Forum: Idle Banter
22-10-20, 06:35 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
English woman and husband visiting Wales for first time noticed most people speaking Welsh - they stopped for lunch in a nice town and woman asked a man on next table 'do you speak English - can you...
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Forum: Idle Banter
25-02-20, 07:17 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name....
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Forum: Idle Banter
07-01-20, 07:59 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Had to laugh at somebodies reply to the question ....
Q.... 'I have an old tin of golden syrup how can you tell if it has gone off ?'
A.... 'If it's past its best it'll smell like mole...
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Forum: Idle Banter
06-01-20, 08:56 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
02-12-19, 05:08 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
19-08-19, 09:14 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
"Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy"
"What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" -
"A cowboy asked me if I could...
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Forum: Idle Banter
05-08-19, 07:31 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
07-05-19, 04:46 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
One of our local farmers had a problem years ago during a hard winter, he went down to the fields one morning and all his cows were standing in the field not moving, he went over and checked one and...
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Forum: Idle Banter
06-05-19, 02:30 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
06-05-19, 12:07 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
“If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that!”
“One of my earliest memories is...
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Forum: Idle Banter
28-04-19, 08:43 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
The building of a European Union language!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German,...
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Forum: Idle Banter
26-04-19, 11:10 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Two prawns living in Caribbean were having a chat, one was called Christian and one Peter, Peter said ‘I am fed up with hiding all the time to keep away from predators, I wish I was a Shark, and...
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Forum: Idle Banter
28-02-19, 04:39 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
A guide was advising visitors to Yosemite park about the dangers of grizzly bears. He said the people who go into the woods are normally too quiet and if a bear does not hear you approach and you...
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Forum: Idle Banter
17-02-19, 10:09 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
I was annoyed by my wife continually nagging me to stop impersonating a Flamingo, in the end I had to put my foot down !
I recently saw an article on sheepdogs, I found out that deaf sheepdogs...
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Forum: Idle Banter
14-02-19, 12:00 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
I saw some second hand playing cards for sale at a Casino, I ordered them but after two weeks they had not been delivered - anyway when I phoned the Casino they said they were still dealing with my...
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Forum: Idle Banter
01-02-19, 10:30 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/4zPVvmSPfsPMV3TjkHg16sD/50-hilarious-cuttings-from-the-news-quiz?intc_type=promo&intc_location=news&intc_campaign=hilariousnewscuttings&intc_linkname=radio4_r...
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Forum: Idle Banter
04-11-18, 01:42 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
01-11-18, 09:51 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by
the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about
possible solutions to the food shortage in the...
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Forum: Idle Banter
21-10-18, 08:31 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
17-08-18, 05:57 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
12-08-18, 10:30 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
14-07-18, 05:21 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Snippets from personnel files
Since my last report this employee has reached rock bottom and started to dig
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity
I would...
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Forum: Idle Banter
27-01-18, 04:15 PM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
*To write with a broken pencil is pointless.*
*When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.*
*A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.*
*When the smog lifts in Los Angeles ,...
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Forum: Idle Banter
30-08-17, 11:48 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
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Forum: Idle Banter
14-08-17, 10:00 AM
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Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,377
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes
Murphys other laws.
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well
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