relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

it's in the title really...

Nothing in common (apart from a dog), and you realize that you never had,
conversations end up in arguments,
you rather be out then in,
you live in the same house...but that's where it ends
you rather go on hols with friends.

When would you call it a day and sail away? :-({|=

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

When I ask questions like that.
Convenience is a killer.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Perhaps the answer lies in talking to your other half as opposed to speculating & theorizing on a forum.

Only 2 people have the answers & only one of them is on here.


Actually, I wouldn't take ny advice on affairs of the heart, tbh.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

ha, but what if the walls are far better communicators?

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

A long time ago by the sounds!! ;)

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

When you feel like you can live without them IMO. I had some of the same feelings a while back, was paranoia on my part really, we did argue a lot and sometimes i didnt want to see her because of getting into an argument. I thought about my life without her - it was a black hole, it looked **** and not worth it.

So my answer is, when you feel you can sail away and not return.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

As has been said forum advice is not the best in cases like this .... you need to work out what went wrong and why.

Sit down, maybe somewhere else not at home, and discuss the good points and the bad. I bet you both have bad and see if you can liven up the relationship. Work out what is missing and try and inject the fun back into it.

I have recently split and I tried so hard to get my ex to talk about what was wrong, he never would communicate with me and in the end he just left. I was left dazed wondering what on earth was going on and I still have not moved on. If he had communicated things could have been so much easier, even if we'd still split at least I could have said I tried.

The big question is "do you love HIM" and "if you saw HIM with another bird how would you feel"?

Talk before anything, with a house being involved it can get costly and messy and it may be unecessary.

Hope things turn out for you hun xxxx it's horrid when things don't run smoothly.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Its when you stop getting along that you should question the relationship. How long have things been bad? Have things been discussed?

You feel it in your gut when the relationship is over, much in the same way you feel it in your gut when you are starting a relationship

Matt

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

{whisper} I think Mon is a burd!! :D

p.s. If they won't discuss what is wrong, its a fair bet there is or has been a 3rd party involved ;)

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

SORRY !!!!! Change the HERS to HIM and ooooh don't think him with another man !!!! argghhhhhh = original post now edited LOL ..... sorry MON xxx

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

My ethosis simple. If they don't "enhance your quality of life" cut them loose.
Works very well when applied to friends as well.
I don't give a damn about history, and just look to the future.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

I like this theory, but its tough!

I would say you know when you look at the back of their head and ponder over how much you actually hate them !
:D

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Actually I think the question would be do you love HIM and how would you feel if you saw HIM with another WOMAN...

But, thinking about it, how WOULD you feel if you saw him with another man? I can offer my services to bring some spice back into the marriage...

Seriously though, from the sounds of it you already know the answer, unless your original post was in a particularly low moment.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

It's a good topic this;).

and some very good points were raised.
Bear you rascal:)...that defo will be a no, but thanks for the offer.

It's not about 3rd party, but meeting few people brought things into a different perspective;).

22 years of trying is a very long time, and i won't get into details as it is after all a public forum.
But lets give a different example, that i stayed in a job for 11 years trying to prove my self worth, being in a position to take them to court on 3 occasions but not doing so, as I did not want to destroy what I had put heart and soul creating.
Call it stupid, I call it integrity blah, blah believing...things will change get better, people will appreciate your efforts... year right:rolleyes:
Maybe I just have a hard head or don't give in that easily, or I'm a masochist, or who TF knows <any therapist out there?>

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

You know it's over when you wouldn't feel at all bad about ripping their still beating heart from their chest and flushing down the bog...or something.

Seriously though, for me it's over when I lose the smile in my heart when I think about them - you know the feeling, the one you get when they walk in a room and you instantly feel good. When that's gone, so am I.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

If your asking your self the question is it over then it usual is.

