Goodfella

Went to start my bike this morning, kept trying to turn over but wouldn't start. I was certain I had turned my hotgrips off but decided to see if the battery had gone flat over night. Plugged in the charger then I hear a funny noise, not sure if it was from the charger or the battery, and then I got a shock as the bike was trying to start itself even though the keys weren't in the ignition. Then it just slowly died.

So, I've got absolutely no power at all, no dash lights, nothing. I check the charger and the light says the battery is fully charged, hmm that's weird. I disconnect the bikes cables from the battery then reconnect the charger, this time it says the battery is flat. Which seems right as my hotgrips don't power up either.

Surely there would be enough power to light up the dash lights at least? Why does it say the battery is charged with the power cables connected and why did the bike try to start itself when I connected the charger?