How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

Seriously, I need to straighten out the only gay dog in the village. My son has a 9 month old rescue staff that s definitely on the other bus. It is constantly trying to hump other dogs and getting battered by them jealously guarding their honour and proud of their masculinity?

He has thought of getting his nuts cut, but we are scared that will make him even more the other way. How do we straighten him out and make him a dog a chav would be proud to own. He was supposed to put the fear of god into anyone who crossed his path. Instead they roll out on the floor laughing at him.

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

Don't bother trying, just buy him a pink bandana and call him Sparky. :cool:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA191_.jpg

EDIT: For reference http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA191_.jpg

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

well i dunno if you gonna be able to make him straight... but my gay basset might be the answer :) he, like your son's staffie also tries to hump all the neighbourhood dogs. said dog owners do laugh at him but only cos he a bassett! :)

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

Daft sod called it Rocky. I keep thinking of Frank N. Furter's creation

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

With a large hammer? Thats what i usually turn to when i need to turn bent things a little more straight.

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

Someone should write a screenplay about you and your familly Tim. I can see Ricky Tomlinson playing you and Mackenzie Crook, who plays Gareth Keenan in "The Office" as your son.

Oh, and as for the dog, it's like a Frankie Boyle gag,

"My dog will beat your dog"

"Oh, yeah, well my dog will F**k your dog!"

Pete ;)

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

Screen play about my family my arse

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

Exactly!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKMJDP-G4gU

Pete ;)

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

buy a new one.

Re: How do I straighten a gay dog?
 

Like ancient Gladiators, dogs use humping as a way of showing dominance over other males. I was shocked when I found out what Russell Crow should have been doing in that film, but then I guess it would have been a little more specialist! =;

If the dog is gay (and scientific studies have shown homosexuality to exist in other species) then I can assure you, it can't be "fixed".

I used to see a therapist a few years ago who specialised in treating the so called sexual disorders and he assured me that it is not possible to "cure" homosexual feelings and he had been trying since he first qualified in the 50s, when it was still illegal to be openly gay in this country.

Your dog and you may just have to do what I did and just get used to it. If you believe in God, you just have to accept that God made us (your dog and I) gay. :thumbsup:

By the way, my therapist was also a Church of England Vicar and telling him (aged nearly 80) what I got up to, was really quite odd, but that is another story. :smt041