Things people say when drunk

A friend was fairly abusive to me over the weekend - it was obvious that she'd had a skinful. I was offended because some of the comments were deeply personal and tended to suggest that she had betrayed my trust on something I'd told her in confidence.

So, was this simply drunken ramblings? Or what she always thought and never had the guts to say so to my face? I called her this morning and confronted her with it. She told me that she would never mean to offend me and that I had misunderstood, that she had never said half the things she did say and that she was offended that I had taken offence at such innocent comments which were well meant.

Am I right to be narked? Do people really say what they mean when they're drunk? Forget it? Thoughts?

I've on too many occasions said things with real conviction when ****ed that I have totally the opposite thought to in sober life. Things that have been a bit sensitive to someone so taken seriously I've no idea why but alcohol works in hideous ways, I'd just laugh about it and expect a free beer courtesy of the offender

Too right on being narked.

Get in there and give her what for..

One of my pet hates is people thinking they got a 'get out of jail card' just because they've had a few. Utter load of balls in my opinion.. I can be civil (even more so when drunk) so when people try to fob me the next morning with 'awww, i was sooo p!ssed' it normally means they are going to get an extra slap in the chops..

ok, she's not in the good books. Being drunk isn't an excuse at all - but it shouldn't be taken as a serious onslaught with truths just becasue she was ****ed IMO.

I think a lot of people have said something stupid when drunk, me being one of them... i think you have less inhibitions when drunk and therefore are more likely to say something you would never dream of saying when sober. I think you do speak what you really feel/think when drunk.

Its a difficult situation, you have confronted her over it, i'd still be pretty narked over it too, maybe speak face to face next time you see her and go from there, if she is genuinely sorry then forgive her for it, but maybe refrain from saying things in confidence to her in the future.

Originally Posted by Samnooshka

I think a lot of people have said something stupid when drunk,

I DO

Being drunk is no excuse, it's just things they wanted to say when they were sober. Tell her exactly what you think and thank them for letting you know how they really feel.

I think you,ve done the right thing confronting her, personally I would keep her at arms length now particularly as she brought up stuff you thought was in confidence.I suppose it depends on your relationship with her in the first place, personal, professional etc. I would be a bit wary myself.

[Stingo]

Looks to me like the problem is she seems to think it's some one else's problem that they have taken offence, Ed's in this case. IMHO her attitude stinks. She gobbed off She WAS ****ed. She needs to apologise and not shift the blame. She appears to be one of these people who are unable to accept the blame for their own actions.

Time for limited sanctions such as stoppage of coffee, minor courtesies etc.

Originally Posted by Ed

Do people really say what they mean when they're drunk?

Crucial point here - they say what they think, not necessarily what they mean. Ok, example time, one of my friends, great guy, huge ears. Matt gets drunk (as was friend), Matt then points out these huge ears (like he didn't know), "ginormous" was the particular adjective used. Then I and the rest of us fell about over the word "ginormous" (which is a deeply funny word all in itself when you're drunk), and then got all confused over the definition of an adjective. Anyway, turns out big ears hadn't quite gotten over the psychological trauma of going through school with oversized auditory instruments and is genuinely upset. And I feel genuinely bad and genuinely apologetic (that night and the next morning).

Hypothetical example. I'm guessing you like all your friends, on balance they're great people. I bet also that most of them have little facets of their personality that you're not so keen on. You might think they're a little immature, or a bit tight fisted, or whatever; not a whole lot, but just a little bit, and hey, in the grand scheme of things that doesn't matter because they're really good friends. Now you'd never say this whilst sober, you might think it from time to time but you'd never say it. When you're drunk however you might, the engage brain before opening gob bit breaks, and you can also find yourself bigging up some trivial detail of how you perceive that person, making a mountain out of a molehill.

None of this however should excuse the action, I too hate the "soz mate, I was bladdered" get out of jail free nonsense. And the divulging confidential secrets bit is a seperate issue really, I'll leave that to your own judgement it could be huge, it could be minor. If it's "where you hid the bodies" you might want to dig out the concrete wellies before she becomes a witness for the prosecution