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Forum: Idle Banter 30-10-20, 10:11 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Who's into building specials ?

https://youtu.be/6KBSCNeMUrk
Forum: Idle Banter 21-10-20, 08:51 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Let this be a warning - not much comedy!

In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding
officer was sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve
the retiring colonel. After...
Forum: Idle Banter 24-09-20, 04:37 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

IDIOT SIGHTING No7

When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car,

we were told the keys had been accidentally locked in it.

We went to the Service Department...
Forum: Idle Banter 24-09-20, 04:35 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

IDIOT SIGHTING No 6

The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.

She...
Forum: Idle Banter 24-09-20, 04:34 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Beware - there's more

IDIOT SIGHTING No 5

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked:

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' ...
Forum: Idle Banter 23-09-20, 09:12 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

No - don't have an up & over door either !
Forum: Idle Banter 23-09-20, 04:40 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

IDIOT SIGHTING No 4

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry, but they only had...
Forum: Idle Banter 23-09-20, 04:38 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

IDIOT SIGHTING No 3

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign from our road.

The reason: 'Too...
Forum: Idle Banter 23-09-20, 04:37 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

IDIOT SIGHTING No 2

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us

that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought...
Forum: Idle Banter 23-09-20, 04:35 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

'The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;


They just make the most of everything they have.....




They Walk Among Us - BE VERY WARY
Forum: Idle Banter 19-06-20, 02:03 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Cheap ( & dirty ) weekend with next door's au pair ?
No food required.
Forum: Idle Banter 29-05-20, 11:29 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Subject: The Meaning of Aplomb!


His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

"Go ahead, Carson ," said His...
Forum: Idle Banter 05-02-20, 09:20 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Yet another 'not funny' one:


I used to think I was just a regular guy, but . . .

I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral...
Forum: Idle Banter 02-12-19, 01:57 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

No ff'in Comedy in this one !

Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.



The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25...
Forum: Idle Banter 31-10-19, 01:59 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

No joke really !
" Subject: Philosophy


The Great Lao- Zhu said



"It is only when you see a
mosquito landing on your
Forum: Idle Banter 20-11-18, 11:46 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

The President of the United States knew:
" So funny to see little Adam Schitt (D-CA) talking about the fact that Acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker was not approved by the Senate "

Bless him
Forum: Idle Banter 27-10-18, 02:37 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

To cheer you all up this dismal day :

Airport Full Body Scan Status Report



Finally, some useful facts are coming out about all of those airport full body scans!

FULL BODY SCANS AT...
Forum: Idle Banter 07-08-18, 12:47 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Don't try this on your SV !

I went to the liquor store Monday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Johnny Walker and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to...
Forum: Idle Banter 19-07-18, 09:06 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

The Logical Scientist


Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders...
Forum: Idle Banter 19-07-18, 08:57 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Passwords

Me: I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do some data entries. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender,

...
Forum: Idle Banter 03-07-18, 12:58 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Hardly Comedy, but . .

The only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk. So the town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily quite cheaply.
So, they brought the cow over from...
Forum: Idle Banter 28-06-18, 09:18 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Residents near the bus and coach workshop in Berlin were kept awake into the early hours last night because of loud hammering and banging coming from the workshop. One resident went to the workshop...
Forum: Idle Banter 24-03-18, 05:45 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

During my check-up I asked the Doctor,
"Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?”

He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."

I said, "I don't go in for any...
Forum: Idle Banter 07-02-18, 11:37 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress.
A sign read: 'Don't miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman'.
The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, on centre stage, was a...
Forum: Idle Banter 26-01-18, 10:10 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 563,741
Posted By punyXpress
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Ireland Declares War On France.

The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

'Hallo, Mr. Macron!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 191

 
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