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Forum: Idle Banter 16-10-14, 11:01 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I bought my Girlfriend a fridge for her birthday.

You should have seen her face light up when she opened it...
Forum: Idle Banter 20-09-14, 08:45 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

In light of recent events I'll recycle an old favourite:

What's the difference between an onion and a set of bagpipes?

No one cry's when you cut up the bagpipes.
Forum: Idle Banter 02-07-14, 09:58 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Who is this Rorschach fellow?

And why does he have so many pictures of my parents arguing?
Forum: Idle Banter 28-05-14, 10:45 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I'm currently writing a mystery novel...

Or am I?
Forum: Idle Banter 26-01-14, 10:45 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Shortly after uttering the words "Hold my beer and watch this", there stood before me a tall, ghostly, mysterious figure wearing a black cloak and carrying a scythe.

"Are you Death?", I ask.
...
Forum: Idle Banter 14-12-13, 11:57 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I used to DJ the Summer Solstice at Stonehenge.

But I no longer move in those circles.
Forum: Idle Banter 11-11-13, 12:28 AM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Somebody has stolen my copy of Microsoft Office right off of my computer.

If the thief is reading this:

I will hunt you down and bring you to justice. You have my Word.
Forum: Idle Banter 06-08-13, 10:27 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I have a fear of speed bumps.

But I'm slowly getting over it.
Forum: Idle Banter 02-06-13, 02:36 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

It's "Jamaican Hairstyle Day" at work tomorrow.

I'm dreading it...
Forum: Idle Banter 21-11-12, 11:18 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Just been watching some of that womens golf.

Their driving was awful, but boy could they use an iron.
Forum: Idle Banter 15-10-12, 09:30 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Just remember...

Plagiarism: Getting in trouble for something you haven't done.
Forum: Idle Banter 30-09-12, 12:16 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Teachers eh?

One day you're taking the register, next day you're on one...
Forum: Idle Banter 15-09-12, 09:28 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Two parrots on a perch.

One says to the other, "Can you smell fish?".
Forum: Idle Banter 09-09-12, 10:58 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Like it or not, thats how Facebook works.
Forum: Idle Banter 09-09-12, 10:40 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Archaeologists excavating a Pyramid in Egypt have found a Mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.

Experts believe it to be the earliest example of a Pharaoh Roche.
Forum: Idle Banter 02-09-12, 11:05 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

Half of Essex.
Forum: Idle Banter 18-08-12, 08:03 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Good news!

The Olympic Legacy has already started to kick in.

I caught the first 5 minutes of The Jeremy Kyle Show this morning, and literally everybody on there were wearing tracksuits.
Forum: Idle Banter 07-08-12, 09:32 PM
Replies: 1,377
Views: 571,654
Posted By squirrel_hunter
Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

I was down Weymouth yesterday to watch some of that Olympic sailing. Was quite good.

I saw the Brits take Gold.

The Dutch take Silver.

And the Somalis take a middle aged couple from...
Showing results 1 to 18 of 18

 
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