Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul the 6th
Relocating - who's done it and how did you cope?
In may I moved from my home town in west yorkshire to York to continue my relationship with the missus. She moved down from middlesbrough to be with me last year in november. She never really settled and struggled being so far away from home. She had plans in place to start work at leeds university as a research assistant but the professor guy was a bit rubbish and it never really came together.
We moved to york to reduce the distance between her & her family, and also because she successfully gained a place on a PhD (at york university starting this october), and because I felt I was ready for a change of scenery & to broaden the mind etc...
This is the tricky bit - I've not really "integrated" into the local area at all since I don't 'have' anything in york. I'm self employed so even if I moved my office from west yorkshire, I still wouldn't have any work colleagues as such, I'm not in any form of education i.e. university, and I don't have any family over here. I've had a few friends over for weekends and been back home for nights out etc, but it's a pretty lonely lifestyle I'm leading lately.
I was wondering if anyone might have any advice from their own experience of relocating. Also, I've been considering getting into some volunteer/charity work around york as a way of getting out & about, and also to meet like minded people. Could anyone offer any advice about this sort of thing?
Any advice/ideas etc is properly appreciated 
p.s. I love her a lot so there's no point in saying "get rid" or "move home" etc... just looking for others' experiences on how they adapted and started new lives/found ways of making new friends in a new area
thanks in advance, paul w
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In a way sounds similar to me; other than that I work in an office. I've just moved in with my gf and without knowing whereabouts in W Yorks you were from, it sounds like a similar sort of distance. I have no family or friends were we are, though her family are only about a 10 min walk away! I don't mind it most of the time, but there is the odd time I miss being round people, such as tonight when I will be sat in alone (rather than in the pub with mates as I used to be) whilst my gf is out for a meal with work colleagues.
Stick at it is all I can say. Try to speak to the neighbours. Be sociable with the regulars at the bar when you go for a pint. Give it time, and I'm sure you will get to know people. You will also find that you will get more used to seeing people less as time passes and that it bothers you less also.
As well as looking for social outlets, might another interest help? You're less likely to feel lonely if you're busy...