I didn't dare post this in Idle Banter for fear of abuse! - SV650.org

21-01-06, 07:05 PM

Tony Blair is at his office one morning, he takes a call from an advisor...

ADVISOR: "Good morning Prime Minister. Sir, I have some bad news. There was a fire in Sheffield last night. It seems that the Durex factory has burnt to the ground."

TONY BLAIR: "Oh my dear God, any casualties?"

ADV: "No sir, the nigh****chmen got out unharmed. However it has created a problem. Their storage warehouse and therefore the entire English stock of condoms has been wiped out."

TB: "Ahh, I see your point. You mean if we don't replenish nationwide stocks ASAP, we will have a baby boom in 9 months time, ruining the economy."

ADV: "That is correct sir. We advise you to ask your good friend Mr Bush for help in your time of national emergency."

TB: "Beg him for johnnies! Hell no! I'd be a laughing stock. We'd best keep this internal. Ask Jack McConnell to supply us from the Scottish stock. Promise him a bigger share in North Sea oil revenue for his generosity.

ADV: "May I suggest something? In return we'd like 5million red, white and blue condoms 12" long, 6" thick. That should make him feel important, but inferior at the same time."

TB: "Brilliant, action this plan."

A couple of days later a huge shipment of johnnies arrives in three trucks. A sample box is sent to No. 10 for approval.
Inside are indeed red, white and blue condoms. Each one has a gift tag. 'A present from Scotland. Size, small'

22-01-06, 07:35 PM

not the first time that jokes been around

It was allegedly attributed to Winston Churchill during WWII when they were asked to supply them to the Russians

22-01-06, 07:40 PM

really really bad tbh, as some-one whom scotland has been their home for 11 years and her best mate is Scottish and on this ite, sorry pal but very bad taste.

22-01-06, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Toad

not the first time that jokes been around

It was allegedly attributed to Winston Churchill during WWII when they were asked to supply them to the Russians

I thought it was the french - hence the name french letters?

or am i having a blonde moment again!

21-01-06, 07:05 PM	#1
haggis Guest Posts: n/a	I didn't dare post this in Idle Banter for fear of abuse! Tony Blair is at his office one morning, he takes a call from an advisor... ADVISOR: "Good morning Prime Minister. Sir, I have some bad news. There was a fire in Sheffield last night. It seems that the Durex factory has burnt to the ground." TONY BLAIR: "Oh my dear God, any casualties?" ADV: "No sir, the nigh****chmen got out unharmed. However it has created a problem. Their storage warehouse and therefore the entire English stock of condoms has been wiped out." TB: "Ahh, I see your point. You mean if we don't replenish nationwide stocks ASAP, we will have a baby boom in 9 months time, ruining the economy." ADV: "That is correct sir. We advise you to ask your good friend Mr Bush for help in your time of national emergency." TB: "Beg him for johnnies! Hell no! I'd be a laughing stock. We'd best keep this internal. Ask Jack McConnell to supply us from the Scottish stock. Promise him a bigger share in North Sea oil revenue for his generosity. ADV: "May I suggest something? In return we'd like 5million red, white and blue condoms 12" long, 6" thick. That should make him feel important, but inferior at the same time." TB: "Brilliant, action this plan." A couple of days later a huge shipment of johnnies arrives in three trucks. A sample box is sent to No. 10 for approval. Inside are indeed red, white and blue condoms. Each one has a gift tag. 'A present from Scotland. Size, small'

22-01-06, 07:40 PM	#3
foxyold Guest Posts: n/a	foxy really really bad tbh, as some-one whom scotland has been their home for 11 years and her best mate is Scottish and on this ite, sorry pal but very bad taste.

22-01-06, 07:35 PM	#2
Mr Toad Guest Posts: n/a	not the first time that jokes been around It was allegedly attributed to Winston Churchill during WWII when they were asked to supply them to the Russians