I wasn't suggesting a kidnap scenario in which I bring her to AR12 and we all have a go. That would be a little extreme. I was thinking more of a "kidnap and lock in a hotel room somewhere so her wedding goes down the pan and I can get away with not attending" scenario. That's a totally above board and accepted technique to avoid weddings.
Alternatively I could arrive in my biker gear and the SV running outside the church. Upon being asked if anyone here present has any reason why blah blah blah, I can pipe up with "YES! ****ING AR12", which the vicar will gladly accept as a reason to halt proceedings. At which point I'll run out to my bike, vicar in tow, who'll leap on the back, hold me tight and whisper to me how much I remind him of his favourite choir boy.
Yes, I am typing crap in an attempt to avoid work. Fag break me thinks ...
Happy birthday btw dude. I hope you got something really expensive and grand, like a gold toilet.
