bought a voice pack for my GPS, featuring Bono. I'm going to try get get a refund, it's fooking useless, all the streets have no name.
I went for a pint at the Fiddle. All the beers were really bad, it really is a vile inn. Mind you, the **** is no better, the pints there are foul. |
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
Mars - future home to human colonies. Venus - 860 degrees F and rains sulfuric acid. Sounds about right. |
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
That awkward moment your new girlfriend meets your old girlfriend.
In the cellar. |
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Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Three Holy Men and a Bear. . .
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan . They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion. Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.' Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. . . Hallelujah! The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it. . . circumcision may not have been the best way to start." |
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Guys may i remind you of the U rating of this area. Some of these jokes are a little over the mark. Keep them clean please.
Thank you The Mod Team :) |
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
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Pete ;) |
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