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-   Idle Banter (http://forums.sv650.org/forumdisplay.php?f=116)
-   -   The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes (http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?t=173212)

DJ123 20-09-12 10:01 PM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
"There's a spider in the bedroom," screamed my wife, "Get it out Dave! Please get it out!"

"I don't know why they turn you on so much," I said, unzipping my jeans.

_Stretchie_ 21-09-12 08:27 AM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by daddyjob (Post 2774695)
My girlfriend was putting sun cream on.

"Do you mind doing my back?" she asked.

"Let's pretend I'm your butler" I winked. "My name's Dawes."

"Ok!" she giggled, "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?"

And that was all the invitation I needed...
:smt041 :smt041 :smt041 :smt041 :smt041 :smt041 :smt041

DJ123 21-09-12 06:13 PM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
As my s***k dribbled down my girlfriend's chin, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Do you like that?"

"No," she replied, "What the **** is in this sandwich?"

DJ123 21-09-12 06:17 PM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday.

I'll tell her it's pronounced 'spade' when I give it to her tomorrow.

svrich 21-09-12 07:42 PM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
A recent study found that Paralympic running is the least environmentally friendy sport.
It's got the largest carbon footprint of all the events.

DJ123 22-09-12 10:09 PM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
Listen to something someone tells you. Now twist it into every horrible way possible. Congratulations!

Now you're a woman.

Thunderace 23-09-12 01:50 AM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
I won tickets to the paralympics, 100m hurdles, gosh they must have sore foreheads by the finish.

DJ123 23-09-12 07:02 PM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don't worry if you can't come.

DJ123 25-09-12 05:47 PM
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
 
Apple have just launched a new car. It comes with all the latest gadgets, fully integrated with the iphone 5 and with wireless area network. It's called the i-WAN car.

Fruity-ya-ya 25-09-12 07:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by daddyjob (Post 2776026)
I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don't worry if you can't come.
This is my new favorite joke. Almost did a wee.


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