1961 Matchless G80
OK, this wasn’t exactly on my list, but I reckon it’s worth reporting on. What is it? It’s an ancient overhead valve 500cc single cylinder. We were staying at a farm cottage in Cornwall where they had a load of classic bikes which the guests could take on escorted tours. On the day I’d arranged to go out the farmer had the trots so unleashed me on my own. I’ve never really appreciated how easy we have it. You need to decompress, prime the carburettor, then kick-start a huge lump of iron (a serious physical workout even, for a prime specimen like Rusty
). Oh yeah, forget most of what you know about bikes, rear brake is on the left, gear shift on the right, one up three down. It sounded awesome (when you get it started, by which time you’re fooked), properly loud (& legal cos it’s a classic) and it’s a big brute, I think it looked great. For most of the ride I was pretty confused because of the different instrument layout and the roads out there are very narrow with high hedges so you need to keep your eye well ahead. Everything was going well until a car pulled out on me, no big deal, this happens all the time with cage-only muppets. Hit the front brake; nothing, add the rear; nothing, now I’m worried. Pull like fu(k and eventually the rear locks and I eventually stop a bit sideways. This thing weighs twice the weight of a modern bike and with no brakes. Reality draws in and I decide to sack it off and get back as soon as possible. Well I would have done if it hadn’t broken down on the way back (clutch). I had to phone the farmer and get him off the bog to trailer the thing home. Definitely not for me. I do now however have maximum respect for those who do ride classics.