The Difference Between Cats And Dogs.
 

DOGS DIARY

7am: Oh boy, a walk............my favourite!

8am: Oh boy, dog food........my favourite!

9am: Oh boy, the kids.........my favourite!

Noon:Oh boy, the garden....my favourite!

2pm: Oh boy, a car ride......my favourite!

3pm: Oh boy, the kids.........my favourite!

4pm: Oh boy, playing ball....my favourite!

6pm: Oh boy, welcome home Mum....my favourite!

7pm: Oh boy, welcome home Dad.....my favourite!

8pm: Oh boy, dog food.....my favourite!

9pm: Oh boy, tummy rubs on the couch.....my favourite!

11pm: Oh boy, sleeping in my people's bed.....my favourite!



CATS DIARY

Day 483 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded.....must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear into their hearts. They only coo-ed and condescended about what a good little cat I am. Hmmmm, that didn't go according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard my confinement was due to my powers of inducing 'allergies'. I must learn what this power is and how I may use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience.

I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

Re: The Difference Between Cats And Dogs.
 

Brilliant! :smt037

Re: The Difference Between Cats And Dogs.
 

:D

Was that part of an Eddie Izzard sketch? I can remember it vaguely, well, the art about why cats constantly dissapear round the back of the sofa...

... drilling for oil, drilling for jam, drilling for the love of drilling.:cool:

Re: The Difference Between Cats And Dogs.
 

I don't know where it originally came from. I copied it from our local residents newsletter. There is always a little gem like that tucked away inside somewhere.:D

Re: The Difference Between Cats And Dogs.
 

very funny that! cats wander out towards the cat flap, pause ...check keys...and stoll off

:D :D :D :D :D :D

Re: The Difference Between Cats And Dogs.
 

My Cat goes to the front door, he see's its raining and then abandons going out. Only to then walk to the back door cat flap, convinced that the weather is better at the back.

My cat comes from Dumasscass!

Re: The Difference Between Cats And Dogs.
 

Brilliant! My cat just read that ;)