Amplimator

A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club.
One day she goes up and knocks on the door.
A big, hairy bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms
answers. She boldly proclaims, "I want to join your club."
... The guy is amused and decides to humour her
a bit, so he says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join.
The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep... my bike's parked over there,"
and points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway.
The biker asks, "Do you drink?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, I drink like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table.
The biker then asks, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, I smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple of cigars in the evening, while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is very impressed and asks, "You sound like one bad
Mama. Tell me, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The little old lady thinks for a minute and says,
"Nope, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."