One or two observations below:
50degrees: Southerners turn on their heating. People in Newcastle plant their gardens.
40degrees: Southerners shiver uncontrollably. People in Manchester sunbathe.
30 degrees: Southern cars will not start. People in Leeds drive with their windows down.
20 degrees: Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats. People in Preston throw on a T-shirt. (Girls wear mini-skirts).
15 degrees: Southerners begin to evacuate. People in Scarborough go swimming in the North Sea.
ZERO degrees: Southern landlords turn up the heat. People in Bolton have last barbecue before it gets cold.
MINUS 10: Southerners cease to exist. People in Carlisle throw on a lightweight jacket.
MINUS 80: Polar bears wonder if its worth it. Boy Scouts in Southport start to wear long trousers.
MINUS100: Santa Claus abandons North Pole. People in St.Helens put on their long johns.
MINUS 173: Alcohol freezes. People in Newcastle become frustrated because the pubs are shut.
MINUS 297: Microbial life starts to disappear. The cows in Lancashire complain of vets with cold hands.
MINUS 460: All atomic motion stops. People in Bramley start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.
MINUS 500: Hell freezes over. Jose Mourinho hugs Arsene Wenger!
