I'm opening my heart up to the org (a tiny bit)

[Paul the 6th]

Relocating - who's done it and how did you cope?

In may I moved from my home town in west yorkshire to York to continue my relationship with the missus. She moved down from middlesbrough to be with me last year in november. She never really settled and struggled being so far away from home. She had plans in place to start work at leeds university as a research assistant but the professor guy was a bit rubbish and it never really came together.

We moved to york to reduce the distance between her & her family, and also because she successfully gained a place on a PhD (at york university starting this october), and because I felt I was ready for a change of scenery & to broaden the mind etc...

This is the tricky bit - I've not really "integrated" into the local area at all since I don't 'have' anything in york. I'm self employed so even if I moved my office from west yorkshire, I still wouldn't have any work colleagues as such, I'm not in any form of education i.e. university, and I don't have any family over here. I've had a few friends over for weekends and been back home for nights out etc, but it's a pretty lonely lifestyle I'm leading lately.

I was wondering if anyone might have any advice from their own experience of relocating. Also, I've been considering getting into some volunteer/charity work around york as a way of getting out & about, and also to meet like minded people. Could anyone offer any advice about this sort of thing?

Any advice/ideas etc is properly appreciated

p.s. I love her a lot so there's no point in saying "get rid" or "move home" etc... just looking for others' experiences on how they adapted and started new lives/found ways of making new friends in a new area

thanks in advance, paul w

I moved from London to Sydney about a year ago! Only person i knew was my GF who moved with me! I guess the biggest difference for me is that i work for a company with a lot of other similarly aged people (late 20s early 30s) so meeting people has been pretty easy.

Also there is a very good bike forum for riders in the area and through them I have done a load of (discounted) trackdays and met a load of other bikers.

Some of the Aussie guys/girls I worked with in London, put me in touch with their friends over here and I have since hooked up.

Now after a year, I'm planning on heading over to NZ in january and will have to start all over again!

[Paul the 6th]

flippin heck... lol.

I think that's one of the main things for most people who relocate - meeting new friends through work. I guess self employment isn't all it's cracked upto be lol?

Originally Posted by Paul the 6th

Also, I've been considering getting into some volunteer/charity work around york as a way of getting out & about, and also to meet like minded people. Could anyone offer any advice about this sort of thing?

Sounds like you know the score already. Concentrate on what means the most to you, and friends will reappear.

A chance to reinvent or even have time to yourself is something that most of us dream about.

Enjoy.

Me and my fiancee moved from Sheffield to Cornwall in Nov 2006 - all our family and friends are in Sheffield, but it seemed a good opportunity to move down here. I am in a similar boat in that I work from home (not self employed tho), so I too don't go to an office full of people either...we didn't know anybody down here before we moved either...

We have integrated ok (as much as we want to with the old banjo players), and found that joining some sort of club helped (we joined a rowing club, as we live so near the sea) - a good way to get to know people...

One benefit tho it that when friends and family come to visit, they tend to stay for at least a few days, and get chance to spend some decent time with them....the downside is, I can't just pop out for a pint with my uncle....

On balance, and with hindsight, we would still have moved...better pace of life and a much nicer area to live in...just gotta work at it...

HTH,

BB.

[JamesMio]

I'd echo the club/organisation idea - sports/gym/IAM/Rospa even.

I relocated from Lancashire to Berkshire 2 years ago to be with my now husband. I still miss my friends and family but have settled down here i have not made many friends to be honest but then thats not really an issue as people visit we go up north and we are kept busy most of the time.

go for it give yourself time to settle don't expect overnight

In March 2003 I moved from East Anglia to the North East. I bought a house in a particularly insular mining town. I haven't integrated all that much, mainly because I'm not that bothered about doing so as I'm a naturally shy, introverted and retiring individual - but I have made a few good friends from work, and of course that reprobate Richie moved in nearby a couple of years back.

Don't regret it for a minute.

[Viney]

Verna moved from the depressing north to the vibrant south east 2 and a half years ago. i know she misses her family and friends a lot and she was worried that she was going to be nobby no mates, but she has made new firends and i hope, she really likes it, and its only a 3 hours journey back up north!

Originally Posted by Viney

its only a 3 hours journey back up north!

yep it is