Banned from Tesco
 

Not me but this has been shamelessly stolen from the interweb. I found it funny anyway....


Dear Mrs. Smith,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the TescoLoyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Leeds is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


6. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.


7. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

8. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

9. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna
look' using different size funnels.

10. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

11. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'


And; last, but not least:

12. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

lol...... very funny :smt023

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

pmsl

very good

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

Sad thing is I've tried most of these but haven't managed to get banned yet.

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

Just try wearing your lid when going into the attached petrol station, that usually does the trick!

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

I wish I had the nerve to try some of that.

Mind you I did walk around my Mothers local Co-Op, dribbling and pretending to be mentally disabled while holding her hand. She did not realise until a droplet of air cooled drool dripped on her hand. She had been wondering why people kept giving her sympathetic glances. :laughat:

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

Should be in the comedy thread...old but still funny.

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

Sounds like a normal shoppin trip for me with other half especially if my daughter with us as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

Hirarious!!!

I like to prat about in Tesco myself though I usually get told off by the wife!!

Best time was getting one of those massive display boxes of batteries and putting them in my trolley! Customers and staff found it hilarious, all apart from the checkout woman who snapped "you can't have those" and then wouldn't even trust me to put them back!

Re: Banned from Tesco
 

I am gonna go give some of those a go LOL ... may have to video the looks of folks faces while I do LOL he he he .... feeling bored being off work this will certainly entertain me.