parental respsonsibility

[dizzyblonde]

I didn't like my ex partner any more and split with him some four years ago.
It was hard going-as all divorces/seperations are having a child. At first i thought it best that he came up to see our son once a week so that we could all get used to the situation, and gradually when the dust was settled and he found a house etc, he started having our son over the weekends whilst I was working. I am with the camp that believes a father/child relationship should be maintained if possible no matter how much ,you yourself, don't like the man anymore or want him involved.
There has been various ups and downs over the years- one of which ended up with him forcing me down the mediation route- to which I ended up rolling over and letting him have his own way. The mediator thought it was a good idea to allow my ex 'parental responsibility' for various reasons-such as if he went on holiday with his dad and the wife, he fell and broke his arm etc, his dad could sign relevant forms etc instead of having to call me to do it. Fine- I couldn't see the problem with that, he's is dad, so we agreed. However some months ago I'd started getting concerned about my sons general moods and wellbeing after a weekend with his dad, confronted him and got the response of- 'I'm not a glorified babysitter for you being at work...blah blah blah....i don't want to see him til its sorted out......



that was in september, sons birthday in october, christmas-no show. halelujah peace and quiet,no squabbling, no orders from big mouth ex, sons behaviour improving etc etc

However- the parental responsibily agreement- he's not doing his bit now, so can I have it cancelled???
Any legal type folk here that can help clarify what I need to do about it??

[Stingo]

Blimey!! Your ex sounds like he doesn't know which side his bread is buttered!!. I guess that's why he's your ex.



I'm not much use but here have one of these...

[dizzyblonde]

Much as I can't stand the bloke, he gave me the gift of a super son....

dizzyblonde I'm on the opposite side of this in a way ... and have had my own battles just to see my kids (I've been divorced for 7 years now). Although my ex doesn't publicly announce that she doesn't want me seeing the kids, she has done everything legally possibly to make contact as awkward and difficult as possible in the hope that one day I'd have said "ya know what ... stuff it, you're welcome to them" ... but they are my kids, they are wonderful, and I love them to bits ... who in their right mind wouldn't want anything to do with their own children?!? result last week after our second time in court (in the last 4 years) was that I was granted a "defined contact order"

anyway ... I digress ...

Yes, you can have Parental Responsibility revoked (not sure about all the circumstances and/or conditions) but see this link.

HTH
Pete

Originally Posted by dizzyblonde

Much as I can't stand the bloke, he gave me the gift of a super son....

sounds very much like my situation, can't stand the woman, but I got 2 beautiful sons

Could the indicated resentment from your ex be a sign of in fact he has not fully passed through the healing process yet? Possibly he might still actually want to be back with you if he had the choice. Until he can move on in his own mind he will at times be unreasonable and forget his priorities which, surely should be to enjoy the time he has with your son.

Originally Posted by Pedrosa

Could the indicated resentment from your ex be a sign of in fact he has not fully passed through the healing process yet? Possibly he might still actually want to be back with you if he had the choice. Until he can move on in his own mind he will at times be unreasonable and forget his priorities which, surely should be to enjoy the time he has with your son.

Exactly what I was thinking. Relationships are a head **** that make you do irrational things.

Whether or not he's wanting to reconcile, he's showing zero parental responsibility buy not keeping in touch with his son. I've experienced this sort of thing, but my boy was 14 and gutted every time his dad reneged on an arrangement. I too am all for maintaining relationships for the child's sake, but you are right to want to stop this if it looks like being a regular thing.

It's very immature of him to deny his son contact because of whatever is going on with you two. Best of luck

Dont know if its a good idea really lou as your son should have time with his father, but if his father cant be bothered its not good for him.
Am sort of in the same situation as the wife and I sort of split up 3 years ago but still live in the same house. We stayed together because of the kids and if i'd have moved out the money wouldnt havestretched as far.
But in your case I'd ask him if he still wanted anything to do with bringing up HIS son and if not just cut him out completely and make him tell your son why he wasnt playing his part in his up bringing.

[Biker Biggles]

Cant answer your basic question but keep a diary of all events.If push does come to shove you will need evidence and that will be a good starter.

Originally Posted by Biker Biggles

Cant answer your basic question but keep a diary of all events.If push does come to shove you will need evidence and that will be a good starter.

That's a very good point.