Forum: Idle Banter
05-09-13, 09:17 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
22-07-13, 10:23 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
21-05-13, 07:23 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
CLAIM CLAIM CLAIM! Were you abused by a celebrity in the seventies or eighties? Did Jim fix it for you? Where you one of Rolf's two little boys? Did you get serviced in Kevin Webster's garage?...
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Forum: Idle Banter
09-01-13, 10:39 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
The wife and I were overjoyed when our new baby arrived. I walked proudly into the registry office:
"We'd like to call her Charlotte."
"Sorry," said the clerk. "Charlotte has already been...
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Forum: Idle Banter
09-01-13, 10:36 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
31-12-12, 06:12 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
22-12-12, 03:43 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
My wife changed into her bikini at the beach, and stood posing in front of me. "Well?" she said, "I've lost a stone, can you see a difference?"
I picked up a pebble and tossed it in the ocean....
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Forum: Idle Banter
27-11-12, 08:33 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
I went on a date with a blonde woman last night.
"Do you have any kids?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied, "I have one child that's under two."
She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many...
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Forum: Idle Banter
20-11-12, 08:02 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
I was walking down the beach today when I spotted a blonde sun bathing topless.
When she looked up at me I said, "Haven't you got gorgeous eyes."
"Thanks," she smiled. "Most men normally only...
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Forum: Idle Banter
17-11-12, 11:12 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
13-11-12, 08:53 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
13-11-12, 08:51 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
My wife came in starving today so I made her a great big cheese and ham salad sandwich.
"Don't eat it just yet, just hold the plate" I said.
Five minutes later I took it off her and threw it in...
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Forum: Idle Banter
06-11-12, 07:35 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
03-11-12, 08:38 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
03-11-12, 08:35 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
"Babe, is it in yet?"
"Sort of"
"Hang on, I'll push a bit harder. Is it in now?"
"Nearly."
"Does it hurt?"
"Yeah, it hurts a fair bit."
"Okay then, it's probably best that you try a bigger...
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Forum: Idle Banter
24-10-12, 09:22 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
23-10-12, 07:42 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
23-10-12, 07:31 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
20-10-12, 07:51 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
I said to my wife, "I was just disgusted when I saw a woman with her breasts out on the bus feeding her son."
She said, "All of you blokes are the same, it's just natural."
"I don't know what's...
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Forum: Idle Banter
18-10-12, 09:01 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
18-10-12, 08:59 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
I called my boss this morning and said, "I'm not coming into work today."
"Why not?" he asked.
I said, "My wife is throwing up in bed and she hasn't ironed my uniform."
"That's no excuse,"...
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Forum: Idle Banter
17-10-12, 07:12 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
14-10-12, 09:42 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
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Forum: Idle Banter
14-10-12, 09:39 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Pythagoras walks into a bar muttering, 'If a right-angled triangle has a short side, X, a long side, Y, and hypotenuse, Z, then the square of Z must be equal to the sum of the square of X and the...
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Forum: Idle Banter
11-10-12, 07:35 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,244
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
I was at a job interview the other day and the guy said to me, "I'm going to ask you three questions and I want you to give me three quick fire answers." So he said, "First question, how old are...
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