“Prepping and Meeting up”
It`s Friday night and I am getting ready for the “Hardy Bikers Rideout 2” , I have a very jumbled mind from having way too many knocks on the noggin , I am trying to remember vital stuff for the weekend and pack it in my Rucksack and failing epically , UKGold is on TV and I keep getting sidetracked with watching episodes of “Bottom” . I eventually get the majority of stuff ready and get myself into bed around 1 in the morning . The alarm goes off and I open my eyes , it`s 7 in the morning and I head for the shower . Once sorted I get all the essentials together , finish the packing (sweeping everything methodically lain on the bed into the rucksack with one arm) and get the Autocom installed on the bike and have the Satnav MP3 player set for “Random” with a nice choice of 2 Slipknot albums , Anthrax , Metallica and Machine Head . My sister turns up and bundles the Dog into the car (Titch enjoys weekends with my sister as she is the Nigella Lawson of North Wales and a fantastic cook – The Dog often comes back smelling suspiciously of Steak and I am sure I see Peppercorn Sauce on her Whiskers – Damn thing eats better than I do) . My sister asks me what time I have to be there and I tell her I wanna be there for 10 , she looks at her watch and says “But it`s 8:30 now” ,
I run into the house to suit up , my sister drives off up the road and I look at the Dog , I am sure I can see her wriggling her Doggy Eyebrows , licking her lips and rubbing her paws together
. I swing a leg over the bike , make sure everything is zipped/locked/tied down and set off …….. I need to get a wriggle on here otherwise lateness will ensue .
I hit the A55 after fuelling up and drawing some spendies out and let the bike settle into a nice pace as I am in Brunstrom territory , I pass a few coaches and kids are in the back giving me thumbs up and stuff and I give the bike a quick Blatt away as the baffle is out and we need to encourage younger aspiring riders to have a nice sounding bike when they are older
. I pass the roadworks at St.Asaph and start to feel a bit better about getting some more speed on , a decent song comes on the Earpieces and I think “Aaaah sod it” I wind the throttle on with the song playing nicely and go for it . The M56 doesn`t last long and there is hardly anyone on it , I get to the M6 and by now the “Random” selection on the MP3`s has been anything less , I swear by now I have heard the same song 3 times and the music is getting on my thruppeny bits . I hear a beep in my ear which signifies a phone call , it`s my other sister .
Sister : Hiya Bruv , listen , this wedding …..
Me : I`m on the bike right now sis , can you ring me later ?
Sister : You don`t sound like you are , how are you talking on it ?
Me : Sis , I`m on the M6 , traveling at (x) miles an hour and can`t pull over to talk , chat later ok ?
Sister : Ok then bruv ….. it`s very good sound quality you know , you can`t tell ……..
Me : SIS ….. now is not the time .
Sister : Ok , don`t forget to ring me ok ?
Me : Yeah will do , byeeeeee .
BEEP (call ends) . I roll my eyes and think “This Bluetooth malarkey is gonna be a pain in the butt” . I only have it switched on in case Yorkie Chris or someone needs to ring me en-route or on the ride if anything happens . I spot a sign at the edge of the M6 and it says “Lancaster 45 miles” , I look down at the clock on the SV and it says 9:45 am , blimey , quarter of an hour to the meet time , Must Not Be Late . I wind the throttle on some more and go for it , The Scorpion Can is now bellowing like a Moose being taken from behind by surprise and every car I target has people`s heads turning to one side before I even get there . I spot the turnoff for the Services and , for the first time since joining the Motorway , I leave the fast lane and hit the slip road , The brakes are applied , then some more , then really applied and I think “Hooooooooly Shiiiii ………. This ramp is short” . I regain composure hoping none of the Org see my enthusiastic entry to the car park . I look around in case anyone has arrived before me ……….. they have , as there is a huge gaggle of Bikes . I am 10 minutes late as usual and park up .
Berlin and Dave20046 are the first to introduce themselves and I show my face to the others , I head upstairs to see the rest and get a warm brew down my neck , pretty much everyone is here . Map and contact details are handed out and we all have a gander at it and stash them safely . RobChester arrives and a little later Quiff turns up with Mandy and it looks like we are set to go . We all gather downstairs and Paul the 6th and ThEGr33k are comparing the length of their heated jacket wires , they touch them together and make a joke about “Interfacing” or something , I show them the lead from my Autocom in my Helmet and state “Mine`s bigger than yours” ….. The tone is set for weekend
We head for the Petrol station and some blind numpty nearly has me off in the car park , I beep my horn and hurl abuse at him and think to myself “that would be a bloody short ride-out , not even making it from the start” …………. Little did I know , 10 minutes later this would ring true for somebody .