Oh Matt I can't even begin to understand the hurt and the pain that this has caused you. But I can see the strength that has carried you through. You don't say if he left a note or what the inquest verdict was - suicide or killed himself - but the fact is that there is a gaping big hole in your life, and any loss, especially sudden and unexplained loss, is bound to be very very painful.
Remember him with fondness and love, forgive him, don't blame him - it will only cause bitterness and more upset. Rather than live in the life that you have lost, you must look forwards and get on with and enjoy the life that you have, and all that you have to look forward to. Easy for me to say, I know.
