Today is a very meaningful day for me. On Thursday 12th June in 2003, my cousin, my best freind, took his own life. I knew he was upset with his life, with not having a job and not having alot of money....but I didn't think things were bad eough to warrant him taking his life. At the time, was angry, I was shocked, I was upset. I felt that way for ages, then I just couldn't understand it. Sometimes, I rather hoped he didn't do it, that it was some accident, or someone else. I wish I had been there for him more, I wish I had given him a call that morning, something, anything.
But now, 5 years on, I feel less anger. The pain still remains, its always going to I suppose. But I don't feel overly sad...now, when I think of him, I can only recall the good times...bombing about our local feilds on an XL125, four-up on a honda C90, burnouts on some useless 100cc suzuki thing, cycle rides around the country side, driving in his car singing very badly, phone conversations that were nothing more thana series of "you coming down?" followed by various grunts and then the phone going down and going down his house.
He was destined to become a biker, he taught me to ride, and I'm sure he would have made an excellent rider. He certainly would make better use of my SV than I do!
So, here's to my cousin. I hope you are resting in peace James, and dont think for a second we've forgotten you. I havn't, you made too much of an impact on my life for me to forget you.
A popular question that gets put around is "whats your favorite song?". Mine is Fade To Black by Metallica. Its all I have to reason why my cousin took his life.
Quote:
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Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye
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Don't know why I wanted to share this with everyone. I guess everyone just needs to talk sometimes about the things that hide behind their smiles.
Matt