But with that said you might be able to bring it back to life if you say it is going to be over unless we can sort this out.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

maybe not analysing things might work, and its time to deploy the " listen, things are really bad with us " covosation (again if you have done it before) and if it turns into an argument then the main thing imo that you will be missing before anything else is comunication, but one thing that you should both talk about is what it was like when it was great, there had to of been something there in the first place.. im a strong believer that its never gone.. but forgotten and lost in countless upsets and arguments and disagreements that ebs away at "the thing" that bought you together in the first place.. the fact that you raised this thread is enough to see that you DONT want it to end and you are just sick of hurting inside.. and not sleeping on occasions playing it all over in your mind, and i'd bet my wage that deep down, behind the passive front she would jump at the chance to rekindle the relationship.. you just have to make her see its possible... i believe it can be done in 3 steps to at least get started
1. look at your self / whats changed - can alwys be undone if needed
2. pin point the exact time it all went balls to the wall ( it can be done if you think hard enough there is ALWAYS a turning point) so you stop thinking that it happend over a period of time
3. Talk about posotive things, gain an interest in the things that you would cosider a silly hobby that she has, if you relate on every level once more it will spark again.
RECREATE WHAT YOU HAD! it can be done on so many levels.. for Eg start wearing the same aftershave that you used to back in the day, sounds stupid.. but sensories triggers memories.. just make sure they trigger good ones

you just have to find what you had dude.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

:shock: wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of you Lozzo!

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

When it becomes more pain than pleasure. Possibly when you start thinking about how good single life would be?

I think as a lot of people have already said by the sounds of it you already know the answer deep inside and you`re possibly seeking affirmation that what you`re considering doing is ok to do.

If you`re not happy then don`t stay with someone you don`t love cos of "sense of duty"..... by ending the relationship it free`s you both to find the person who is right for you and can bring you happiness. Very best of luck x

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

I disagree with this and what Shell said along similar lines.

I've had relationships that i've finished happily, but then having seen them with someone else, felt annoyed/jealous.

IMHO its human nature to want something you can't have!

Personally i back my judgement that i probably called it a day for a reason....no point revisiting old mistakes. :cool:

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

My ex-wife moved to Australia after we split ;)

Actually, I get on famously with all but one of my ex's and regularly go out with some of them for the odd night. I count them as some of my best friends. The one I don't get on with I was married to and I wouldn't feel the slightest bit of sorrow or emotion if I was to hear she was dead.

Bitter? Moi?

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Look around...



... check carefully now...






... behind the fridge...








... down the back of the sofa.

OK - any fat ladies there singing fit to burst?

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

<pushes mum to front of stage with songsheet>

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

fairy nuff :)

I think you instinctively know when its over and like plowsie says, if you can't imagine being without them then its definitely worth at least trying to talk it through and most importantly listening to each other (as opposed to one person shouting at the other). If you've had enough then there is no point prolonging the inevitable, it will be better for both of you in the long run.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

You know hun. Really you know in your own heart

:grouphug:

You also know you have good friends

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

It can get to the point where you can run a relationship into the ground if you stay with someone, that's what happened with one of my ex-es, we ended up just arguing all the time until it was past the point of no return- would have been much less hardship if it was ended easier.

Of course, misery loves company, so probably disregard what I say!

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

thank you folks, I know deep down it was never really there, at least not how it should have been. I'm SLOW learner.

thank you Sally, the end I recon might happen before Spain.

I'll blame my mother for the "sense of duty" Clair.

Lozzo, I neither wouldn't like to get on your wrong side :shock: :D

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

I suggest you 'doink' him then ... that'll kill a few birds with one stone :D ... I hear he is quite the ladies man so you might even like it ... :smt026

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Why? I'm bloody lovely really.

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Haha...Who on earth told you that?

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

I is very fussy me friend, O:)

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Evidently not if you have been putting up with your twerp* for as long as you have!! :D



*massive assumption on my behalf from very limited data I know ;)

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

but if someone came along earlier that would turn my "happy" world upside down I'm sure I would have been long gone...sad eh?

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

So what if someone came along and turned your "unhappy" world the right way up, would that be the kick up the backside you need?

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Yes that is very sad ... but you are not alone ... I reckon there are more relationships in your state than truly happy ones ... people get institutionalised and fear leaving even a badly broken relationship like yours, especially without the backup of a new 'interest'!! ;)

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

IaMON - whatever you decide it looks like you have lots of mates on here and I am sure you have many off here you can count on.

Just make yourself happy and do it the way your heart says and you won't go far wrong.

My heart goes out to you hun xxxxx

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Men and Women are different.........

Women know 6 months in advance.

Men realise 6 months afterwards :D

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

ha, ha it might have already happened:bom:

thank you boyz and girls:grouphug:

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

Ah, now wecome to the real question.

"I've met this marvellous new bloke, do I ditch the boring long term bloke for him and become happy again?"

YES! I'll be round in a couple of days ;)

Re: relationships...how do you know it's over?
 

aren't you in a relationship? oi this is not match.com you know:smt046