[Stingo]

Found this elsewhere...thought you guys might like to have a chin wag about it...

I've created a mathematical formula for calculating the coefficient of chaviness for any given chav:

Cc = ((Nxl / Nxlns) + (Nk x Nkdp)) x 32.187

Where:

Cc = Coefficient of chaviness, expressed in the internationally recognised unit of "Kerry Katonas"

Nxl = Number of xmas lights

Nk = Number of kids per family

Nxlns = Number of xmas lights (not stolen)

Nkdp = Number of kids (different partners)

32.187 = The internationally recognised chav constant