[garynortheast]

Good god man! This sounds really pretty grim. I thought I'd had a hard time over the last 4 years but it wasn't like that.
Are you getting any support from anyone/anywhere, besides the hospital/medical support? It sounds like you could do with someone to share the load just at the moment.

And there's no need to apologise for the rant, there will be a number of sympathetic and supportive folks here if you feel the need to unload.

I suspect once the hormone treatment is underway you may feel better able to cope with the rest of the stuff that's going on. Hang on in there matey and keep us posted on progress.