[Bibio]

found the long lost Jack Schitt story in some paperwork i was going through but decided to edit it.

Who is Jack Schitt?

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "you don’t know Jack Schitt" but now you can intellectually handle the situation.

The response:
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and Alotta Schitt who were cousins. Jacks father Awe Schitt was the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc which was his fathers. Awe Schitt tragically drowned and as such passed on the family business to Jack.

Jack Schitt married a girl called Nae Way to become Nae Schitt. The couple produced six children Hoile Schitt (a girl), Fulla Schitt (a boy), Giva Schitt (a boy), Bull Schitt (a boy) plus the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt (both girls).

After 10 years of marriage Jack and Nae Schitt got divorced due to Needeep N. Schitt Inc going bust. Later Nae Schitt remarried a man called Ted Sherlock but due to the fact that the kids still stayed with their mother Nae kept her surname in addition to her new surname so becoming Nea Schitt-Sherlock.

After Nae remarried, Jack Schitt was found dead in a sex den with a plastic bag over his head. although Jack never lived long most people still remember his name.

As the years went by the kids of Jack and Nae grew up and got married. The first was Deep and Just like her grand parents Deep Schitt married her cousin Dum Schitt who was also a twin and as such Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt the other twin.

Deep and Dum Schitt had a son who they called Hoarse Schitt.

Dip and Loada Schitt had a son which they called Chicken Schitt.

Fulla and Giva were inseparable while growing up and married the Happens twin girls in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the local paper read The big Schitt-Happens wedding.

Fulla Schitt had two children which he named Dawg Schitt a boy and a girl named Coo Schitt.

Giva Schitt had one son which he named Needa Schitt.

Bull Schitt left home to tour Europe and when he returned from Europe he had married an Italian girl now called Pisa Schitt. Bull and Pisa had no children.

Hoile Schitt moved to somewhere in Africa and married Willie Lotter but kept her maiden name as well as take her husbands. Willie and Hoile only had one son who they named Walter Lotter-Schitt.

So now you know who the Schitt family is.