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Search took 0.01 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: Bluepete
Forum: Idle Banter 17-05-15, 09:38 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What is Braille for "do not touch?"
Forum: Idle Banter 17-05-15, 09:33 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What's the difference between pink and purple?

How hard you grip it!
Forum: Idle Banter 17-05-15, 09:33 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What stands in a field and goes ooooo?


A cow with no lips
Forum: Idle Banter 17-05-15, 09:30 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Don't make fun of fat people.

They have enough on their plates.
Forum: Idle Banter 17-05-15, 09:29 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Egyptologists have discovered a mummy that was covered in nuts and chocolate.



They believe it may be Pharaoh Roché
Forum: Idle Banter 11-02-15, 05:20 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

No, it's like goldy, but it rusts.

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 17-06-14, 10:29 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Thing is, he can remember what was posted four years ago, but not what he had for breakfast!

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 28-04-14, 07:18 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Condoms aren't completely safe.

My mate was wearing one and he got hit by a bus!

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 10-04-14, 07:59 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Nope!

Proper funny.

Pete ;(
Forum: Idle Banter 28-03-14, 06:54 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

How do you know an Essex girl has had an orgasm?

She spills her chips...
Forum: Idle Banter 24-03-14, 01:10 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Excellent!

Keep it up Bill!

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 06-01-14, 07:58 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I've been trying to come up with a Miley Cyrus joke, but it's just not twerking!

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 29-08-13, 05:06 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I pity the courtroom artist at Rolf Harris' trial. Talk about pressure!

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 21-08-13, 04:40 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

• 1. Rob Auton - "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."
• 2. Alex Horne - "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was...
Forum: Idle Banter 13-05-13, 08:51 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Don't mock, I'm a member of the RSDH. The Royal Society for Helping Dyslexics.

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 13-05-13, 01:23 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

The worst letter ever written...

Dear Jim,

Can you please fix it for me to appear on It's a Knockout?
Forum: Idle Banter 24-03-13, 07:11 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Last night I dressed my penis up as a clown and tried to have sex with my wife.

It's nothing kinky, it just hurts less when she laughs at it...

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 24-03-13, 05:06 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he'd had.

He started counting and fell asleep!

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 21-12-12, 06:39 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I found some salad cream that had a use by date of 21/12/12.

Turned out it wasn't salad cream, it was mayanaise!

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 18-12-12, 07:38 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Why did God invent Policemen?

So that Firemen could have heros too!

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 11-10-12, 05:00 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Not every flower can say love, but a Rose can.

Not every plant survives thirst, but a cactus can.

Not every 'tard can read, but look at you having a go!

Look at you, smiling at the...
Forum: Idle Banter 21-08-12, 06:37 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-19316443


Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 23-06-12, 12:21 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I'm left making bad chemistry jokes because All the good ones Argon.

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 22-06-12, 12:48 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

BOOBIES!

Proof that men CAN focus on two things at once.

Pete ;)
Forum: Idle Banter 19-06-12, 06:53 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 574,081
Posted By Bluepete
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Nope.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 41
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